Messages

Feeling down.

This is very difficult.   

I know a little about a lot of things - and that can be useful.
I am loyal.
I am caring to others.
I have tremendous love for my children.
I can cook with the herbs from my potted herb garden.

This was VERY hard.    I don't think I like myself.  I think I'm depressed.   Thank you for this post.    I will keep working on me.

Hi - coming into this post late, as I'm new to the forum but I'm curious if you would like to share how your move went/is going?
Thinking of you.  C

Hi Dee, Thank you for your response.  I appreciate the support.  Therapy has helped me too.  I saw my therapist again today and she said NOW we are starting Therapy - the last year was me just "keeping my head above the waves".   That's good news!

And SanMagic thank you for your words too.  I see that you have followed a lot of the same kinds of paths as me (school career, writing) - strong..... etc. I agree.  Knowing what it is is helping me.

I was able to recognize 3 x in the last week some EF.  I would have never connected the dots before.  Blessings to all.

You are very brave.

Thank you for your very honest post.  I know it's true.    I believe you.
C

Hi Gregory,
I'm new here too.  A lot of what you said totally resonates with me too.  I'm glad you posted.  It makes me realize there are others other there that have
some of the same feelings as me.

I've been seeing a therapist for a year due to divorce sadness, etc.  I knew my relationship was abusive, and I just fell apart inside when it ended.   My ex-partner had Bi-Polar and severe PTSD and so all along I helped her and co-existed, walking on egg shells, thinking her behavior to me was normal.  It took me a few months into therapy to realize she was abusive to me, and that I also had "issues" (figure that).   All along we had talked about adjustment disorder - but now the therapist told me I have C-PTSD.   I came home and read everything I can get my hands on, and the scary thing is, all the symptoms "fit".  I'm so confused.   I am able to manage my business, be a single mom, and keep things going well - I don't feel "crazy" and most people wouldn't think I'm odd or strange.

  I don't WANT to have a diagnosis of C-PTSD.   I think it makes me feel broken.  Or something.    The only thing I know I have been diagnosed with in the past is Generalized Anxiety Disorder (which I figured was no big deal), and Situational Depression (after my child unexpectedly passed away....) and I could write that one off as "understandable too".   But C-PSTD seems like a BIG DEAL and it makes me a little scared.   

Any words of wisdom, or any words at all of response are appreciated.  Thank you for your time in reading my post.