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Just bought Pete's book and the excerpts I'm seeing on these forums makes me even more excited to read it! The traditional idea of "flashbacks" has never really jived with me because I don't feel sucked into actual memories (like many of us, I barely feel like I have memories) so I always thought this symptom didn't apply to me.

But this I have definitely experienced. It validating to know that this is normal and just another part of C-PTSD; it's good to know it's something I can work on. Thank you for sharing.

You are absolutely not the only one. I've been littering the boards with posts since I joined yesterday and my IC is telling me that every single one is a piece of trash and I should just log off for good. I think it's normal for people like us to feel that our words and our experiences are not valuable, even when that's definitely not the case. Sharing the pain and the love is what this forum is for, after all!

I want you to know that your post helped me. It helped me understand that I am not alone. And neither are you You are valued here.

Also SUPER glad that this thread is back because it speaks to my soul. Growing up with an NM and trying to heal is SO MUCH HARDER because of the prevalence of this Mother Myth. This is a big throwback but Clarity, I think you're exactly right when you said that "maternal rejection is so profound that society cannot handle it." And I wonder sometimes if even victims like us, specifically, can't really process that rejection because of how badly we wish the myth was true. The same was we buy into all the horrible thoughts NMs put into our heads, we buy into this idea that all mothers - even ours - really do love us and we just aren't seeing it. I mean, *, I got reds straight down the board on that quiz and I immediately found myself going back and knocking down some of my answers because it couldn't really be that bad, right? It's just so tragic that any of us should have to question our actual experiences just because society says mothers are supposed to be some way.

Rant over, haha. Love to all of you other motherless friends  It's a tough battle but I'm happy to have found this group so we can try it together. You are believed here, and you are valued here.

Thank you so much for sharing this idea!! I've been in a bit of slump lately - multiple episodes a day sometimes, general depression - and I've been struggling to remember what makes me happy. This box sounds like a great way for Feeling-Good Me to help Slump Me get back on track.

This hits home pretty hard for me, and I agree that it's got to be another symptom. I've tried to explain this lack of identity and self to a few of the "well-adjusted" people in my life and they truly don't understand. They have hobbies, memories, personal narratives, traditions that make up who they are. It's not that I don't have a few hobbies or things that make me happy, but none of those things really feel like "me." It's like being a blank canvas but nothing sticks.

AphoticAtramenous - You make a really good point that this may stem from having to put on so many different masks to adapt to different circumstances. I never thought of it that way before but I have to agree. All the same, I wonder: can people like us ever find a way to make something stick? To feel at home with ourselves? I worry sometimes that it won't happen because I never learned how to "be myself, so to speak. Or maybe it's just that I unlearned it and I don't know how to get it back. Blerrgg it's such a heavy question.

Thanks, all. I really appreciate it

Just wanted to say a quick hello before I dive into the rest of these forums. It's a lot to get through so if anyone has some good recommendations on where to start, please let me know.

It's nice to meet all of you I'm looking forward to starting my journey here.

Stay strong,
Resca