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Messages - anosognosia

#16
Thank you for sharing this resource!  I cannot wait to find a mindful moment where I can explore this.

I appreciate the different angles from which to approach my C-PTSD journey.
#17
93 over here, which is still red zone on all spheres but I can tell you this is a decrease from what I was before thanks to therapy!  Sad but true.  :applause:
#18
Frustrated? Set Backs? / Re: Do we have to forgive?
March 30, 2015, 02:17:24 AM
C, I haven't actually seen the kindle version and the hardcopy is 260$ on Amazon... let me know if you find better offers.
#19
The Cafe / Re: Today I feel...
March 29, 2015, 03:39:07 PM
Quote from: Widdiful Falling on March 28, 2015, 12:22:12 PM
Anosognosia, I'm sorry to hear you're sick. Make sure you're taking care of yourself! Your body can't help it, after all.

If you're getting colds, with symptoms, it means your immune system is hard at work. It's trying to protect you. It's kind of a nice thought, to me.

I hope you feel better soon!  :hug:

Thank you, I've been feeling much much better this morning. I think I'm just the kind of person who gets sick often (maybe I should move to a warm state like Florida) so I've decided to just have a strategy for when I'm sick. Eg. Get more sleep, get up early to medicate before work, so I don't feel miserable throughout the day.

#20
Frustrated? Set Backs? / Re: Do we have to forgive?
March 29, 2015, 03:32:00 PM
Quote from: Whobuddy on March 28, 2015, 01:13:09 PM
Pete Walker in his book, The Tao of Fully Feeling, writes: ...I believe the fourth commandment should be retranslated as "Honor your father and mother if they honor you."

Does anyone know where I can purchase an ebook reader version of this book?  I can't seem to find it anywhere!

Thank you so very much!
#21
The Cafe / Re: Today I feel...
March 28, 2015, 12:01:22 PM
Frustrated with my body because I keep getting sick. This has been the third cold of the winter season.
#22
Frustrated? Set Backs? / Re: Do we have to forgive?
March 28, 2015, 01:56:37 AM
I was a few days away from death from their parental neglect, if medical help hadn't stepped in.

#23
The Cafe / Re: Today I feel...
March 24, 2015, 05:31:08 PM
Defeated. I was given some bad news at work which might place me in a disadvantage for career enhancement. I appealed to the powers that be and they said they would look into it.

Still can't shake the feeling of being "the targeted one".

#24
The Cafe / Re: Today I realized that...
March 20, 2015, 11:08:07 AM
Quote from: BeHea1thy on March 19, 2015, 04:00:21 PM
Seeking out therapy from a man who consistently offends me is not gonna work. I terminated the relationship via secure e-mail and asked for a referral to someone else. Yeah ME! :applause:

Good for you. I always feel guilty for changing therapists, but if there's no alliance why should they get my 160$ for a bad hour.
#25
The Cafe / Re: Today I realized that...
March 19, 2015, 08:05:37 AM
I met my friend's boyfriend last night and realized that I'm still drawn to drama and find stable things boring.
#26
Frustrated? Set Backs? / Re: Do we have to forgive?
March 15, 2015, 02:07:41 PM
Quote from: Charlotte on March 15, 2015, 05:41:50 AM
I've had the same question(s) for a long time.  I also say no, forgiving an abuser is not necessary for healing.  It can be a good thing but there is already so much grace and caring going on that allowed you to come this far and separate and grow.  That in and of itself is highly admirable love.  Forgiveness may or may not happen, but it need not happen now.  Imo.

Thank you!!!  I am relieved by your words.

It's too bad that the majority of society would take the stance of "they are your PARENTS, you should be nice to them". "You will regret it when they die".

In all honesty, I'm not sure I would be devastated if they were gone. It sounds harsh, but right now I could take it or leave it.  A part of me would probably be relieved too.
#27
Quote from: voicelessagony2 on March 08, 2015, 10:26:27 PM
I always thought I knew what empathy and emotional intelligence were, but right now I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I think it might be possible that I have mistakenly given myself a pass on this topic because I am extremely sensitive, but I never really stopped to think about it or explore with an open mind. Sensitive may not necessarily equate to empathy.

For example, I feel intense sadness and outrage when I learn about innocent people thrown in prison, child abuse, animal abuse, endangered species, etc., but whatever you want to call that, it does not necessarily, in my case anyway, interpret into everyday interactions with people - at home or in a work environment.

With regards to getting upset when hearing about grave injustices like indicting an innocent person, could it be that there is some projection? It's hardest to advocate that much for ourselves, but seeing a surrogate target chanels that emotion we deep down buried.

I've been reading up on different attachment patterns, and the one I identify with the most is called anxious-preoccupied, which have been shown to have higher emotional sensitivity than the other attachment types.  We are sensitive in picking out emotions in others, but since it's part of the hypervigilence reaction in a quest to be safe, sometimes the knee jerk interpretation (especially when a scenario doesn't pertain to you) can be mis-interpreted by the anxioius preoccupied.  It's only after they're allowed to calm down that they see the identified emotions more objectively and can draw a rational (and more accurate) conclusion as to what is going on and why.

...
#28
As I'm from a home of a narcissistic father with a subservient mother,
I'm used to turmoil and confusion and volatile emotional flairups in my intimate relationships.

I've done my share of dating men who made my fears come true - I sought out playboys, narcissists, a**holes. 

Now I'm seeing someone who is extremely stable - he doesn't do anything to make me suspicious. This of course makes me extremely suspicious, as if a grand conspiracy building up against me like two tectonic plates accumulating friction with a grand earthquake about to erupt.  I CBT my way out of that way of thinking at times and it helps get my fear of abandonment from 12/10 down to a 4/10.

In ANY case, I was wondering if anyone has ever felt NOTHING for their partner for a few moments? I have this new unfamiliar feeling that I sometimes feel nothing when I think about my partner.  Let's say I think about him 20 times a day. I would say 4 out of 20 times I just think about him (I wonder what he's doing, or his face just pops up) but I don't have that rush of loving emotion towards him. I just feel nothing.

Is that normal? 

#29
NSC - Negative Self-Concept / Re: Shame
March 14, 2015, 10:47:18 PM
Quote from: Rain on November 26, 2014, 03:21:05 PM
The old "gracious, if my own parents could not even love me, then who can?" 

^ Yes. Yes yes yes. This quote has governed my life and whenever a good romantic partner is straight forward kind and nice to me, I sabotage that so quickly in a backlash, as surely I have to continue to live under the "unloveable" label!!!
#30
Frustrated? Set Backs? / Re: Do we have to forgive?
March 14, 2015, 06:31:17 PM
Quote from: keepfighting on March 13, 2015, 01:25:46 PM
I was raised by Narents and like you, on some level I still wish I could make them see and understand the hurt they've put me through and the impact it had and has on my life. But alas, we're truly "children of the self absorbed" and there is no way of getting through to them. So the best option is to look ahead and take the best possible care of ourselves and allow ourselves to heal.

[...]

Forgive your f inasmuch as it's neccessary for your own sake - that's all you're responsible for IMO.

Thank you! I will take you up on this suggestion. Makes me feel better to have these opinions. I'm re-reading Susan Forword's Toxic Parents book - and she jumps to how to re-engage with parents either through a letter or confrontation. I just don't know if I will ever get there.  Certainly now is not the best time.  But I was starting to put pressure on myself.

Thanks again everyone.