Messages

This could possibly being triggering so please keep that in mind.

I was thinking recently about something I remember as a child (around 4 or 5 is my first memory of it) and it would always terrify me, im very curious to see if anyone has had similar experiences as a child. I remember sometimes (usually when laying in bed to go to sleep) I would have this overwhelming thought wondering if I was real and if I existed then the room would start to feel very big and dark and it would terrify me. I usually could snap out of in within a few minutes. My depersonalization/derealization is a lot different and worse now but as a child I never knew what it was. Its crazy to realize I have probably been experiencing depersonalization/derealization since I was a small child. If anyone can relate id love to know. Thanks.

I recently have been trying to remember my childhood, im realizing my first real memory I have was around the age of 5 and thats still very foggy. My first memory that seems clear is probably around the age of 7. My parents didnt have any pictures of me as a baby or kid so i cant even look at pictures and try to remember. I dont feel like I ever existed back then. Im curious if anyone has similar feelings or experiences.

I can relate to this so much. I cant remember my past much, my whole life feels like a foggy distant dream or something. I can never remember details or really specific memories in my life or the timeline of when things happened, but i can feel emotions from certain parts of my life at times. My memory is also horrible. I read your post and started typing and then completely forgot what your post even said. I definitely think neglect and trauma has a huge effect on memory. Hope youre doing well!

I recently discovered I have cptsd and I don't know much about it. I am unsure of what the inner child is exactly i have read a few post but none of them really explain what it is. If someone could help me out that'd be great. Thanks.

My girlfriend and I recently broke up now. Things have not been very good at all since I was kicked out off our apartment and I dont really have anywhere to live now. My depersonalization is getting worse and I am not sure what I am going to do.

I have been with my gf for a little over a year now. Ive been really struggling with extreme depersonalization/derealization for a year now and recently realized i have cptsd. I am struggling with my relationship, i find that i am always someone that needs a relationship because i long to be loved and to feel real love. I am so confused on my feelings though, its so hard for me to connect with my gf or get close to her because 2 years ago or so i got my heart completely broken by a girl i loved/love so dearly. Everytime i attempt to get close to my current gf i dissoiate and have emotional flashbacks about my painful ex or past pain. I do love my gf but sometimes i am unsure i can heal or really find myself while being with her. I feel so stuck sometimes since i live with her and have no money or drivers license. I have no idea what to do everything just seems so confusing and hard.

Yeah exactly. I definitely feel like I'm in a movie while working or a very foggy dream. I cant work now due to that as well. Thanks for replying, its good to know im not alone. Ive always felt like something was wrong with me because i always feel so crappy especially when working.

I have always had such a hard time working and never knew why. I dissociate the whole time and always feel so physically and mentally sick and exhausted after only a few hours. I get very anxious and it feels like a dream. Working causes me so much discomfort and i was curious if this happens for anyone else?

Im new to this so im not sure where to start really. I recently discovered I am suffering from cptsd. I dont have many people in my life that understand or seem to care really. I feel extremely alone and im not sure how to live my life this way. I am constantly experiencing depersonalization/derealization and everyday is scary and hard. I just want someone to understand.