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Messages - Boatsetsailrose

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16
Introductory Post / Re: Let's try again!
« on: April 20, 2020, 04:40:37 PM »
Welcome

17
Family of Origin (FOO) / Re: Went NC third time lucky
« on: April 20, 2020, 04:39:31 PM »
Thanks my people...
Would u be able to offer any reflections based on what I've said, with the knowledge and experience u have?
There is still a part of me that is like.. What I did was it just stupid? Ie telling my story to her.. I mean it doesn't feel stupid it feels right but be good to get an objective reflection from people who get it!
I guess for me time will tell. if I get bad repercussions either from m or family then that will be another thing to deal with.. But somehow I feel I'm ready to really stand up and be strong in my vocal responses if need be.. That family shame that I seem to have been carrying doesn't feel part of me anymore...
In fact I actually feel like I could cut the lot of them off if I need to...

18
Introductory Post / Re: Let's try again!
« on: April 19, 2020, 07:48:19 PM »
Hi shaun..
Glad u came... This forum has been a beacon of light, sanctuary and growth alongside my trauma therapy etc.
I really appreciate the safety I feel here and how well the admins keep it running so well.
When I first joined I lurked around reading and absorbing others experiences and recovery.
All is welcome.
I've never once had a response that has triggered me or felt not right. I've found everyone is respectful and kind.
I wish u well on this part of your journey and all the best.

19
Family of Origin (FOO) / Re: Went NC third time lucky
« on: April 19, 2020, 07:42:28 PM »
Thanks not alone...
Yes the sobbing was good today...
I have an inner parent and can be a friend to myself which hasn't by any stretch been the  case for much of my life.
I've gained I gained by standing  up and speaking my truth and some dark murkey corner of shame has lifted by doing it.
I have loose relationships with some of my family but have never spoken my truth.. I don't know what the future looks like but I'm not prepared to hide anymore. Now I've said it to Ubpd m I feel I can say it to anyone. People may question and I feel I can respond in a dignified and respectful way for me. I'm. Really growing and I'm proud

20
Family of Origin (FOO) / Went NC third time lucky
« on: April 19, 2020, 05:55:45 PM »
It's been a painful week... Turbulent.
I first went NC with Ubpd m 22 yrs ago and this was for 10yrs. I went back for a year and went NC for the 2nd time. 2 mths ago I made contact as I wanted to face m (this was done on the phone) and tell my story of what it was like for me back then done without blame and I was able to call out the abuse. I did this as I didn't feel I could lift a part of the shame until I heard myself speak it to her. I've done extensive trauma therapy and made the call genuinely not looking or needing any validation or apology.
I def felt and still feel a sense of liberation. What I didn't plan for was how well the call went after. We spent hours catching up, laughing etc etc.
I had 2 calls after that and things went down hill. Rapidly. I went go into the story but it was overwhelming and I got triggered quite badly.
After a hard week this wk speaking to others in recovery and praying today I made the decision to go nc.
I sobbed this morning really sobbed I wanted it to work.
I am glad I saw things clearly sooner rather than later and I'm glad I've made the decision and can focus on being kind to me and my continued healing..
Danger is not something I want to mess with...


21
Thanks slim for sharing
Wishing u well

22
Good to hear you bright light
Well wishes to u

23
Hi rain
Yes that's important isn't it the not being hard on self. I'm starting to have a bit more of that... Do get frustrated... To be expected
What condition do u have dear...

24
Announcements / Re: The Coronavirus Pandemic
« on: April 10, 2020, 07:40:29 PM »
Hi kizzie /everyone
Yep I've set up 5 mins yoga and 5 mins art a day... This way I mostly do it and often leads to more....
Giving me a sense of achievement and consistency.
Today's been a good day... More energy and did some gardening...
I hope this finds u well and to everyone to find the support they need

25
Hi all
Just wanted to post about the challenges of social isolation and cfs /fibromyalgia symptoms..
I mean covid or not my symptoms would be happening but I guess what I'm finding challenging is not having the energy to do as much stuff as I'd like...
Maybe doesn't help when I see Instagram /Facebook etc and people are jumping, dancing, singing, creating etc..
I can do bits of things and this is what I need to remember... Its not having the energy to go for a walk or bike which is frustrating.... Too much time in my head..
I seem to spend a lot of time in my mind thinking of all the things I want to do, used to do, it is all whirling around. I'm a creative type but get blocked although I am doing bits...
I guess it all boils down to the same ol same ol I'm not enough, I don't do enough blah blah...
I've just wrote lots of ideas in a journal and will work each day with a little plan and focus so I feel good..
Anyone got any tips experiences on finding it hard to focus, stay with a project, progress in hobbies?
Anyone else with physical health challenges?

26
Announcements / Re: The Coronavirus Pandemic
« on: April 08, 2020, 05:17:15 PM »
Hi all how is everyone doing?
Just wanted to report from the UK
Hi all
Just wanted to post about the challenges of social isolation and cfs /fibromyalgia symptoms..
I mean covid or not my symptoms would be happening but I guess what I'm finding challenging is not having the energy to do as much stuff as I'd like...
Maybe doesn't help when I see Instagram /Facebook etc and people are jumping, dancing, singing, creating etc..
I can do bits of things and this is what I need to remember... Its not having the energy to go for a walk or bike which is frustrating.... Too much time in my head..
I seem to spend a lot of time in my mind thinking of all the things I want to do, used to do, it is all whirling around. I'm a creative type but get blocked although I am doing bits...
I guess it all boils down to the same ol same ol I'm not enough, I don't do enough blah blah...
I've just wrote lots of ideas in a journal and will work each day with a little plan and focus so I feel good..
Anyone got any tips experiences on finding it hard to focus, stay with a project, progress in hobbies?
Anyone else with physical health challenges?

27
Hi all
Just wanted to post about the challenges of social isolation and cfs /fibromyalgia symptoms..
I mean covid or not my symptoms would be happening but I guess what I'm finding challenging is not having the energy to do as much stuff as I'd like...
Maybe doesn't help when I see Instagram /Facebook etc and people are jumping, dancing, singing, creating etc..
I can do bits of things and this is what I need to remember... Its not having the energy to go for a walk or bike which is frustrating.... Too much time in my head..
I seem to spend a lot of time in my mind thinking of all the things I want to do, used to do, it is all whirling around. I'm a creative type but get blocked although I am doing bits...
I guess it all boils down to the same ol same ol I'm not enough, I don't do enough blah blah...
I've just wrote lots of ideas in a journal and will work each day with a little plan and focus so I feel good..
Anyone got any tips experiences on finding it hard to focus, stay with a project, progress in hobbies?
Anyone else with physical health challenges?

28
General Discussion / Public declaration to self
« on: April 02, 2020, 12:16:17 PM »
God I'm sick of needy people.... Sick sick sick of them....
But the great thing is I let them be like that,,, its my neediness..
My controlling, caring, over absorbsion in other people, kindness etc,, feeling responsible all plays out in my interactions...
I Am Changing!

Move over empathic come on in think about yourself,, be your own caretaker, focus on you, cut away the shackles....
Let adults be responsible for themselves, don't give them any answer s stop fixing....

Be free

29
Hi eyes so blue...
I started taking HRT for menopause and it has def helped brain fog and memory but not the fatigue

30
Introductory Post / Re: Hello
« on: March 29, 2020, 04:34:07 PM »
Hi froggy welcome... This forum has been and continues to be a huge support for me. Glad u are here and wishing u all the best on the next phase of your recovery

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