Hi all,
I, as I'm sure most of you have, have dealt with misdiagnosis. It doesn't help that I've never been fully honest with my therapists (before now) about the real extent and variety of childhood abuse, which I won't go into here because it's irrelevant. Suffice it to say that I have been managing my life unhealthily, but with most people being unaware, including DH. He knows about the panic attacks, the chronic and severe depression, etc., but I'm having a v difficult time explaining why "all of a sudden" him bear hugging me or being in my face makes me anxious. I realize he won't ever fully understand and I know I did this to myself by not being present and honest, but I do need him to understanding that I've struggled with this my whole life and that it's nothing new. To somebody who's never experienced dissociation or depersonalization, maybe it's an impossibility. I have lived so long in the world of this person whose life I was wearing that I don't know how to explain to him that I'm not exaggerating or making it up. That's a huge trigger for me and also a v large part of why I'd not ever been honest with therapists or psychiatrists about my symptoms/feelings.
Any thoughts?
I, as I'm sure most of you have, have dealt with misdiagnosis. It doesn't help that I've never been fully honest with my therapists (before now) about the real extent and variety of childhood abuse, which I won't go into here because it's irrelevant. Suffice it to say that I have been managing my life unhealthily, but with most people being unaware, including DH. He knows about the panic attacks, the chronic and severe depression, etc., but I'm having a v difficult time explaining why "all of a sudden" him bear hugging me or being in my face makes me anxious. I realize he won't ever fully understand and I know I did this to myself by not being present and honest, but I do need him to understanding that I've struggled with this my whole life and that it's nothing new. To somebody who's never experienced dissociation or depersonalization, maybe it's an impossibility. I have lived so long in the world of this person whose life I was wearing that I don't know how to explain to him that I'm not exaggerating or making it up. That's a huge trigger for me and also a v large part of why I'd not ever been honest with therapists or psychiatrists about my symptoms/feelings.
Any thoughts?