Messages

@Rainagain: You are correct on all counts: the amygdala can't completely evaluate a situation,  plan a response, or consider the consequences of a response - it doesn't possess the neuronal functionality to do so; his mates would not have played fair. If you're in a regulated sporting competition with an impartial judge, you can reasonably assume a level of fairness is being applied. Anywhere else? Not a chance.

Consider the following; I've personally found it to be quite true and more importantly, useful.

1.) Immediate, life threatening danger: fist being thrown at you; edged weapon thrusting towards you; firearm being deployed; car running an intersection; gas explosion; bomb or mass shooting; then a life saving 45ms response is warranted. When you primal do it to the maximum!

2.) Anything that requires 0.5s response or more, engage the PFC. Standing up, walking around a table to confront someone - warranted or not - engage the PFC. Evaluate the entire situation and your options fully.

3.) Sometimes 1 followed closely by 2 is the most appropriate course of action.

Here's a useful trick: program a PFC code word into your head. Mine is 'Monk'. When I was on active duty and we engaged in a crisis situation my partner and I would code each other out of a primal response - if required. If you have a trustworthy friend that you usually socialise with you can ask them to code you if you go primal.

Be safe. LTLTR

Hi.

Got some experience with this as well. Some good, some, well, not particularly proud of.

It's the body's Fight, Flight or Freeze response mechanism. Under experimental conditions it's been found that it takes the lower cortical structures, or the Reptile brain 45ms to register a stimulus AND to initiate what it considers to be an appropriate response, including but not limited to the release of hormones, activation of PNS, and even muscular responses.

This is hardwired into us and everything we experience goes through these channels. The primary sensory cortex communicates directly with the primary motor cortex.

It takes the prefrontal cortex over 300ms to register a stimuli. Only then can it initiate a response. It is the highest cortical function and structured very differently to the lower functions. It receives its input and responds via these lower networks.

So. The body always reacts first and then thinks. What about chronic high stress situations and the operators that must function there?

After a new stimulus and response activation is encoded into the PFC - through repeated, reality-based training - this response becomes embedded in the lower cortical networks. Hence the process referred to as: making the response instinctual.

It served as well when we wandered with sabre toothed tigers and it serves high stress operators still but for the majority of us it can be a problem. It can get us into trouble with the law, or if activated too often, too frequently and not allowed to deactivate, it develops into C-PTSD. So, for us, it's both a cause and effect of our behaviors.

Primarily, be safe, short term and long term. LTLTR.

Hi.

I think you may be seeking your true Nature and trying to connect with this Nature in those around you.

It is Love.

There are many Paths to it, some religious, and plenty of ancient disciplines one can practice.

We are Spirit having a human experience, not human seeking Spirit. We already have it.

Companionship and guidance is good though. You are already showing your need, determination and discernment in the area.

Trust your feelings and let the experience evolve as it is ready.

Be blessed. LTLTR

Dad had a bad weekend. It's just me and the boys at the moment. I really need to cry but they won't understand and I don't want scare them seeing me this way.

I'm not great company either. Would it be OK if I let the boys run around on the lawn in front of the porch while I sat by myself in the forest on the lake's edge.

I'd really appreciate it if you fine people could keep an eye on them while I tend my broken heart.

Thank you kindly. LTLTR

Good evening.

Bad news: falling down and hitting your head!
Good news: wake up call.

It's not going to be easy. I had a very violent suicide attempt at 18. I survived but I self medicated with alcohol and acid for four years afterwards. I was insane; flying manic for days. I had a great career in a Metal band.

One day I woke up in Miami sick as a dog from alcohol poisoning. I couldn't go out and enjoy the famed South Beach and I certainly couldn't face another drink.

I stopped that day. Been sober and clean for 44 years. I had to stop going to bars and clubs; close drinking buddies drifted away and the music was good still but not transcendental anymore.

I focused my time and energy on something far more constructive; spending hours practicing and teaching Kung Fu.

6 months; I still thought about bars, girls, bands and alcohol.
4 years; pretty much never thought about it.

I decided that I wanted to experience life clearly. The alcohol took that away from me, put me in an emotional limbo. When the alcohol (or any drug) no longer serves it's purpose, when it's no longer your helping hand, then cleaning up and getting sober is simply your new path; to a happier, healthier you.

I believe that you deserve that health. Now believe with me.

LTLTR

Thank you for your replies, words of encouragement and stories of better times.

This too shall pass.

I KNOW this in my RB but my lower functioning brain is faster at wreaking havoc than my skills are at repairing myself. But, it's early days and time has not had the opportunity to apply its fixture.

I do love the mountains. Some people love the ocean but it's deep, menacing, roiling under the surface.

The mountains climb to the sky. They are solid. When I sit against a giant boulder, I feel a deep peaceful wisdom in the rocks below. I am at peace alone in the mountains.

I usually conduct a Kung Fu retreat in the mountains at this time of the year but the little guys are too young - childhood laughter is lovely but can annoy those trying to learn to meditate.

This too shall pass.

LTLTR

Hi

@DecimalRocket: thanks for just taking the time to read and respond.
@Three Roses: yeah, that sense of  insidious evil is like something Dean Koontz would write a whole book about.
@sanmagic7: thank you but I don't feel very courageous, just terrified!
@Blueberry: thank you for the well-wishes.

