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Messages - Kizzie

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1
Therapy / Therapist & CPTSD
« on: February 20, 2020, 06:56:23 PM »
Hi Marta - Just wanted to let you know I moved your post and made it into a separate topic so it wouldn't derail the thread that was going.

Have you talked to your T about whether they have experience/training with CPTSD? It might be the best place to start as we don't know them or anything about their experience, approach , etc.  Generally speaking though it's best to have a T who does know about CPTSD.

2
General Discussion / MOVED: New Therapist
« on: February 20, 2020, 06:47:12 PM »
This topic has been moved to Therapy.

https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=13080.0

3
General Discussion / Re: Question About Schooling
« on: February 20, 2020, 05:06:20 PM »
Hi Marta and welcome to OOTS.   :grouphug:

I can well imagine what a struggle it must be to receive your education in a second language on top of having CPTSD. It's getting a bit late in the academic year but it might help to see if your school has some tutoring/extra assistance available because you're struggling. You may even want to explain why it's more than just dealing with a second language. 

Do you live on your own or with your parents? Are they the source of your trauma? (It would help for us to know a bit more about you.)

4
Frustrated? Set Backs? / Re: dealing with self hate toward vulnerable parts
« on: February 19, 2020, 05:45:15 PM »
My parents abandoned me too when I was ill Cynditk because they had NPD and my illness took attention away from them.

It's no wonder children of trauma develop negative associations about illness and then target ourselves. Just know you're not alone in this and maybe consider the fact that you are not at all responsible for this, you learned to respond in an unhealthy way like many of us.

One of our members wrote a blog article about her this if you want to have a look - https://www.outofthestorm.website/guest-bloggers?offset=1543767551651.

We can unlearn these responses through self-compassion, and care and support from others  :grouphug: 

 

5
Introductory Post / Re: New here
« on: February 19, 2020, 05:18:43 PM »
Hi FreedomFromTrauma and a warm welcome to OOTS! :heythere:  Glad you found your way here and I hope posting will bring a degree of relief from the intensity and frequency of your EFs, it did mine I'm happy to say.   :yes:    :thumbup:

6
SOT - Sense of Threat (eg Hypervigilance) / Re: Hypervigilance is Exhausting
« on: February 18, 2020, 07:22:03 PM »
I know hypervigilance is not funny, but this made me laugh I have to admit.  I have a strong startle response so sent it to my H and S:

https://www.sunnyskyz.com/happy-videos/8895/Someone-Added-Audio-To-A-Startled-Hamster-Video-And-We-Can-039-t-Stop-Laughing
 

7
Personality Disorder (Perpetrator) / Re: Article about Effects on Children of Narcissistic Parenting
« on: February 18, 2020, 06:11:43 PM »
Tks for the resources DDC! 

Still amazes me how many of us there are and that we seem to have escaped the attention of MH professionals for this long.  :'(   

8
Parenting (Children, Teens & Adult Children) / Re: Information about Parenting - Updated 16 Jul 2019
« on: February 17, 2020, 06:49:15 PM »
A few more resources I came across -- for parents on how to explain PTSD to their children:

How Parents With PTSD Can Talk to Their Children About Their Symptoms, C. Finch, 2019

Explaining PTSD to Children, Dr. Frank Ochberg

Explaining My Husband's PTSD to My Daughter, L. Farrow, 2016

Helping Children Cope with a Parent’s PTSD,  B. Moore, Psychology Today, 2012

9
Questions/Suggestions/Comments / MOVED: Medication & Starting over
« on: February 17, 2020, 05:35:45 PM »
This topic has been moved to Medication.

https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=13124.0

10
Having an Exceptionally Difficult Day / Re: Feel like a Jonah to my family - Poss Trigger
« on: February 16, 2020, 06:04:43 PM »
Just wanted to echo Phoebes that this is not your fault.  If your daughter is talking to you about what happened she is doing so because she knows you love her and she is safe. It's what most of us long(ed) for but never had so it doesn't sound like your trauma has overwhelmed her life. 

Two other thoughts I had - if you cry in front of her or let her see how angry this has made you, it shows her how much you care that she was hurt imo. If you turn the anger on yourself you won't be there for her. 

I also wondered if it might be possible that your daughter could re-take the course(s) and bring her GPA up?

 :grouphug:

11
New Members / Re: Just wanted to say "hello"
« on: February 16, 2020, 05:50:44 PM »
Hello and a warm welcome to OOTS sclarephae  :heythere:   Glad you found your way here and I hope the forum provides you with support, info and comfort.  :grouphug:   No more secrets!  :thumbup:

12
Building Protective Factors / Re: Feeling Depressed/Angry/Etc by World Events
« on: February 16, 2020, 05:10:26 PM »
 :thumbup:   :grouphug:

13
Depression / Re: afraid i'm sliding back down
« on: February 16, 2020, 05:07:44 PM »
 :grouphug:

14
RE - Re-experiencing the Past (eg Flashbacks, Triggers) / Re: Article on Triggers
« on: February 15, 2020, 06:54:36 PM »
It is a good article Notalone, I just shared it on Twitter too. Tks :thumbup:

15
Depression / Re: afraid i'm sliding back down
« on: February 15, 2020, 05:44:30 PM »
So sorry to hear you are going through this San  :hug:  :hug:  :hug:   

I was feeling the same way and one thing I did was stop watching the news.  I didn't realize just how much it makes me feel like there are no good people in the world, that I don't matter and as though I don't have any power/control in this world.

Now with space and time away from the onslaught I am beginning to feel better. I realize it's like being bombarded by my family of origin's NPD crazy, abusive behaviour. 

It's overwhelming, triggering, heart wrenching and frightening to hear via the news about the cruelty and lack of humanity daily, hourly.  My nervous system and heart just can't withstand it. 

Maybe this is true for you as well?

I just quoted this in another post but thought it might resonate with you as it did for me:

Start by giving yourself credit for what you are already doing. Did you grow up in an abusive family? Are you pouring time and energy into healing so that you can stop the cycle of abuse and interact in more positive ways? Each person who turns away from abusive patterns contributes to the overall health of the world. Your healing ripples out to help everyone you interact with.

May I just say that your wonderful, caring self ripples outward;  to me, to others here at OOTS and I'm certain to those in your life.  You make a positive difference in this world San :grouphug:

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