Quote from: emotion overload on September 01, 2014, 02:27:15 PM
I really struggle with this now that I am OOTF, because I can't blame the enmeshment on uBPDm anymore. I have trouble NOT telling her things. It's why medium chill and boundaries are such a scary idea for me. Especially now, when I am lonely and don't have a boyfriend, I go to her with most of my problems. And it embarrasses me to admit this. I know better. I know that I am just giving her ammunition and perpetuating an unhealthy relationship. But it's habit and conditioning, I guess.
I can empathize, I have my own trouble separating emotionally from my mom even though she's not even here anymore. If she was your only emotional support growing up, as my mom was, it's hard to give that up.
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I will look into The Emotional Incest Syndrome again. It's on my amazon wishlist, but I was afraid it was more directed towards mother/son or father/daughter relationships. I wasn't sure how helpful it would be for mother/daughter. But Finding My Voice, your recommendation lets me know it should help with me.
Yes, I was just thinking too that it might address what I think you were talking about elsewhere with rapid up-and-down mood swings -- I think she talks about that as an effect of being a "chosen child" (i.e. the child the parent leans on for support).