Amitofu. LTLTR

I'm running for my life. I've been on the road for days now, just a bag of clothes, a box of toys, two sleeping bags and my three sons.

We left early on a Friday morning. K is four years old, I couldn't see him lasting more than five hours strapped into his seat so I headed up the coast sure I'd find someplace to stopover for the night. Holiday season hadn't started so most places would have free rooms.

Two hours on the road and a thousand 'look sheep' and 'look cows' from K and R later we crashed off the highway. Everyone was OK but we were stranded. I Googled up a mechanic using Google Maps and My Location and he sent out a recovery vehicle for us. A Highway Patrol vehicle passed us by, turned around and then kept us company, hazards flashing, until the recovery vehicle arrived.

While I waited, I jacked up the front left side of the vehicle and crawled under to see what the damage was: the left steering arm had disconnected from the left wheel hub causing me to lose control of the steering. Fortunately, I'd managed to control the slide off the highway and not directly into an oncoming double- trailer freightliner.

The mechanic in the recovery vehicle managed to reattach the steering arm and we followed him back to his workshop to have it properly repaired. He took us into this beautiful village where he worked from. Deep, rich, green forests surrounded us and a long, large mountain range ran upwards from the edge of the village. Dams glistened through the trees.

After thoroughly repairing the vehicle, the mechanic informed me that the vehicle steering mechanism had been deliberately sabotaged. The steering arm joins the hub with a self-tightening but a cotter pin that runs through the bolt so that even if the but were to loosen it would never detach completely. For that to have happened, someone would have had to have removed the cotter pin and physically loosened the nut.

In his opinion someone had sabotaged the steering with the intention of causing an accident while the vehicle was being driven. They hadn't simply disabled the vehicle but had tried to ensure that I was injured or killed in a collision.

That made a great deal of sense. I'd been having problems with gangsters for a few months: breaking into my vehicle; stealing my headlamps, threatening me in the street and extorting money from my wife. Not one to shy from confrontation I'd stood them down on a number of occasions and filed a report with the police. In fact the night before we left, I'd challenged one of the gangsters to s ettle this, here and now, once and for all. He'd backed down but apparently had taken the dishonourable root of sabotaging my vehicle later that night.

But it wasn't gangsters or gang threats that I was running from. I was running from something far more evil, far more sinister, and more insidious than a knife fight.

I desperately just want to hike up into the mountains, just keep walking until I've passed on.

But who would cuddle my baby boy to sleep???

Thank you to everyone for your welcome messages and words of advice and support.

I came via the website so will check those resources out, thanks.

@Rainagain: no need to answer but I was a volunteer Paramedic on the Cape Flats - currently standing at 9th highest murder rate in the world, including countries at war - for 10 years. To me the work was rewarding and developed a deep seated compassion and empathy for Humanity.

But that was outside the home. What went on in the home was awful. I filed domestic abuse papers with the courts and they kept mistaking me for the defendant not the complainant.

I hope I can contribute to the forum as well as everyone else.

Amitofu

Hi

I replied to a thread over the weekend so I thought I'd better introduce myself.

I developed adult onset C-PTSD as a result of being exposed to my wife's developing psychiatric condition. It was an absolute nightmare living with her, but I thought I could help her. I thought that if I just tried harder, researched more, was more patient, got involved in her treatment, that I could help her.



8 years later I'm a wreck, literally. My psychologist told me that it was officially a rainy day and that I should get the * out of Dodge. I packed my sons, a bag of clothes, a box of toys and we hit the road. We were on the road for four days and now we've settled in a quiet, coastal village.

I have no idea what is going to happen to me...

LTLTR

Hi

For me (adult onset C-PTSD) Recovery has been  about:

1. Acceptance. I accept completely what has happened to me; I completely  accept where I find myself; and I accept completely who I have become.
I do not enjoy it but I Accept it.

2. Responsibility. I take full responsibility for my past, current and future reactions and responsibilities.
I know they will not be right but I own them.

Those came about through 8 years of psychological help stuck in an an abusive relationship. I lost a 7 figure income, I lost 28kg, and I was being admitted to the ER for anxiety related GIT issues.

Two weeks ago I packed my 3 young boys, a bag of clothes, a box of toys and we left. We were on the road for 4 days and we've settled at a quiet seaside town.

Now what???

I don't know.

• I am in a state of hyper vigilance. I cannot relax. Instead of enjoying my boys exploring the rocks and beach, I am terrified they will injury themselves.

I am chronically depressed. I feel trapped in a situation that I cannot control or resolve.

• I do not enjoy anything that I used to, even to the point of celibacy.

But these are all symptoms of C-PTSD and I believe they can be addressed.

Loving kind fullness was very well written - thank you. Your kind fullness are like ripples on a pond - they move outwards, then they return influenced by the other ripples they flow through.

I will:

• Focus on my health. I taught Shaolin Kung Fu for 26 - I know how to do that.
• I will focus my attention on positive experiences, not dwell on the suffering
• Every day I speak individually to my boys and offer them words of encouragement.
• Every day I will do one thing better than I did today.

Just as you Amygdala and your Sympathetic response took time to develop to a state of always-on, it can be trained to turn off.

Finally, I practice Mindfulness and Meditation techniques so that I can be Open to new opportunities and to use them as needed.

I probably didn't answer your question but I hope I gave you something.

The only way not to recover is not to move. Motion changes everything.

Take care.