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That lack of joy? that detached bemusement? That's dysthymia, that is.

Music to swat to, vol 1...........

Hi
I can relate to Xbox games, and I am old.....
I use them to block out intrusive thoughts and allows me to ignore a chronic pain condition, at least while I'm playing. I prefer to read but sometimes I can't read, I hear the author's voice and can't concentrate on the actual book, it becomes distasteful in some odd way.
A big game like skyrim is distracting to my demons when books can't help.
Its better than alcohol and weed, they seem to help but in reality just make me worse.
I have no good advice for you, but I have similar experiences if that helps?

Regarding moving, I did that and it is pretty drastic, you leave so much behind that its just another trauma, more loss and sadness. But if you have been struggling for years maybe its time to give it a go. Cptsd ruins decisiveness and decision making....

Hi barbidoll,
Bumping the car sounds familiar, I think its called disassociation and happens to me, sort of just zone out for a while, these things happen.

Apparently I was looking at the blank screen on my phone for over 5 minutes recently, I must have been thinking about something I guess but don't remember what.....

I wouldn't be strong enough for family therapy so don't feel bad about that either, avoiding situations that would cause you anxiety seems common sense to me.

Hi lorien,
You have been through a * of a lot, its no surprise that it has taken it out of you.
18 years can't be gotten over quickly, if a friend of yours had experienced what you have been through you wouldn't expect them to be skipping about, you would be very understanding of their situation. Be kind to yourself in the same way as if it was a friend suffering.
Try not to think that after 4 years you should be doing better than you are, its a way to bash yourself up, it takes as long as it needs to, no shame in that at all.

Hello all
Joined today and wanted to try to bring something to the table.
Co morbidity is having more than one issue, it is common if you have trauma based anxiety. But what if you don't have any diagnosis at all and can't get treatment? Where are you then?

I have more issues than cptsd, now I know that fact things make a little more sense to me.
I try to be accepting of how I am, I was unaware I was Ill for many years, then very worried about my mental health for a while and no proper diagnosis.

Now I have a slight grasp of what is going on for me and I try to relax into it. Knowledge may not be power but it is still useful to have.

Don't worry about fitting the DSM criteria exactly, it is evolving over time as medicine catches up with the various ways trauma effects people. It reminds me of the scene in the Life of Brian where the popular front of Judea and the judean popular front are falling out over nothing.....

What I'm saying is, if you find your way here then you are in the right place.

Hello Dave
Just joined as got a cptsd diagnosis earlier this week and so here I am.
Mine is adult onset too and I relate to your post as my situation involved work related threats to my life over a long time, stuff I couldn't prevent or avoid so had to just endure as best I could.
I'm in a much safer place now and look back with disbelief at what has happened to me.
I grieve over what I had to abandon in order to gain personal safety, but it eventually became necessary if I was to survive as some sort of person.
Anyone else worry about losing the plot and causing harm to others? I live isolated to avoid others, part of that is in case they threaten me in some way as I don't want to over react.