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Im feeling a bit lonely right now,  so if its okay with you guys Ill join you on the porch

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Hello and welcome to the forum! brave of you to speak up. your bravery may help others find their own voice and begin to talk & heal, so thanks for joining! 

Thank you! I am still nervous about it, but I hope I will be able to own my own history intime, and that it will be easier to talk about if I practise more.

I find it easier to write,  especially in English since its not my first language, it makes it possible to distance myself a bit.

I ACCEPT!

Then a big big hug to you!

Sorry to hear that you cannot feel any joy from your new breakthrough. Still, I would like to congratulate you on it. It's pretty cool that you got a record deal! It's not nothing that's for sure.

I hope that given time, you'll be able to also find some satisfaction in the fact that you've both published books and now will be making a record. Maybe the satisfaction will come later? In the meantime, I hope you'll accept a hug 

The post isn't long at all, Sceal. If this post is counted as 'long', my posts would be novels! lol
It's a pleasure to meet you.
I'm sorry to hear what's happened. I hope you are in a safer environment now though, wish you all the best! ^-^

I wrote it on my phone late last night, and it felt like it was super long there and then. But seeing it now on the computer I see it wasn't long at all.
Thank you for saying hi!

I can relate to the stress and sadness that comes to changing health care professionals. I find it hard to let go, but also hard to accept the unpredictable change. Never knowing how the new person will be like. I hope your new GP will be a source of help and support for you.

I hope you are able to talk to your new GP, and that you do get a wonderful patient-professional relationship. As for getting diagnosed with C-PTSD, or PTSD in general. I never went into spesifics of what I went through, the psychologists made me take two questionaire tests. One of them is called SCID 2 I think. The questions are just about symptoms as far as I can remember, nothing spesific about trauma in general. Maybe that can help you get properly diagnosed, and from thereon maybe they will be able to provide you with the help that you do need.

*offering a hug*

[Trigger warning]

Hello, Ive just signed up after having a look around the forum a bit.

Trigger warning
My story started when I was 6. I was bullied and excluded at school for 10 years in varying degrees. I recall learning about thralls and serfs in school and I fullt believed that my worth was even lower than that. And that I was meant to serve everyone else, even at the cost of my health.  I still struggle with this belief that became a fundamental truth to me.

I dont know how old I was during the first few sexual assaults. They were done by an older girl. But I recon I was between 4, 5 or 6. I dont think she understood what she was doing or the consequences of her actions.
The next one was when I had turned 16. I  tried to tell my bf at the time I was scared and not ready. He manipulated and used psychological and emotional bullying to get what he wanted. My boundaries were already destroyed. I thought this is what I must endure to have a bf. This continued for 5-6 years. It took me a long time to accept that this was abuse. Any of this. 
Skipping over some stuff...
It of course made me into a easy prey for other men. The last one was a 1 year and 3 months ago. I have a hard time these days.
I would like nothing more to rise above and prove that they didnt destroy my life and that I do have some worth as well.. but its bordering being too difficult  to do. 
trigger warning end

I am sorry for the long post, i just.  Ive needed to put words to it all for sime time. I am scared though, but Ill try to avoid deleting all of this