Glad to hear that your sleep cycle is doing well, and you figured out your dream. I hope your T session goes well and helps with that baggage. Take care!: )
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#917
Recovery Journals / Re: Jazzy's Journal
September 24, 2019, 11:47:00 PM
Thank you Sanmagic. I'm following up on a new lead, but it may take a while. We'll see what happens, hopefully something good. Sorry to hear you've had trouble finding a good T as well. I'm glad this forum is here as well. I am so thankful to everyone who participates. It has been a tremendous help to me along my journey, and I'd be lost without it. Thank you everyone.
#918
Podcasts, Videos & Documentaries / Re: Conference on Trauma starting 21st September 2019 - free to view
September 24, 2019, 11:39:40 PM
I also had difficulty focusing and following the beginning of the call. It didn't seem to really fit the topic, but later on he really pulled it together.
A couple of points that resonated with me from this talk:
First of all, it is interesting to hear him say that the most helpful tool any therapist has is their relationship with the client. Perhaps this is why I haven't had much good come from therapy; I've never had a good relationship with my therapist. At best, I've actively disliked them all. I'm not really sure how to change that (or maybe I deserve to be fussy about my therapists?), but at least there is potential for improvement there.
He said he found this out unintentionally when doing client/therapist role play sessions at his training events. He said that the "therapist" would sit with the "client", but he did all the work personally, to make it easier for the "therapists". Even though he was the one who did all the work, all of the "clients" were really appreciative of the "therapist" for being there with them. This is what made him realize how important the therapist/client relationship is.
The part of the talk that had the biggest impact for me is when he explained the difference between the neo/subcortex, and how trauma can live in the subcortex. I've never heard this explained before, and I found it really validates why it is so much easier to understand something, but that doesn't mean the relating trauma has actually been dealt with. This idea of trauma being "stuck" (in the subcortex) has really bothered me since I learned about CPTSD, and made me feel it was impossible to heal, but it sounds like there is hope.
The neocortex is where our "advanced" brain functionality lives. Things like logic and language live here. This is the part of the brain we're using when we go through our healing journey by learning and studying (like listening to these videos) and participating in talk therapy.
The subcortex is where our senses and somatic experiences live. Dr. Grand says that trauma that is not able to be fully processed by the neocortex (especially at a younger age), will be pushed down to live in the subcortex. Through somatic therapy we can access this trauma, and begin to heal it. The primary example he used is that different parts of your field of visions are more/less connected to the trauma. Looking in a particular direction (to the left, to the right, above/below/at eye level), or sometimes even the spot where our vision naturally rests will connect with this buried trauma, and cause a physical reaction. Focusing on this spot while working through the trauma will help bring it to resolution.
He also points out this technique can be used the opposite way, and gave an example of how when he was in pre-op for surgery, he had to wait a long time, and kept his vision locked in the spot where he felt most grounded. This kept his anxiety about the upcoming surgery contained, instead of it growing out of control.
That's the best I understood it. I'm really not familiar with somatic therapy, or work in the subcortex. Its something I plan to look in to, but it was just such a relief to hear that this logic/experience difference is a known and understood occurrence, so I wanted to write about that.
A couple of points that resonated with me from this talk:
First of all, it is interesting to hear him say that the most helpful tool any therapist has is their relationship with the client. Perhaps this is why I haven't had much good come from therapy; I've never had a good relationship with my therapist. At best, I've actively disliked them all. I'm not really sure how to change that (or maybe I deserve to be fussy about my therapists?), but at least there is potential for improvement there.
He said he found this out unintentionally when doing client/therapist role play sessions at his training events. He said that the "therapist" would sit with the "client", but he did all the work personally, to make it easier for the "therapists". Even though he was the one who did all the work, all of the "clients" were really appreciative of the "therapist" for being there with them. This is what made him realize how important the therapist/client relationship is.
The part of the talk that had the biggest impact for me is when he explained the difference between the neo/subcortex, and how trauma can live in the subcortex. I've never heard this explained before, and I found it really validates why it is so much easier to understand something, but that doesn't mean the relating trauma has actually been dealt with. This idea of trauma being "stuck" (in the subcortex) has really bothered me since I learned about CPTSD, and made me feel it was impossible to heal, but it sounds like there is hope.
The neocortex is where our "advanced" brain functionality lives. Things like logic and language live here. This is the part of the brain we're using when we go through our healing journey by learning and studying (like listening to these videos) and participating in talk therapy.
The subcortex is where our senses and somatic experiences live. Dr. Grand says that trauma that is not able to be fully processed by the neocortex (especially at a younger age), will be pushed down to live in the subcortex. Through somatic therapy we can access this trauma, and begin to heal it. The primary example he used is that different parts of your field of visions are more/less connected to the trauma. Looking in a particular direction (to the left, to the right, above/below/at eye level), or sometimes even the spot where our vision naturally rests will connect with this buried trauma, and cause a physical reaction. Focusing on this spot while working through the trauma will help bring it to resolution.
He also points out this technique can be used the opposite way, and gave an example of how when he was in pre-op for surgery, he had to wait a long time, and kept his vision locked in the spot where he felt most grounded. This kept his anxiety about the upcoming surgery contained, instead of it growing out of control.
