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Messages - Boatsetsailrose

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1
General Discussion / Time to let go... Cptsd or bpd
« on: October 20, 2019, 02:12:58 PM »
Oh how did I end up trying to disentangle myself fr another highly emotionally unstable person...
Ha I know because I needed to have this friendship to help me realise further :my strong boundaries, my self containment, my rights, my- I am not responsible for anyone else and just what a healthy friendship looks like.
I've long been the person who walks into a room and chooses the v person that I really shouldn't. I'm starting to see more clearly why and I'm starting to feel I have a choice.
The above said 'friend' has become much more unstable this past year. Before that I was seeing signs that weren't right for me ie lack of empathy, gas lighting, all or nothing behaviours, being projected on etc. This last Yr however even with putting in strong boundaries its not enough and I can see I've exhausted all possibilities and its time to end this relationship.
Now comes the question is the how to do it...
I am going to keep it short and direct, assertive, yet with a hint of kind.
This relationship is too emotionally charged and difficult and I need to walk away and end the relationship  .. (or words to that effect.. Anyone with experience in this area I'd be happy to hear.
My fear is of her gaslighting,
Exploding, interigating or worse doing something to herself...
Any wisdom in this please I'd like to hear

2
Introductory Post / Re: Hi
« on: October 19, 2019, 05:31:53 PM »
Welcome Nina..
Reading, sharing and processing have all helped me such a lot here...
Little by slow and sometimes fast

3
Therapy / Re: Therapy as a Senior
« on: October 14, 2019, 08:09:12 PM »
Somatic work sounds really hopeful..
I've read some interesting stuff on this abait briefly 'bessel v d k
I do theraputic dance space and that really helps me release beyond words..

4
Therapy / Re: Therapy as a Senior
« on: October 12, 2019, 06:24:08 PM »
Hi kizzie
Yes I hear you.. I find its getting clear on what I want to treat from the therapeutic model.. getting clear on this and exploring with the t how that can be realistically met.
Improving quality of life sounds a good goal.
I understand it can feel relentless working on self..
 Relationships are my biggest challenge but I finally feel I have a new found strength to work with this t in cognitive analytic relational therapy.
I wish u the best on this your grand finale therapy.. Be good to hear what you going to be doing and how it goes....

5
Welcome miss faye
You are a true survivor and I honour your courage and recovery journey..
Weve  come a long way.. To be here it seems most of us have walked a thousand million miles..
I too can get frustrated at my lack of consistency and motivation but when I look at the overall picture I'm doing just fine..
I do 12 step programmes.. The acoa programme is not just for adult children of alcoholics but anyone who comes from a dysfunctional family.. The meeting I go to it seems we all fit cptsd.. Its a really good fellowship with v good literature

6
Therapy / Re: CAT therapy
« on: October 05, 2019, 05:20:23 PM »
Cognitive analytic therapy

7
Introductory Post / Re: New to CPTSD
« on: October 05, 2019, 05:19:43 PM »
That should read 'I have a diagnosis from a psychiatrist'. I am in the UK

8
Therapy / CAT therapy
« on: October 04, 2019, 09:43:13 PM »
Hi all
I've just started CAT therapy with a psychologist..
It's extremely good and so is she...
Intense and confronting.. But feeling this could really help me with some further relational recovery

9
Introductory Post / Re: New to CPTSD
« on: October 04, 2019, 09:39:10 PM »
Hi wolfbane... I am I just the UK and got a diagnosis from psychiatrist...
How is it going for you?

10
Employment / Re: Decision
« on: September 11, 2019, 01:37:33 PM »
Hi blueberry
Oh yes I'm up there with avoidance and slow... But we do what we can on any given day hey given we live with a brain injury..
I'm not sure at present re trying it again.. I look after a little girl 1 day a wk and I love that and she is brilliant company.
The pre school would really give me the educational side of things so I can update my old training... But I can see I'm just drawing to the familiar of caretaking and control my 2 pulls... I was def repelled yest with how military the environment was.. Basically training our future generations how to conform to the system and it made me realise actually how much that doesn't fit with my value system anymore..
Next stop I'm looking at a volunteer position of 'creative learning assistant' I like the idea of helping out in the arts world..

Take it easy all...
Calmer days take wise choices hey...

11
Employment / Re: Decision
« on: September 10, 2019, 07:18:07 PM »
I hear you blueberry and others..
I started a 3hr voluntary shift at a pre school today... I feel so stressed out now my poor nervous system is activated ++
It was only half full with kids too..
Ah well I tried..

12
Sleep Issues / Re accruing dream continues...
« on: September 05, 2019, 02:03:38 PM »
Gee I get so bored on the re accruing dream...
I go back to the foo house... My m is there... Have to say though there is progress in the dream as it used to be I would be looking at her through the windows but petrified she would she me. Now my adult self has a f 2 f conversation.. I'm polite but don't let my boundaries go and she is self absorbed...
If it ever happens in real life I feel she would pretend to care but I know the truth behind that.
Bless her
I would like the dream to stop its been yrs now...


13
Can't seem to calm these days... Ongoing flashback?
Started with contact with my f and me telling him I've been referred to cfs clinic.. His response 'hope its not serious and then continued to talk about his holiday..
This isnt an unusual response for him but it really affected me.
I'm developing a calm down box so I'm pleased about that and it will be a good aid and comfort for me..

14
Hi sj
Thanks for your post and all the research and info..
I'm still awaiting the referral process..
Yes agree so many underlying issues present as cfs... I don't feel it stems from no where.
I'm due to see the medic tomor to talk about HRT as my estrogen is v low. A women I was speaking to said she was peri menopausal and had all the symptoms of cfs..
Glad to hear you have stable housing and can rest and have the security to heal further....
Best wishes to u
Boats

15
That's great j dog
Yes I am enough is a fabulous one
Good to hear u

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