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Dating; Marriage/Divorce; In-Laws / Re: Do I or do I not tell him?
« on: June 06, 2020, 03:16:14 PM »
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General Discussion / Re: Childhood trauma triggered while developing relationship with kids
« on: June 05, 2020, 12:11:05 PM »
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Dating; Marriage/Divorce; In-Laws / Re: Do I or do I not tell him?
« on: June 03, 2020, 04:08:51 PM »
I like what Jazzy has said about sharing a little at a time if/when you decide to move forward with the relationship 
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General Discussion / Re: Childhood trauma triggered while developing relationship with kids
« on: June 02, 2020, 05:13:26 PM »Quote
It's got nothing to do with him or them, it's pure 'past coming up'. I'm lucky in that their mother knows and understands - she's a good friend. I have apologised to the children a few times over the years and reiterated that the way I reacted had nothing to do with them. They seem to take it in their stride. Their mother thinks they do too. I hope it's the case.
I quoted BB b/c I really do believe as parents/godparents we need to help our families understand it is NOT them, that we love them and try to do our best despite the symptoms we struggle with.
I know that if my parents had ever explained they behaved in certain ways at times because they had suffered trauma it would have meant it wasn't me and that would have mitigated a lot of the inevitable shame, worthlessness, feelings of defectiveness that I felt believing it was me.
A couple of resources that might help:
https://parentingwithptsd.wordpress.com/ - You thought you were “over it.” Then you had kids of your own, and your childhood abuse was being re-lived through flashbacks and panic attacks. You have been afraid to tell anyone, because you are so scared of what might happen. But you are not alone, and there is help.
https://www.motherhoodandmore.com/a-love-letter-to-the-cycle-breakers/ - Children don't need for parents to be perfect, they need to know they are loved and that you are trying.
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Dating; Marriage/Divorce; In-Laws / Re: Do I or do I not tell him?
« on: June 02, 2020, 04:53:50 PM »
I haven't had to deal with this Caoilainn but if it were me a few questions I would ask myself are:
Do I know him well enough to trust him with this information? (because no doubt you will want to explain how you developed it)
How will I react if he does not understand what is Complex PTSD and the symptoms I live with? (it can be hard to deal with if he invalidates, minimizes what you're dealing with)
How will I feel if he chooses not to carry on with the relationship because of my having Complex PTSD? (feeling rejected/abandoned are also hard to deal with so you need to be prepared).
Not to be a Debbie Downer, just trying to urge caution. It may be something to run by your T also.
Do I know him well enough to trust him with this information? (because no doubt you will want to explain how you developed it)
How will I react if he does not understand what is Complex PTSD and the symptoms I live with? (it can be hard to deal with if he invalidates, minimizes what you're dealing with)
How will I feel if he chooses not to carry on with the relationship because of my having Complex PTSD? (feeling rejected/abandoned are also hard to deal with so you need to be prepared).
Not to be a Debbie Downer, just trying to urge caution. It may be something to run by your T also.
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Discussion About Psychoactive Substances / Re: Psilocybin
« on: June 01, 2020, 05:32:58 PM »
Interesting article about psilocybin I came across today - Get Ready for Pharmaceutical-Grade Magic Mushroom Pills by S. Love, Vice, 27 May 2020.
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Discussion About Psychoactive Substances / Re: Information about Psychoactive Medication
« on: June 01, 2020, 05:32:09 PM »
Interesting article about psilocybin - Get Ready for Pharmaceutical-Grade Magic Mushroom Pills by S. Love, Vice, 27 May 2020.
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What is Complex PTSD? / Prevalence of CPTSD
« on: June 01, 2020, 03:12:04 PM »
I came across a 2019 research article when I was working on the CPTSD bibliography about the percentage of people in the USA with Complex PTSD and its an absolutely staggering number:
An estimated 3.8% which for the US population of 331,002,651 = 12,471,600
We all knew the numbers were high but it's still jaw dropping when you see an actual figure.
Reference: "ICD-11 PTSD and Complex PTSD in the United States: A population-based study" https://doi.org/10.1002/jts.22454.
An estimated 3.8% which for the US population of 331,002,651 = 12,471,600
We all knew the numbers were high but it's still jaw dropping when you see an actual figure.
Reference: "ICD-11 PTSD and Complex PTSD in the United States: A population-based study" https://doi.org/10.1002/jts.22454.
