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Topics - Kizzie

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Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Three Good Things Today ... Part 6
« on: February 25, 2020, 07:05:30 PM »
We're at Part 6 - proof positive we do heal :yes:     :thumbup:   

Let us know what three good things happened in your life today. 

Mine today:

1.  I had a wonderful nurse (my H) to help me get thru the stomach flu/food poisoning I just had.
2.  I found a good GP and now have a referral to see a psychotherapist in our new location.
3.  Our son is coming home for Easter (normally only see him in the summer & at XMas).

Questions/Suggestions/Comments / MOVED: No-frills retreats?
« on: February 23, 2020, 05:42:53 PM »

The National Elf Service features podcast interviews with leading experts in mental health: researchers, clinicians, practitioners and experts.

Eg. Scroll down for interviews from the ISTSS 2019 International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies 35th Annual Meeting with CPTSD researchers/clinicians (Judith Herman, Julian Ford). 

General Discussion / MOVED: New Therapist
« on: February 20, 2020, 06:47:12 PM »

Questions/Suggestions/Comments / MOVED: Medication & Starting over
« on: February 17, 2020, 05:35:45 PM »

Announcements / Country Specific Resources
« on: February 14, 2020, 09:21:27 PM »
We are getting more members from more countries around the world so just wanted to remind members that we have a forum for country specific resources here -

If you'd like to add some resources for your country but don't want to reveal where you are from you can always PM me or email ( and I will be happy to add them for you.   :yes:

General Discussion / MOVED: propranalol and PTSD.. good news story
« on: February 13, 2020, 07:59:54 PM »

New blog article posted today about the healing power of community -  A special thanks to Moonbeam for allowing me to use one of her posts!  :hug:

Building Protective Factors / Feeling Depressed/Angry/Etc by World Events
« on: February 03, 2020, 07:59:02 PM »
I have been starting to feel a bit overwhelmed/angry/depressed/somewhat hopeless about so much of what is going on in the world at the moment, much like I did after Trump got into power in the US ( b/c of his NPD behaviour, not his politics). 

It just so happens that I subscribe to Sonia Connolly's newsletter and in my inbox today was this wonderful article titled "Mend What You Can Reach" at  Here's an excerpt:

World news is terrifying these days, from Brexit to wildfires in Australia to the latest assault on reproductive rights in the US. We feel overwhelmed by the need to respond, and helpless in the face of huge, distant disasters. We can reduce the strain on our nervous system by taking charge of our exposure to news, as well as finding ways to take action locally.

Key for me is "reduce the strain on our nervous system". Being a trauma survivor I have less distance and am more reactive to things that feel like they are out of my control. I must remain cognizant of this and put in place buffers & positives to balance and nourish my frayed nervous system.  I think Sonia offers some  good ideas for doing so.  :thumbup:

Hope this is of some help to any of you who re feeling similarly.  :grouphug:

What is Complex PTSD? / You Will be Found
« on: January 19, 2020, 06:08:22 PM »
If ever there was an anthem song for OOTS, this would be it -

You found us and we found you, welcome  :grouphug: 

Poetry & Creative Writing / MOVED: My F.
« on: January 15, 2020, 05:09:11 PM »

Introductory Post / MOVED: More about My Trauma (TW)
« on: January 13, 2020, 05:42:58 PM »

Yesterday I went to my 1st meeting with a Complex Trauma F2F group I found in my new location. It did not go well.

The person who formed the group talked about trauma for an hour, pontificated actually - one of many  red flags for me that he has covert NPD.  At one point he told us he is a recovering alcoholic, has two children who are completely messed up and that he would have checked all the boxes for NPD in the past. Would have?  He didn't seem to get that holding forth centre stage, saying things like MH professionals fear him because he doesn't charge $200/hr for what he passes on to survivors, commenting on whether what someone said was "good" or "right" or not the few times anyone got to speak, etc .....  is NPD behaviour.   

At one point he shared that he is developing a 12 step program for trauma so that MH professionals would not be able to attack/discredit the program (because 12 step programs are widely accepted).  To think that MH professionals would attack him to protect their livelihood is more centre of the universe N thinking. 

I get that many struggling with addiction find the 12 step programs helpful, but telling trauma survivors they must make amends to those whom they have hurt, nope, not on. Part of the reason we have CPTSD/RTR symptoms is because we accepted responsibility for what was done to us versus holding perpetrators accountable. There was only one other past member there (another red flag), a recovering addict who concurred and suggested we have to stop pointing our fingers at others and accept responsibility for our own behaviour. Heck no, point that finger, it's part of taking responsibility for our recovery imo.

And pressing members to hand things over to a higher power,  I very much want to let go of the trauma that lives in me but by working through it not letting it go which as many of us know, doesn't work very well. I don't know where this leaves those of us who don't believe in such things.  :Idunno:

He also talked about how all people suffer from trauma and we must connect in spirit to which I suggested I had spent 6 decades trying to connect with parents who have NPD and that it never happened and never will.  I am compassionate b/c they suffered a lot of trauma, so much so they developed NPD but it is their inability to self-reflect, to even see they have a problem that makes any kind of connection impossible and fraught with danger for me.

Anyway, not to go on, it was clearly not a healthy environment for survivors. What was/is deeply upsetting to me is that he is a wolf in sheep's clothing trying to build a following of vulnerable trauma survivors who will serve his need for attention and validation. I hope they listen to their guts. 

On a personal level I am still struggling to let go of the experience and probably will for a bit.  I so hate having any dealings with those with NPD and two in one week, overload  :pissed:  They're everywhere though I know so up to me to work on being less upset/angry and triggered. To be honest, I was/am upset with myself that I did react so strongly which tells me I have some more work to do on self-compassion.   

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