That's the best I understood it. I'm really not familiar with somatic therapy, or work in the subcortex. Its something I plan to look in to, but it was just such a relief to hear that this logic/experience difference is a known and understood occurrence, so I wanted to write about that.
#919
Recovery Journals / Re: Tee's first journal
September 24, 2019, 11:01:06 PM
I'm glad you made it through. Sounds like you did great!
#920
Recovery Journals / Re: Hope's Journal: Continuing to Befriend My Parts.
September 24, 2019, 10:54:59 PM
Hope, it is great to see how much you have improved. It really says a lot that you still come and share when you are feeling vulnerable, like this morning. I hope you take some time to feel proud of that. I'm glad you're feeling better this evening, and I wish you peace as you continue your healing journey.
I can also relate to losing a career, and lying about doing paid work. Its a really big lifestyle change, and difficult to come to terms with. I'm not really sure how to get over that, but I hope you find a way to work through it, so it doesn't bother you any more.
Take care Hope!
I can also relate to losing a career, and lying about doing paid work. Its a really big lifestyle change, and difficult to come to terms with. I'm not really sure how to get over that, but I hope you find a way to work through it, so it doesn't bother you any more.
Take care Hope!
#921
Recovery Journals / Re: Sceal's third journal
September 24, 2019, 10:40:16 PM
Thank you for the name. I made a note of that. I hope it goes well with your visitors. Take care!
#922
Recovery Journals / Re: Wattlebirds journal
September 24, 2019, 10:35:34 PM
So glad you're improving Wattlebird! All the best with the sleep cycles, that can be really difficult. Take care!
#923
Therapy / Re: What do you think of this place?
September 23, 2019, 11:54:00 PM
£125-£250/hr sounds about right to see a psychiatrist around here... a big problem for me. Some of the places will give you a reduced rate if you have exceptional circumstances, but still.
#924
The Cafe / Re: Quail Parade
September 23, 2019, 11:49:18 PM
Hahaha, wow, that sounds like quite something. I wonder what they are up to every day?
I'm sure your new place will have its own quirks. Hopefully the move isn't too hard on you.
Take care Kizzie!
I'm sure your new place will have its own quirks. Hopefully the move isn't too hard on you.
Take care Kizzie!
#925
General Discussion / Re: Too much too young?
September 23, 2019, 11:47:46 PM
I think it is a dangerous possibility. Hopefully they get the support they need.
#926
Frustrated? Set Backs? / Re: Thoughts on relying too much on the board?
September 23, 2019, 11:45:41 PM
Hi SaB,
I have social phobia, and a lot of other social problems as well. It isn't as bad when I'm online, but it certainly still is a factor when I'm posting here. Maybe the details aren't exactly the same, but it sounds like to me this is what you are trying to deal with. Unfortunately, I don't really have anything to offer that will help. I just kind of push past all my negative feelings about what people here might think about me.
I wanted to say though, that I really relate to having a much more difficult time processing and working through a problem than just knowing about it. It is really frustrating. I take time every day to learn and share and do whatever I can, but when I get caught in an EF or dissociating, I feel so helpless. Even after it is over, I look back, and feel like I was completely unable to control myself, and I really don't know what I can do different to improve.
Anyway, the point is that you are not alone. I hope that helps out in some small way. Take care!
I have social phobia, and a lot of other social problems as well. It isn't as bad when I'm online, but it certainly still is a factor when I'm posting here. Maybe the details aren't exactly the same, but it sounds like to me this is what you are trying to deal with. Unfortunately, I don't really have anything to offer that will help. I just kind of push past all my negative feelings about what people here might think about me.
I wanted to say though, that I really relate to having a much more difficult time processing and working through a problem than just knowing about it. It is really frustrating. I take time every day to learn and share and do whatever I can, but when I get caught in an EF or dissociating, I feel so helpless. Even after it is over, I look back, and feel like I was completely unable to control myself, and I really don't know what I can do different to improve.
Anyway, the point is that you are not alone. I hope that helps out in some small way. Take care!
#927
Physical Abuse / Re: Could this be physical abuse? TW (I think)
September 23, 2019, 11:35:35 PM
Sorry you were put through this Ambassador.
I'm not a professional, but I would say it qualifies for physical abuse. Its not right to force someone in to a heavy exercise regime, especially without proper preparation. I'd say its way over the line when a "diet" makes you sick as well.
Take care!
I'm not a professional, but I would say it qualifies for physical abuse. Its not right to force someone in to a heavy exercise regime, especially without proper preparation. I'd say its way over the line when a "diet" makes you sick as well.
Take care!
#928
Recovery Journals / Re: SaB's 2nd journal
September 23, 2019, 11:18:28 PM
That sounds great. Reduced anxiety can be so helpful. Take care!
#929
Recovery Journals / Re: Snowdrop's journal
September 23, 2019, 11:17:04 PM
Sounds like you had a good day! I hope looking in to the IFS further is fruitful for you. I have been thinking about that too. Take care!
#930
Recovery Journals / Re: A Safe Place To Be Visible
September 23, 2019, 11:15:05 PM
Hi Bach, sorry you are having difficulty with this situation. It is good that you got your test results back and you were right though. I hope things smooth over soon as you adjust to the change/lack of medication. Hang in there!