Messages

Sasha,
Sorry to hear you have had multiple trauma over the years.

Cptsd seems more linked to interpersonal trauma than PTSD.

It seems to be about becoming intentionally victimised by someone, PTSD is usually impersonal trauma like natural disasters and wars.


Your recent adult experience of violence and threat sounds like more interpersonal trauma which would likely exacerbate and/or compound your existing cptsd.

PTSD has 3 diagnostic symptoms and cptsd has those 3 plus an extra 3.

So 3Roses is right in saying you cant be diagnosed with both  at the same time, there is not much differentiation in cause during diagnosis, it's more about assessing the effects to see what category they fit best.

Interesting post James.

The description of the differences between stress and burnout are interesting, I can believe I got the cptsd from stress and then the depressive disorder from subsequent burnout, might be a fit.

I often wonder why i have both, could be an explanation.

Is burnout a recognised thing? Is it what used to be called a nervous breakdown? I will try to find out a bit more i think.

Neither description has been used in my diagnoses over the years, but that might not mean much.

Thank you all so much for your replies.

So many ideas and insights, I'm very grateful.

Will need to read them a few more times.

Just something I would appreciate some comments on:

I am becoming less reactive to things which happen, mostly.

A little distance between actions of others and my reaction is probably a good and healthier way to be.

But it might also be numbing, depression or dissociation, which is not good.

There is no clear way to steer between getting triggered by everything and becoming withdrawn and immobile.

And perhaps keeping yourself in between those two different types of calamity doesnt mean you are healthy anyway, just trying to delay crashing into either isnt the same as health or recovery.

Anyone else recognise this?

I am trying to improve my life but not sure how to do it.

Not sure if it's the same but I can get very focussed and perfectionist about things, a bit obsessive.

Something has to be quite important before I get into that condition, usually my life is totally disorganised.

Sorry you have this too, it can trigger my depression even if it's mostly just imaginary.

This is not really a symptom I guess.

But I often feel I am treated poorly.

It's a general feeling and happens in lots of ways.

I find I often dont get the outcome I want or expect, but others seem to do ok.

Or maybe I do ok, but believe I would do better if I was.....less how I am.

Does anyone recognise this feeling? It's like I am of less worth than everyone else so dont deserve the same treatment.

Part of my isolating myself is because I cant get fair treatment from others, or it seems like that to me, most encounters seem to take something out of me.

The most recent episode didn't clear up, i ended up in hospital. I suspect my immune system is not doing its job properly.

Maybe I should take vitamins, I've not been eating properly, they might help.

It might not be stress based  but I think it might well be.

I think you are absolutely right in what you have posted James.

Maybe you could read your post again if you begin to doubt yourself, what you say is right, hold onto that.

Hello Orion,

Your post is something I wonder about often.

I dont think warning people does much good, it's not something people understand who dont have cptsd in my experience, and that can include therapists too.

Another way of looking at it is that it isnt simply a problem which has been added to who you are, it is actually a part of who you are now.

Like any other characteristic, others just have to learn to get to know who you are for themselves.

It's the whole person that matters, if you are kind and thoughtful then being wary is just another part of being you.

If people can work it out themselves then great, if not then explanation doesnt seem to change outcomes for me.

It's good to try to work on managing cptsd, but I think it's also good to accept it as a fact of life, a natural response to bad experiences which is perfectly understandable if you have had those experiences but hard to grasp if you have not.

For me this matter of fact approach gives me less shame and less anxiety somehow, but getting a good level of acceptance has been tough and might be the nearest I will get to recovery.

There is a quote or saying (desiderata maybe?) which is something like - give me the strength to change the things I can and the strength to accept the things I cannot change.

So, be proud that you have changed your addictions, and be willing to be kind to yourself and accept the things which you cannot change.

If you can accept yourself now as well as in a hopefully improved future then It might make it easier for others to accept you for who you are. And if they dont then that is another thing to try to accept.

You have achieved a lot already.

I seem to have developed this recently, it's a skin infection in the deepest layer of the skin.

As it's new to me I am wondering if anyone else has had this?

I wonder if stress has lowered my immune system allowing this to take hold.

It clears up quickly with antibiotics but then comes back somewhere else, bit odd.

You could look up dysthymia, it is a bit like the first example you gave I think.

The second example is more like depression, or a depressive episode, maybe.

How long these feelings last for seems to be diagnostic.

I've learnt not to worry too much about the various terms, I see them as a bit artificial, a way for psychiatrists to categorise things and possibly not all that helpful as the categories they use overlap quite a bit.

My approach is to accept that how I feel is real and valid, whatever the psych label is it is a real thing I experience.

I think experiencing depression is different to reading a description of depression, it's hard to convey how overwhelming it is in words.

I agree with Gromit.

It seems to me that you tried to give a full explanation with background but the manager has swept that aside and just wants to know if you will be in work.

So, ok, if they arent interested just give them the facts they need.

Next time I wouldn't bother with any explanation, just text that you arent coming in due to illness and leave it at that.

Like LTLTR my cptsd is adult onset.

I struggle to explain things, even to myself.

I think I had PTSD from pretty extreme trauma prior to experiencing the situation which caused the cptsd.

People dont understand at all, they can understand that the obvious extreme trauma would have been damaging but sort of get hung up on that and so miss the complexity of the later stuff I was trapped in.

I've seen that in health professionals too, the overall picture gets missed.

I get told that I seem ok, people just dont understand that the trauma has become internalised somehow, not sure I understand it myself. I used to 'act out' with the PTSD which was obvious.

Telling the story and working out what happened and the effect it had seems important, even if it's only working on the narrative in your head and not sharing it with anyone else.

If your own story makes no sense to you then it's so hard to explain it to others.

I suspect I was more obviously unwell with the PTSD, people dont seem to pick up on my cptsd much, if at all.

And the depressive disorder? I only use that when I need to explain sudden episodes of drastic weight loss.....

The 1-10 scale is interesting, the events which led to PTSD score higher but the later stealth abuse has had a more profound effect on me I think, somehow more damaging even if the symptoms are not obvious to others.

I developed scalp psoriasis during a time of high stress in my 50's, still got it.