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Research & Advocacy / Re: Recruiting Participants from the US for a Research Study about Trauma & Emotions
« on: June 01, 2020, 02:58:24 PM »
Any research we participate in has the potential to help us down the road so tks TR and Bach
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General Discussion / Re: I want to hide
« on: May 31, 2020, 05:28:07 PM »
That sense of being pulled back is definitely common OceanStar. Pete Walker refers to them as emotional flashbacks when we 'regress' to a younger self and the feelings we had then.
There's also a saying among trauma survivors that captures this: "I'm not stuck in the past, the past is stuck in me." We have a lot of unprocessed trauma that is not integrated into our self, it's stuck if you will and that's where we go back to under stress/are triggered.
So perfectly normal for us and it really does take a lot out of you so hope you will take time to rest and let the effects subside. I used to feel like I was hungover and in fact found out I was in a sense from all the chemicals/hormones released into my body. Along with reducing stress and getting more rest, I would drink a lot of water to help flush them out.
Hope this helps.
There's also a saying among trauma survivors that captures this: "I'm not stuck in the past, the past is stuck in me." We have a lot of unprocessed trauma that is not integrated into our self, it's stuck if you will and that's where we go back to under stress/are triggered.
So perfectly normal for us and it really does take a lot out of you so hope you will take time to rest and let the effects subside. I used to feel like I was hungover and in fact found out I was in a sense from all the chemicals/hormones released into my body. Along with reducing stress and getting more rest, I would drink a lot of water to help flush them out.
Hope this helps.
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RE - Re-experiencing the Past (eg Flashbacks, Triggers) / Re: I'm triggering and confusing myself
« on: May 31, 2020, 05:20:56 PM »
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RE - Re-experiencing the Past (eg Flashbacks, Triggers) / Re: I'm triggering and confusing myself
« on: May 30, 2020, 03:34:20 PM »
Sorry to hear you are dealing with being triggered Contessa, but glad you chose to pop in here and talk about it. Knowing there are people here who get it and that you will be received, validated, comforted and supported can be an antidote to spiraling. I'm also glad it's starting to lift
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United Kingdom / Scotland - Resilience Learning Partnership
« on: May 29, 2020, 12:55:42 PM »
Resilience Learning Partnership is a:
...training and education provider, specialising in psychological trauma and lived experience. All our educators and trainers have lived experience, as well as the relevant professional experience to deliver such work. Where members do not have the professional skill set already, we work with them to develop those skills within a project format.
At Resilience Learning Partnership, we specialise in bringing the expertise and knowledge of people with Lived Experience into the training and development of staff within the public, third and private sectors. We do this by tapping into the unique understanding and resource people with Lived Experience bring to our work by feeding it directly into staff training and development.
...training and education provider, specialising in psychological trauma and lived experience. All our educators and trainers have lived experience, as well as the relevant professional experience to deliver such work. Where members do not have the professional skill set already, we work with them to develop those skills within a project format.
At Resilience Learning Partnership, we specialise in bringing the expertise and knowledge of people with Lived Experience into the training and development of staff within the public, third and private sectors. We do this by tapping into the unique understanding and resource people with Lived Experience bring to our work by feeding it directly into staff training and development.
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General Discussion / Re: I want to hide
« on: May 29, 2020, 12:02:28 PM »
I've found that I need space, a lot of it to figure out what I am feeling and why when I am going through an EF. I used to feel guilty or whatever for needing to but I came to see it as necessary, much like a diabetic needs insulin or someone with a broken leg needs to rest and elevate.
It makes sense that we need to feel safe during an EF because we are more vulnerable, but also to turn down the volume on additional stresses (people, sound, light, etc) so we have the energy to deal with it.
So FWIW I say hide away if you can and if/when you're up to it post here and/or talk to someone you trust to help process what triggered the EF.
It makes sense that we need to feel safe during an EF because we are more vulnerable, but also to turn down the volume on additional stresses (people, sound, light, etc) so we have the energy to deal with it.
So FWIW I say hide away if you can and if/when you're up to it post here and/or talk to someone you trust to help process what triggered the EF.
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Member Guidelines (PLEASE READ FIRST) / Re: Guideline Reminder: Giving and Receiving Advice
« on: May 29, 2020, 11:42:50 AM »
Just 'pinging' this as I've seen some posts leaning in the direction of advice giving. Instead please make suggestions, share your experiences, give your opinion but try to stay away from statements like "You should/should not _____________".
Thanks everyone!
Kizzie
Thanks everyone!
Kizzie