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Messages - Libby183

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286
Dear Phoebes.

I felt so sad to read your post and it felt so familiar.   I feel overwhelmed with sorrow for you, me and everyone else with mothers like ours, who stole our lives and our joy.

I keep making mistakes and losing what I have typed (quite long). Perhaps because I feel so moved by your story. 

So for now, I will just say that I am with you in everything you said, and that I will try to get myself together and reply successfully in a while.

Take care,

Libby

287
Medication / Re: B12 lifting fatigue and disphoria
« on: February 12, 2018, 07:13:07 AM »
Hi Kat.

Now you mention it,  I do seem to remember having some side-effects, including headaches,  when I started taking supplements last time.  From a purely unscientific view point,  I do wonder if our brains and nervous systems are especially sensitive to any changes.  It does feel like this is the case for me.

Generally,  I am not a huge believer in supplements - I wonder if it's all just a way to make money,  but with my low blood levels of these vitamins and my symptoms,  I think they may be worth a try.

Take care,

Libby

288
Family of Origin (FOO) / Re: Tentatively reconnecting with sibling
« on: February 12, 2018, 06:57:15 AM »
Hi bluescruise, I am so pleased that reconnecting with your brother has been a positive experience.   It sounds as if you may be able to pass on some of your steps towards healing, whilst taking care of yourself.

All the best,

Libby.


289
Questions/Suggestions/Comments / Re: Roll call!
« on: February 11, 2018, 12:01:11 PM »
Really pleased to be back. 

290
General Discussion / Re: Highly Sensitive People...Opinions?? TW
« on: February 11, 2018, 09:37:20 AM »
Such an interesting topic.

Like Gwyon,  I am sure I am HSP and I believe this contributed to the life-long, devastating impact of my abusive relationship with my parents.  I will not take the blame, however.  They were abusive, but they could have,  if they had been able/inclined, made allowances for my sensitivity.  They did not, they used it as a means of scape-goating me.  I have a son with Aspergers,  who has many odd sensitivities,  so I have always taken these into account and respected his unusual ways.  He is an unusual young man, but not at all traumatised.   He copes with life much better than I have ever done.

I found Sceal's idea that introversion can be conditioned in childhood,  really interesting.   Overall,  I am an introvert,  but if I am at ease,  I can also be very out going and very silly and fully able to do over the top things and laugh at myself for doing them.  I felt that this did not go with my introverted personality but I see now that I was put down for this sort of out going behaviour as a child.  My mother didn't behave in such a way and hated it if I did, so she made me feel ashamed. When I became a mother,  she hated me being silly and childish with my young children and shamed me again.  Thanks, Sceal.  That makes perfect sense.

So happy to be back on OOTS again.

Best wishes,  Libby.

291
Medication / Re: B12 lifting fatigue and disphoria
« on: February 11, 2018, 08:58:50 AM »
Hi Gwyon.

This was a really interesting post,  and very timely for me.  I have just decided that I should start taking B12 (and vitamin D) supplements again.  I had both prescribed a while back after a blood test showed that both,  but B12 in particular were low.

I have suffered from fybromyalga symptoms for years,  but have only just realised that peripheral neuropathy and fybromyalga are thought to be closely linked.  The doctor portrayed them as separate conditions but that doesn't seem to fit in with current research. From everything I've read recently,  fybromyalga and it's pain is a nervous system disorder,  so with B12 so vital to the CNS,  it makes sense to maintain good B12 levels.

I feel even more sure that my pain is caused by nervous system 'damage' because moving to a lower dose of duloxetine has led to more foot and hand pain and tingling, and even teeth and ear pain.  It's quite weird what these nerves can get up to!!

So, I hope this makes sense to you and I will be very interested to hear more about your experiences.   I always feel that everything else would be a bit easier to deal with if only we didn't feel so exhausted,  mentally and physically, so anything that helps has got to be good.

Keep us posted.

Libby.


292
Suicide Ideation/Self Harm / Re: Increasingly violent SI/SH thoughts *TW*
« on: February 11, 2018, 08:17:20 AM »
Songbirdrosa,  you are having such a hard time at the moment and I just wanted reach out to you,  so that you know that people are on your side, supporting you, and understand,  if only a little,  how you feel.

Please don't feel bad or ashamed about how you are feeling.   Your friends and family who you mention as being unsupportive,  clearly don't understand. As a teenager,  I really wanted to die and my mother told me not to be so silly.  She said the same thing to my teenage son, in the same circumstances,  years later.  It's the most invalidating response imaginable.

I am relieved to hear that you have professional help lined up to get you through this awful time.  Just hold on to the idea that you deserve and will get help, and that everyone here is, I am positive,  ready to listen to and support you.

Keep safe.

Libby

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