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I'm back in therapy. My Therapist told me she believed I was holding on to my ptsd as I was scared at letting myself go forwards, after a lot of thought, I think some of this is true and it did shock me. Anyway the session went on and she talked about my potential in life what she thought I was capable of etc all very positive, then said you've got to move on you've got to allow yourself to be free now, you've carried this for too long it's my time to shine etc. I just broke down completely because I know this but won't let myself do it. Anyway 2 days later I still can't stop crying really unusual for me, but I feel like something or someone has died like I'm on a huge grieving process I feel completely lost if not abandoned?? Could this perhaps be an inner child thing or has reality hit me hard and I'm grieving for what Ive lost etc I'm very confused and would really appreciate any advice.

Hi boats, I have just stayed on them for now, going through quite challenging to with my cptsd so didn't end up doing anymore.

I belong to a few cptsd support groups on Facebook and on one there were a few people from the uk saying they had just had the official cptsd diagnosis  yet when I talk to my psychologist about it she says she knows all about cptsd and thinks that's my diagnosis but because it's still not officially recognised she still has to treat it as ptsd. This is frustrating, I think it must depend on which area in the uk you live and maybe what the therapists are trained to treat? I don't know, that's just what I think, but it is annoying that people in the other side of the country are understood yet I'm still being treated for something else although they know that isn't the case!! 

Hi Libby, I had to sign a form to say I was happy or not happy for my info to be sent to the  G.p. Is I said I was happy for this. I'm assuming it has but have never chased it up as I don't 'need' to, for now anyway but would be interested to know what my notes said. I just guessed that my psychologist would send info there whenever I was discharged but having said that, I know that a lot of things I've mentioned to my gp she was completely unaware of , so not sure if it has or hasn't.
Again tho like you say this leaves us in a vulnerable situation where we don't know if/what has been said and certainly my psychologist has never discussed that she has sent any report etc, but maybe they aren't allowed to discuss the info with us, I'm really not sure how the whole nhs set up works, but I know it's a lot more complicated then it needs to be. I hope you're ok tho, I don't come on here so much now so try and catch up when I can.

Hi, just wanted to say, I'm so pleased that hints are moving in the right direction for you, it sounds like you really are getting the correct help. Being from the uk like you it's always interesting to hear how mental health services are helping but it sounds like you are going to get what you need, and I know that it's not easy in the uk with funding and staffing problems. I'm really interested to hear a]how you get on, so really hope you keep posting.

Hi thetruth and Libby, I just wanted to say I feel your disappointment with your results through the nhs, I'm wondering the truth, are you in a position to be able to change gp's? I'm from the south of England in a quiet part of the country, but my help through the nhs has been so good with gp's listening and understanding and referring me on. I'm 3 years into nhs therapy, the problem for me has always been that you only get up to 12 weeks therapy and then have to be discharged but then can reapply but the whole process goes on forever and I wish inhindsight that I'd found myself a private therapist so it could be on going, but I'm too far down the line now to want to do it. I've had a psychiatric assessment, emdr, Cbt and psychotherapy and am on the waiting list to go back for more emdr and psychotherapy followed by 12 weeks of trauma related Cbt, this is all through my gp who was so amazing in helping me with this journey and it disappoints me to hear the lack of support you have had, maybe it's because I live in a relatively small area that I'm getting that help or maybe I just have a gp who understands, but I hope you get the help that you need.

Hi I'm from the uk too and have been in citalopram for 15 years, my anxiety was getting a lot worse do I got put on mitazapene, it gave me terrible heart palpitations and would wake me in the night they were so bad therefore my anxiety was a lot worse so came off. Then got put on propranolol, they were ok but I needed to take a daily max dose to feel the effects and therefore ended up like a zombie not being able to think and just wanting to fall asleep all the time. Like the others have said, coming of antidepressants is a really long process and you never should just stop, this can cause fits and all kinds of problems.

