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Messages - purplegiraffe

#16
Physical Abuse / physical abuse? (trigger warning)
July 19, 2017, 01:59:38 AM
Trying to come to terms with seeing something which I may have been physical abuse, although a T denied that it was. 

Someone being overpowered again and again in a rough and tumble game. 
#17
Emotional Abuse / Re: 'blanking'
July 19, 2017, 01:33:32 AM
Thanks for your replies Lingurine and Blueberry.

From what I experienced I don't think it was to do with being introverted. 

I guess the most noticeable way of blanking that I've been aware of is blanking with a stare - like staring through you or through space and not answering a question or responding to a point made.
#18
General Discussion / Re: how to recover
July 19, 2017, 01:29:02 AM
Quote from: Blueberry on July 17, 2017, 10:34:24 PM
Quote from: purplegiraffe on July 17, 2017, 04:18:38 PM
I am not sure how to build the skills to hold down employment without risking a breakdown.  Has anyone been in this situation or is able to offer any thoughts?

I have been in that sort of situation. Financially I'm lucky because I get a small disability pension and at some point I decided to accept money from my family-of-origin despite the fact that the traumatisations were committed by them.

However for about 4 years I could not work at all. I really mean 'not at all'. Then I started slowly doing an hour here and there per week. After about 7 years I was able to start again in the profession I learned in, but very slowly. I was lucky that an old professional contact was able and willing to allow me the time I needed to finish projects since I could work only 1-2 hours per day. That fizzled out at some point and I started in a related field, again an hour or two a week. Now I'm doing it maybe 10 hours a week. Some people have asked why I don't do something 'easier'. One reason is that 'easier' jobs aren't necessarily easier for me. In fact recently I noticed quite the opposite. The other reason is: no way do I have the energy and stamina to do a prolonged course in learning any other type of work.

I have done some sporadic training, half-day, full-day to improve some skills. I did a few MOOC (M=? Open Online Courses) too.  They're often free, don't give you any kind of college credit but possibly some knowledge or skills. Teh ones I did were all much, much less work than any college course I've ever done, so not overwhelming for me.

You could also try LETS groups (Local Exchange Trading Societies) where you exchange help with other people based on a time scheme. If there's a group in your area where some member offers instruction in some skills you'd like to learn and you can offer 'anything' in exchange. I was in once such group for a long time, it was definitely a money-saver for me. I also did some of my professional work there before doing it for pay again.

I've had to learn to be patient with and forgiving of myself. It's not an easy situation to be in, not able to function in the working world. I've also had to learn that my health needs have priority. Without some degree of stability and emotional health, everything falls apart.

I hope some of this might be useful for you.

hi Blueberry, thanks very much for posting to share what helped.  I found it a helpful point to consider that it could be difficult to retrain and learn another kind of work whilst dealing with c-ptsd.   Thanks for mentioning about MOOC and LETS. 
#19
Emotional Abuse / 'blanking'
July 18, 2017, 08:37:05 PM
Have other people experienced this?  Asking something or saying something then being 'blanked' with no acknowledgement , texting and then waiting hours or a day(s) for a reply?  always texting replies when you've tried to ring them?  and when you ask if something is wrong they never admit that there is anything wrong. 
#20
General Discussion / Re: how to recover
July 17, 2017, 06:12:39 PM
Just wanted to say thanks Three Roses - its really appreciated. 
#21
General Discussion / how to recover
July 17, 2017, 04:18:38 PM
I'm fairly new to this topic.  Its a bit complicated.  Essentially I have c-ptsd but it wasn't recognised for over 20 years by the mental health services I was seeing, despite me explaining I had been emotionally neglected and emotionally abused etc.  I was given numerous life- shortening drugs which I am only just beginning to get off.  It still isn't recognised by the pdoc I see and I'm in a vulnerable position because my welfare payments are dependent on the diagnosis and I find it difficult to keep to regular activities, never mind employment which I haven't been in for an extremely long time - but two independent therapists have confirmed that I have c-ptsd and the drugs I was given can cause psychosis and I didn't have that before I went on them.   I do not have the support of my parents for therapy.  I just about manage day to day life - which is probably depression. 

I am not sure how to build the skills to hold down employment without risking a breakdown.  Has anyone been in this situation or is able to offer any thoughts?

(edited:  to be more concise)


 
#22
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: hello, new
July 16, 2017, 08:44:55 PM
Thanks very much for welcoming me here.  Hope to get to know you better on the forum. 
#23
Please Introduce Yourself Here / hello, new
July 16, 2017, 03:47:37 PM
Hello, I was recommended to come to this site by your sister site Out of the Fog. 

Hoping to learn more about recovery from C-PTSD and meet like-minded people seeking recovery skills and insight into this.  Was diagnosed with a mental illness many years ago, but two therapists have thought its C-PTSD due to emotional abuse and emotional neglect and for the first time in many years, I began to feel a bit better after one therapist told me about some exercises she thought I'd find useful.