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Messages - Boatsetsailrose

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Introductory Post / Re: Introduction today
« on: June 29, 2019, 06:34:40 PM »
Hi Bix great you are here..
This forum has been so validating for me and a safe place to share..
Yep intense symptoms are something I've experienced a lot and to be able to share and have others identify is so helpful.
Best wishes on the next phase of your recovery journey

General Discussion / Annual gratitude time
« on: June 29, 2019, 06:31:53 PM »
Each year I like to write a post to express my deep gratitude for this forum and everyone here..
I've been a member for some years now and it blows me away how much I've grown despite some really difficult periods..
Everyone here has really helped me this last year to feel held, safe and sane when I feel anything but...
The admins do such a wonderful job and Kizzie is a super star in my eyes.
I never realised before I started using out of the storm just how a forum could benefit me and I help others. I always recommend forums now to people and how much I value this space.
So sending all my best wishes to everyone here and creating this place that feels like home.

General Discussion / Re: Thank you
« on: June 29, 2019, 06:25:27 PM »
Hi gromit... Thanks for sharing..
I hear you..
I'm just on step 9 and after 5 I had a thought maybe I could be in the same room as my m... This was a surprise as my anger was big b4 despite yrs of therapy...
For me I see it that when some of the resentment shifts and the spiritual experience commences there is growth and so I now have some further healing which has happened and space as you describe in my head. For me I'd be insane to start any communication with m and so it remains the same. Safety first. That what I love in recovery nothing needs to be rushed and time and sharing with others can show correct ways to proceed or not :)
Best wishes

Hi oscen thank you for sharing..
Yes our m attitudes to body can so effect our own attitudes. I have now a year abstinence from using the food and am so grateful.
You sound like u have a lot of awareness and can see the ideas are not yours...
For me the weight has always been an illusion for control... Now I'm where I am I can see its not about the weight but developing the sense of control over my emotional and mental world.
Do u work with a therapist around this stuff?

Therapy / Re: Emdr not clinically indicated for cptsd?
« on: June 24, 2019, 09:09:29 PM »
What a positive post surviving...
Thank u for sharing.. I'm real pleased its had such a good outcome for u

General Discussion / Re: At a loss
« on: June 24, 2019, 09:06:02 PM »
Zeek, I've learnt I can come and be how I am here with no judgement..
Relationships can be difficult and putting my needs before a partners has not always been easy for me...
Sending u all best wishes rest well

Friends / Re: Let go of a long term 'friend' today
« on: June 22, 2019, 06:50:59 PM »
Lovely Tee... Yes I found that too as I've found more of my own power the issues ramped up...

Friends / Re: Let go of a long term 'friend' today
« on: June 21, 2019, 09:05:18 PM »
Thanks tee for sharing.... Yes deserving friends who support me is right where I am at at the mo. Not in an angry way but more in a self. Respecting way and that feels good

Friends / Re: Let go of a long term 'friend' today
« on: June 21, 2019, 08:33:40 AM »
Thanks contessa indeed.... When I got back with this person some 15yrs ago I was drinking.. I'm not the same now I'm 9yrs sober... All things change hey..
It's another letting go of the younger me I think that's the bit... She knew me since I was 16 yrs it's a looog time ago..
I'm sending her prayers and wishing her well.. She has a complex inner and outer world..
Deeper in the forest is a beautiful place to be.
Sending you best wishes for this day contessa

General Discussion / Re: Emotional swings....
« on: June 20, 2019, 07:44:09 PM »
Hi moon beam
'beginning to believe I deserve to feel good and that's made a huge difference. We're not in this alone anymore'
Fabulous, yes I can relate moonbeam the deserving and that I'm good enough what ever the weather

General Discussion / Re: Emotional swings....
« on: June 20, 2019, 07:41:52 PM »
I hear your three roses

General Discussion / Re: Emotional swings....
« on: June 20, 2019, 08:57:50 AM »
Thank you jdog for your lovely and kind reply... Yes  to be gentle with myself a really nice reminder.. There has been a lot going on emotionally and to acknowledge that and allow the space is right where I am..
Sending you best wishes it all passes like clouds in the wind hey... The sun will shine again

General Discussion / Emotional swings....
« on: June 19, 2019, 09:06:31 PM »
Sometimes I think to myself do I have bi polar 2.. Two  weeks ago  I was on top of the world everything was rosy... Elevated in emotion.. Wanting to socialise ++ this week its like I'm a different person.. Low mood and motivation, hate my life, bleak Outlook feeling lonely.. Etc.

It does seem my circumstances dictate ie I was away and now I'm home and a bit lost. Its just my emotional life seems so extreme.. Maybe it's just normal maybe I'm reading into it too much? I wonder how normal people experience emotion.
Maybe it's I get scared when I feel. Dispondent

Hi eco
I know these times when there is just so much going on the overwhelm and EF is too much.... Because it is..!
Re being bullied is there any higher level person u can go to to report this?
Is it poss to take a bit of time of work?
I know for me in the past I've needed to take much time off to survive.. But I was fortunate that I got paid for it.
It's so important that recovery and health come before any job.. That's been my experience.
Taking time to self care and really attend to my needs

General Discussion / CAT therapy
« on: June 18, 2019, 07:18:24 PM »
So after assessment with the psychologist we have agreed that CAT therapy (cognitive analytical therapy) is the option I am going to take to work on the relational stuff. She explained that the model used is looking at how I was related to as a child and then working with the current difficulties to promote change.
I feel v grateful to have this offered to me and it def feels right for  the next bit of my recovery journey...
I so want some further recovery in who I am pulled to have a friendship with and to be able to develop relationships with healthier people, people who have the capacity to care about me as I care about them..
I so want to be more connected with people in my life on a closer level..

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