Oh that's fantastic news I'm so pleased for you, being a fellow nhs patient on the primary care front I know how hard it is to get what you have been offered and I'm so pleased you have now what you need. Will you please keep us updated on your care and treatment as I am really interested to hear on your progress etc. Wishing you the best of luck with it all.

Hi Libby, yes me too, in fact when I go to the cinema I have to wear ear plugs! As stupid as this sounds it keeps the volume and intensity down for me, I still struggle with the brightness of some of the films tho. I also have to have an aisle seat so I can get out easily if I need to, but the ear plugs really help me plus I have long hair so no one can see I'm wearing them! By the way I saw the film too, thought it was amazing and very very sad.

Hi Dee, sorry I've only just seen the post, but I wanted to wish you all the best, strangely I was thinking about you earlier and hoping you were doing ok. Please let us know how you get on.

I read this too, my therapist who is trauma trained told me that herself and a group of trauma trained psychologists were invited to a mindfulness convention and all walked out of the event as they said that people who've suffered trauma can't be mindful it normally creates more anxiety because the traumatised person doesn't feel safe being safe in their mind as the mind is so mixed up, so to try and step away from it causes an unknown reaction in the brain causing panic and anxiety to arise. I also can't meditate and am unable to do yoga for the same reasons.

Hi hope, I can totally sympathise with you and I too feel frozen sometimes especially when those horrible flashbacks re surface, I literally feel my body freeze and my brain telling me that I've imagined certain things or just made it up (I believe that regularly) but I think because I'm so disassociated from myself that when I do remember it's as if I'm watching someone else. I too have spent years reading self help books and can totally relate to most of what is being said in them. They are helpful but again I feel like I read too much into things then I put myself in the situations and make myself feel worse. The nhs are strongly recommending Cbt for ptsd now, I've just had a course with them and have to say I didn't find it helpful at all, but I do like nlp which is more about changing the things we say and accepting how we feel, I never like to 'feel' and this has been a big problem for me all my life but again I think disassociation is the reason why again! I too don't work because of the cptsd but it has left me feeling like I don't really have a purpose and I'm stuck in time.. frustrating to say the least, but I really understand what you're saying and how you're feeling.

Do other people feel totally exhausted and struggle to literally do anything? I sleep 12-14 hours but with really vivid often scary dreams where I wake up and for a long time I'm still in that dream. But as the day goes on, I struggle to get dressed and do anything productive. I thought I actually must be ill so visited the gp and had lots of blood tests and everything is ok. Now I'm thinking, am I just totally lazy or is this connected to the cptsd/depression? I really do struggle to just get washed and dressed sometimes and when I do I tell myself off, I see myself as lazy which I hate and wonder sometimes if I use my diagnoses as an escape but when I say I struggle I really mean I do, all the time my brain is telling me to go to sleep, go back to bed but it's like my body keeps fighting on and saying no you need to do these things etc, I end up in a viscous cycle where I want to but I can't then when I don't I make myself worse! Just wondered if anyone else was like this or maybe it's just me'

Hi, unfortunately I have no tips but just wanted to say that I get this too, I wake up throughout the night feeling like I'm choking and can't swallow, have to have a large glass of water with me to ground myself, I also get nightmares that stay with me all day and I regularly have to stop and think was that my nightmare or did it really happen, it's horrible and I understand how you must be feeling.

Hi, I've been studying a little psychology lately and one of the subjects is why are people attracted to their career choice, it's been really interesting and some of my studies have shown that people who want to work within the care sector are more often then not people who have lacked appropriate care for themselves and want to give something back to society, the same as people who work in the financial sector come from either a background where money was an issue or have ne er been short of money, quite often when you look at people and their careers you can really see the reasoning behind it. My aim is to work with fellow trauma sufferers ideally children. Also it's said that people who have suffered poor childhood experiences grow up with a desire to want to save the world, definitely a trait that I follow.