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Hello,
*triggers warning*

Me too. Unfortunately, there was a time when this was perceived at """"normal""". But even back then, a few decades ago, to be a target of abuse on this topic.... every single night (like my case) was certainly one of the causes of panic attacks back in the 2000s and now generalized anxiety (and fear too though I've overcome it a bit). I took this serious when I perceive that something like that is happening I can be almost sure that there are worst things to come. (I was attempted to be strangled by my mother, at 18, one day after work because I was tired).

xx

[Hello,]

Hello,

    I'm "Sunny", and new here (as you may already guess ).

     And finally, finally, this year, I became familiar with this problem... *relief*
     I was finally able to understand it just about 2 months ago.

Thanks to many persons that went thru quite similar problems I was able to understand things like my panic attacks (way back in the 2000s) and my general current general anxiety. I've bought From Surviving to Thriving, and What's wrong with you Dad? And I've seen *tons* of selected videos. Along with a deep introspection (a sincere one).

     I'm being always monitored by a counsellor (for years and years) it is a need. But, is hard to explain the issue to them, or they don't *really* get it. So I'm considering switching to a more specialized place. (PTSD, neuroscience-oriented places)

     Being able to *know* that I was a target of abuse...and I currently struggle with Complex Post Traumatic Syndrome is such a relief, there's hope for a better future. Because anxiety + some medicines (as a consequence) is crippling. And can't sustain a job, even when I'm capable. So I want to turn the tide for good. I have no friends (you know real friends), I've been married for 15 years until 2010... I thought things will get better but no, I was in my mother's house (yes, I still quite a bit feel shame too having 41 years old!) along with my grandmother (81).

- In my case, CPTSD generated a lot of problems, being the most evident anxiety and fear. (Thankfully years ago I was able to ''''handle''' a bit the guilt.

Anyway, I was wrongly prescribed by a familiar at in my 20s with a typical benzodiazepine, and now I'm struggling to drop it (in a healthy and monitored way by a physician).

I just need a human touch (talk, laugh, share) and a job that so I can leave alone and start the recovery. I'm still here, feeling stuck, but deep down I know I'm not.

Thanks for reading this story! I hope I was clear.
Sunny

Oh! My apologies if my English is not good enough, or rusty :S