Rowan,
I'm as uneducated as one can be, and still have even the tiniest bit of knowledge in this vast areana of trauma and the life long effects of it.
Since all of my memories were repressed until last year, I only knew I had been through something, as I began developing ptsd in 1994...and have lived with it ever since. I know now that it is CPTSD. And I also know why. All those memories are a mind blowing collection of one horrible trauma after another after another after another....
It's very hard to feel EFs to something that isn't real or didn't actually happen. Not onnly that, our minds in their vast wonderfulness, have a capacity for storage that defies all logic and discription. Unfortunately for most trauma survivors, we just don't have access to most of that stored away stuff. Some is "lost" forever...in our brains. However, that being said, our bodies are completely different....muscle memories...like remembering how to ride a bike after many years of not riding. In that, our bodies remember trauma that our minds have forgotten or even couldn't rmember because of how traumatizing it was.
If you feel something....don't poke and prod...be gentle and let it have it's space. It will come to you, and if you aren't as patient as some...seek help with trauma trained professionals. Digging into our own pasts, in this specific areana, on our own can be disasterous, leading to being retraumatized, quite frequently even more traumatized than the original event.
Trust your gut....would it bother you so much if it really were nothing? No, not really...therefor....it must be something. Occam's Razor helps out, here, the simplest way to the truth is always best. Not too many turns to get lost in. Nobody can tell you what you feel or how you feel it. For many years I suffered painful body memories...I mean dizzying, nauseating, mind searing painful....without ever even knowing what it was. I was far too afraid to go to dr for checkup, thinking I had colon cancer or something else in that body region. Was greatly releaved that protstate exam cleared any concerns about the cancer worry. However...it was a doulble edged sword....dr saw "extensive scarring" his words....questioned me on possibilites of having been sa/r. Told him no way in He**! But totally freaked me out. This was about 4 years before my memories actually started returning. But took many months beyond that point before I even remembered that exam.
Sorry....dissociated for a bit...back now....I think.....
You made an excellent point to your very own mystery question..."were very baddly triggered"...I don't think one can be triggered by from something that isn't there, that didn't happen, that is false, fake, or pretend. Some part of our whole being knows the truth...hence the trigger effect. Safe
if okay.
I'm as uneducated as one can be, and still have even the tiniest bit of knowledge in this vast areana of trauma and the life long effects of it.
Since all of my memories were repressed until last year, I only knew I had been through something, as I began developing ptsd in 1994...and have lived with it ever since. I know now that it is CPTSD. And I also know why. All those memories are a mind blowing collection of one horrible trauma after another after another after another....
It's very hard to feel EFs to something that isn't real or didn't actually happen. Not onnly that, our minds in their vast wonderfulness, have a capacity for storage that defies all logic and discription. Unfortunately for most trauma survivors, we just don't have access to most of that stored away stuff. Some is "lost" forever...in our brains. However, that being said, our bodies are completely different....muscle memories...like remembering how to ride a bike after many years of not riding. In that, our bodies remember trauma that our minds have forgotten or even couldn't rmember because of how traumatizing it was.
If you feel something....don't poke and prod...be gentle and let it have it's space. It will come to you, and if you aren't as patient as some...seek help with trauma trained professionals. Digging into our own pasts, in this specific areana, on our own can be disasterous, leading to being retraumatized, quite frequently even more traumatized than the original event.
Trust your gut....would it bother you so much if it really were nothing? No, not really...therefor....it must be something. Occam's Razor helps out, here, the simplest way to the truth is always best. Not too many turns to get lost in. Nobody can tell you what you feel or how you feel it. For many years I suffered painful body memories...I mean dizzying, nauseating, mind searing painful....without ever even knowing what it was. I was far too afraid to go to dr for checkup, thinking I had colon cancer or something else in that body region. Was greatly releaved that protstate exam cleared any concerns about the cancer worry. However...it was a doulble edged sword....dr saw "extensive scarring" his words....questioned me on possibilites of having been sa/r. Told him no way in He**! But totally freaked me out. This was about 4 years before my memories actually started returning. But took many months beyond that point before I even remembered that exam.
Sorry....dissociated for a bit...back now....I think.....
You made an excellent point to your very own mystery question..."were very baddly triggered"...I don't think one can be triggered by from something that isn't there, that didn't happen, that is false, fake, or pretend. Some part of our whole being knows the truth...hence the trigger effect. Safe
if okay.
Not to leave out our other special friends here...we love sharing hugs with you all too!!! 
. 
