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Topics - SAL27

#1
Medication / Beta blockers and health concerns
June 27, 2018, 11:16:51 AM
Hello everyone,

I'd love some advice...

Basically I have terrible anxiety which means that often in public or social situations my hands are shaking uncontrollably, my heart is pounding, and my vision goes black. Doing anything outside my home is so exhausting and takes it out of me! In a practical sense, this meant that I couldn't get a job that involved being around other people. But then I discovered propranolol/ beta blockers.

And they stop me from shaking, which is so wonderful! I can't tell you how many times my main fear entering a social situation is that I'll shake. Now I can know for a fact that I won't, because I physically can't, and it makes it soooo much easier. I've tried anti-depressants in the past and I hated them. I've tried so many supplements, homeopathy etc with no results, so the beta blockers are a perfect solution. They don't help the internal anxiet,y but at least I can actually do more things.

Therefore, recently I got a part time job in a pub as I need a bit more income, and I can do a shift without having a panic attack. But it does mean now that I have to take beta blockers three times a week, or more if I have other things going on. I'm concerned about the long term health implications of using something which impacts your heart rate and blood pressure.

What didn't help was that the doctors I've seen about it have been useless: one doctor told me that they would give me seizures and would probably kill me (-thanks, really good grasp on how to handle patients with crippling life-long anxiety-) , another told me I can take literally ten times the dose every day and I'll be absolutely fine. Another one told me they are not ideal as long term could give me low blood pressure.

So I'd love the opinion of anyone who has been on them long term. How often do other people here take them? Being an anxious person obviously means that if I'm taking something I think is bad for me then I'm going to fixate on whether my blood pressure is too low etc (even though I know I'm young and healthy, and have never had any issues). Although they have genuinely been a blessing, maybe I shouldn't get too used to them if I'm going to make myself ill...

Much love

xx
#2

Having been in therapy for ten years, on my seventh therapist, she has deduced from various signals that I was molested as a young child (3-4 years old), by my best friend of the same age, and her father.

I have clear memories of my friend molesting me, but don't exactly feel traumatised by them. I do feel that there is a 'door' I'm unable to to open, and as if I was witness to a terrible event like a murder. We are currently using hypnotherapy to explore the past, and I'm hoping I can get concrete enough memories to go to the police.

I'm sure many other people can relate, but I have an incessant push and pull between belief and denial. Half the time I think I've made it all up and it can't be true; that I'm being attention-seeking and dramatic. My therapist (and also my very rational boyfriend who has listened to all the evidence) both tell me it sounds very likely to be true. But I just can't believe it, and generally can't connect with it as an absolute truth. I have other moments where I feel like I've always known it.

But this is the problem- yesterday I went to see a psychiatrist to discuss medication options, and of course I had to bring up this relevant stuff in a C-PTSD context. At the end he told me he thought that the repressed/recovered memories from therapy were 'probably made up', and that the abuse never happened. This was from talking to me for one hour, where I barely went into details about what the 'evidence' was.

When, inevitably, survivors are fraught with denial and self-blame, I was very surprised he was so quick to accuse me of making it up (unconsciously). This is in stark contrast to my therapist who I have been seeing twice a week for the last year, who seems very certain it is true.

I don't know if the world of psychiatric treatment is extremely flawed, but these mixed messages are very damaging. Now I have no idea who to trust, and feel closed off to any internal exploration, as I feel embarrassed if there is even a possibility I've just been very suggestible, and made it all up.

What do people think about these kinds of professional divides? Has anyone had experience with being shut down like that?
#3
Hello! I'm wondering if anyone has advice about anxiety medication or treatment. I have tried many different methods, and I am still looking.

It started when I was eight years old and has been an intensively difficult and enduring part of my life since then, for the past eighteen years. I'm 26 now, but I feel like I'm 80. I have seen six different therapists over the years; psychologists, analysts, CBT therapists, trauma specialists etc. I got the C-PTSD diagnosis last year and recently OCD. I tried anti-depressants (Citalopram) for a couple of years and the side affects were horrible (feeling dead inside, constantly exhausted and ruining my sex life!). I've tried homeopathy for a year and it has barely made any difference; my homeopath tells me that in 20 years of treating anxiety she has never met someone so difficult to treat. I've tried all kinds of daily supplements; omega 3, probiotics, vitamin b complex, l-theanine and lemon balm, protein powder. I live off Emergency Essence. I've tried eating all the anti-anxiety food, avoiding the bad ones. I've tried acupuncture; yoga; jogging; mindfulness; breathing. I've mostly been trying to do it naturally, but none of this works for me. Sadly, the only thing that helps me is alcohol, and this has inevitably lead to an unhealthy dependance.

The other day I had a nerve-wracking event to attend (an award ceremony). Because of my anxiety this meant a fun occasion was fraught with misery for me- before, during and after. After acupuncture the day before, a run that day, a high protein lunch, various homeopathic remedies, it wasn't until six alcoholic drinks later that my heart stopped pounding and my hands stopped shaking. Upon reflection, I can't go on using alcohol to control my fear, and the natural options simply aren't working for me. My anxiety is profound, and I need something potent to take away the pain.

Can anybody recommend me some medication that might help me live without being plagued with terror, but without taking away other pleasures in life?

Thank you for reading xx