Menu

Show posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Show posts Menu

Messages - globetrotter

#16
General Discussion / Re: Feeling Lonely
November 06, 2014, 04:50:48 PM
Lots of layers, indeed!

"Also, I realized that most people felt a little uncomfortable around me because they could sense I was "not okay" i.e. it wasn't "me" that wasn't compelling enough, but my inner "not okayness" (that I did my best to mask) and as I calmed that down people would feel more comfortable around me. "   This is very familiar.

I puzzle myself, as I roll along just dandy, then *bang* out of the blue, something/one makes me feel wonky, for why, I do not know. I have wondered if there is something going on subliminally that is triggering me (voice, smell, the color red???) Or, maybe not!

Thank you for taking the time to spell out all of these steps. It is no small task!

#17
General Discussion / Re: Feeling Lonely
November 05, 2014, 06:20:07 PM
Rr...how did you beat SA? I had severe SA as a kid, am about 80% there now.
I work on it by pushing myself into uncomfortable situations. Sometimes I fail, most times I advance.
I am interested in your "cure".
Thanks!
#18
Hi, Des:
Two things I have used to help me stay steady are as follows:
1) Focus on my feet on the ground - the act of feeling grounded - getting back in my body instead of in my head. I have tried this exercise on an average day and find that I LIVE in my head. It takes an effort to be conscious of how your feet connect to the earth and takes our minds off of our minds.
2) Breathing. Focusing on breathing. Three deep breaths can be very calming. Circular breathing, or meditative breathing, focusing on the movement of the breath in and out of the body can be soothing and regulate the heart beat, shifting focus.
It helps to practice both of these when you are already calm simply as practice.
Best to you.
#19
Inner Child Work / Re: Fear of IC Work
November 05, 2014, 04:19:01 AM
It took me almost a year.to get.past Thursday morning anxiety attacks hours before therapy. Now I just.feel extreme discomfort waiting for her to answer.the door. (Ha) I think we reach a comfort level when we realize we go there and grow there. It takes some time.to.settle in talking about what we were required to stuff. It feels.like someone will jump from behind the couch and accuse of betrayal.for.tapping into.Pandora's box.
#20
General Discussion / Re: Feeling Lonely
October 30, 2014, 10:21:39 PM
Small steps, indeed - I believe that we advance when we set our selves up for causes for celebration!

I recently took a four session writing class, because it was a non-sharing class. I am glad it was only four weeks, because by the end, there was a LOT of pressure to share! But for me, it was a huge stretch simply to go. A reason to celebrate. Inspiration for the next step. I went, I didn't embarrass myself, I did not spontaneously combust. I did not get past my SA and felt very intimidated at times, but I learned some things.

I didn't make any friends because I am not outgoing around strangers, but there was something rewarding simply being around creative energy. I believe around the right people, we can gain something even if we choose not to say a word.

#21
General Discussion / Re: Feeling Lonely
October 29, 2014, 06:18:07 PM
Rrecovery:
I remember that I felt this way. I was single for a very long time. It is a dark ache.

My suggestion is to get out, go out. CPTSD does not define us. It is but one part of us. Once we meet folks we can trust, it's easier to let the story of our struggles leak slowly out. I've also found allies - most folks launch from dysfunctional unfortunately. Some never hear the story. There are several levels of trust and friendship. Some folks never advance that deeply with me.
I do not know where you are, but have you heard of meetup.com? They have groups for every kind of interest.  Just one suggestion.
#22
Therapy / Re: Theraputic Approaches - Descriptions
October 28, 2014, 08:10:02 PM
We've only done it two or three times and she guided the imagery to a different potential outcome than what actually happened.
We practice what I call' All Over The Map' Therapy.  :bigwink: Some of this, some of that...
I thought it a form of Inner Child work combined with some of the Somatic Experiencing work. I didn't realize it has a different name. Reading now I see where the intent is to introduce some desensitization to the event.
Honestly, Sweet, sometimes I am so dissociated in therapy, I'm not sure what sinks in and what does not. We're working on that, too.
#23
Therapy / Re: Theraputic Approaches - Descriptions
October 28, 2014, 04:55:17 PM
We have done something like that in addressing old memories by introducing a trusted person from my childhood in a 'rescue' sort of scenario, interacting with soothing words toward me. Is that what you mean?

#24
General Discussion / Re: More on being alone
October 28, 2014, 03:05:35 PM
Not at all, Cat!! Thank you for your concern.
#25
General Discussion / Re: More on being alone
October 27, 2014, 04:24:12 PM
Wow! Major blast from the past. The Laundry List!

Posting it here:
http://www.adultchildren.org/lit/Laundry_List.php

The ACoA meetings I went to were 30 years ago, but a great introduction to finding peers and realizing that I wasn't a freak for feeling the way that I did. Looking over this list again after all of these years was very revealing. Thank you for reminding me! Some traits I've left in the dust, some are hanging on. #8 is still my favorite. At least I choose healthier options now!
#26
Welcome Babysteps. I like your signature line!

#27
General Discussion / Re: More on being alone
October 26, 2014, 09:23:26 PM
Hey Kizzie...I know my grandmother was frustrated by my mother's drinking. I don't remember conversations between them. I attempted to tell my mother how embarrassing it was to have friends over and I dealt.with vile backlash for my words. As an adult my sis tried to explain that drinking caused the depression when mom.said she.drank because she was depressed...but I think the depression may have been passed down from my great grandmother. Either way in addition to valium addiction she wasn't present much of the time.

I appreciate what you wrote about ACoA and how their message isn't the best band aid.
#28
This has me thinking about a deeper level email to my sis. She thinks she's fixed from ACoA counseling 30  years ago...nawt! ! Pete's book may be an excellent surprise gift.
#29
General Discussion / Re: inability to feel anger
October 24, 2014, 07:25:02 PM
Quote from: schrödinger's cat on October 19, 2014, 09:23:38 PM
I got more in touch with my anger recently, via advice I found in a text dealing with CEN (childhood emotional neglect). It talked about how CEN makes us unable to feel anything. The advice they gave was to start a "feelings diary" - to jot down three times a day how you're feeling at that moment.

This is an excellent idea, thank you for sharing.

I do a fine job at feeling happy and mad. 

However, the only time I feel sad, I think, is during an EF or in therapy. I never cry, fight sadness tooth and nail, and stuff it down as quickly as it arises. I haven't truly cried since my mother died 12 years ago. I even fight it in therapy...that and FEAR. I have plenty of repressed fear...forever dodging vulnerability...siggghh...T and I have been talking about fear and connection lately. I need to get my emotional hooks into that one.
#30
General Discussion / Re: More on being alone
October 24, 2014, 07:10:45 PM
Thank you for the poem. I understand some traits are inherited or passed down sometimes. I grew up next door to my grandparents and am not sure how my mother turned out the way that she did. They were kind, non-drinkers and well liked from what I saw and provided me a steady keel. (thank goodness!) Mom must have inherited a rogue gene. Perhaps my father drug her astray.

I am always glad when I see that a friend has determinedly made things different for their children vs repeating the pattern.