So, I'm working on this book about the brain. I knew it would be a tough one. To make it tougher than it needs to be, I have a client who is resentful of my biz partner, a biz partner who thinks that the burnout he's having isn't anything to do with him overbooking and an author who has supplied the worst image ref possible for a subject that is literally mind-boggling.
I blew my top last week to appeal for some logical working methods and yes, there were changes, but they lasted about 3 days before we drifted back to the default position. I made it very clear I was ill and that certain types of pressure, none of which should be present if we were running professionally, would cause me to become ill again. Well that didn't last.
I'm pretty angry right now because I can feel the relapse coming like a train and there is just no good reason for it. Not just that, but the editors, because they've taken on too much work, again, are now requesting the deadlines to go back. That means that we invoice later too. That in turn means I hit a financial wall around xmas day. So, essentially I am about to lose money because they both wanted to try and earn more.
This has gone on too long. The only way out of this now is to cut the chord and take my chances with some welfare options. That it has come to this is just the pits.
Not just that, but now my honesty about my health has been turned into condescension, part of an obvious defence against taking any responsibilty for the way these old patterns play out.
I have to get away from this. It's so bad for me.
Having said all that, the Cptsd nw feels less present, being replaced by the same old weariness I used to have before it flared badly back in jan. It's a kind of progress. But I know that my health now is totally linked to ending this partnership and doing something normal for my income. This just won't do.
People.... What a world it would be if people took responsibility.
I blew my top last week to appeal for some logical working methods and yes, there were changes, but they lasted about 3 days before we drifted back to the default position. I made it very clear I was ill and that certain types of pressure, none of which should be present if we were running professionally, would cause me to become ill again. Well that didn't last.
I'm pretty angry right now because I can feel the relapse coming like a train and there is just no good reason for it. Not just that, but the editors, because they've taken on too much work, again, are now requesting the deadlines to go back. That means that we invoice later too. That in turn means I hit a financial wall around xmas day. So, essentially I am about to lose money because they both wanted to try and earn more.
This has gone on too long. The only way out of this now is to cut the chord and take my chances with some welfare options. That it has come to this is just the pits.
Not just that, but now my honesty about my health has been turned into condescension, part of an obvious defence against taking any responsibilty for the way these old patterns play out.
I have to get away from this. It's so bad for me.
Having said all that, the Cptsd nw feels less present, being replaced by the same old weariness I used to have before it flared badly back in jan. It's a kind of progress. But I know that my health now is totally linked to ending this partnership and doing something normal for my income. This just won't do.
People.... What a world it would be if people took responsibility.