Messages

[BeHea1thy]

BeHea1thy    Huge  for you.   This is intense what you are going through, and I'm grateful you grasp that and are taking care of yourself!   Please stay "sane" ...yes, this will pass, but this is a considerable storm, and your personal life as it is really needs the support of others, and here you are in support of your sister.   Many  s for you, friend.

AnneGirl, I hope you have been able to reach the safe island of your therapist.   It is more than your Aunt's desire to help, or how she does it.   You are changing a lot, seeing the ugliness, and yes ...anger is coming up in you for good reason.   

How to heal is as important as seeing why you need to heal which is the breaking of denial you've been doing recently.

Well meaning relatives, spouse, etc. do not know, do not understand truly where you are.   Rely on your therapist to help you.   You have every right to seek help.

Like Cat says, you can only have the vaguest sense that something is off, and behind that sense is a massive uncovering of the Truth.

And, please drop the self-abusing language of words like "stupid" directed towards yourself.    I have done it, we all have done that ...to self-abuse is to continue the abuse of our family of origin (FOO) towards us.    It was NOT right that they abused us, and certainly not right that we abuse ourselves as they trained us to do.

I know you are good, AnneGirl.   You are wise.  You are a survivor.   You are working through emotions that are coming up.   Be kind and gentle with yourself as you would anyone coming out of a war zone.

Welcome aurora!

keepfighting said it all so well.   Do have hope, as you have expressed.

The fog will lift as you heal, and you can have company and support here at OOTS on your Journey.

The edges of the pretty paper, and the ugliness behind it, will be accepted and embraced here as we know the courage it takes for you to see more and more of it, and for you to share some of it here.   We are here to support you, as you can do us.

People run, friends run, sometimes when someone else's truth comes too close to their own.   So, please do not take that to heart with their abandonment of you.

You matter, aurora.    And, I look forward to your future posts here as you shine more of the Light of who you are, and how you are healing here.

Grace and Healing in your Journey.

Rain     

http://www.attachmentdisordermaryland.com/Shame_and_Attachment.pdf:

I hope you are well, and managing your current "storm" well, BeHea1thy!   Sending you a 

Sending you a    Badmemories.

I am late on reply to this post, AnneGirl.    Sending a      I've nothing to add, as I agree with others.   Just wanting you to know I'm thinking of you and care what you are going through.    You are wise, a survivor, someone I admire.   Hang in there, AnneGirl.

Thank you, marycontrary, for the gift of this post.   What an amazing Journey you are on.

Your sharing of your experience there reminds me of the Pete Walker's story in his recent book of the refugee families from Bangladesh he witnessed in Calcutta with all the love immediately after a major natural disaster.   Functioning, loving, joyful families, and an interconnected community.   Riches in their heart.   They may have had very little in "stuff," but their hearts were full.

I can well imagine you are finding healing there.   Thanks again!     

Welcome, Kate.   I am glad you found the OOTS site.   People here are wonderful, and I hope you find healing here.

I look forward to reading your posts, and hearing more of your story.

Grace and Healing in your Journey.   

Welcome Stormwolf! 

I'm glad you've added OOTS forum to your healing.   I look forward to your posts.

Grace and Healing in your Journey.

Welcome CPTSD910001!   

I hope you can find much healing here.   You've had quite a Journey so far.

Grace and Healing in your Journey.

Welcome dewachen!   

I hope you can find joy in 2015!    I'm glad you have found your way here, and I look forward to your posts.

Grace and Healing in your Journey.

Yes, general background sorrow, for sure, and fear and grief, etc

Plenty of fluctuating brain fog with intermittent flashbacks.

Amazement and gratitude that I am alive at all, and, more importantly, that I am actually glad to be alive these days.  And that I feel better this year than maybe ever.

Gratitude that I have a home and a FOC (two live canine cuddlers).  Having experienced homelessness, there are lots of "little" things that fill me with gratitude, like hot running water!  and a bathtub!

And I am happy to be here.

I treasure your post, Trees.    I am guilty for taking for granted what is denied many.   A warm home on a cold day, blankets, proper boots, hot running water ...a bathtub.   What would I do without a bathtub to soak my hurts away?

Most of all, those beautiful, unconditional love fur friends.  Smiles here.

Not so little things.    And, it is easy to focus on what "I do not have and others do" (which is destructive envy), instead a focus of gratitude in the gifts I do have.

I'm glad you are alive, as you share a gift of deeper awareness for me, friend.    Happy, truly Happy, New Year, Trees.

Onward!

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

                             - On Joy and Sorrow, from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

You used to have a quote of Kahlil Gibran's that I really liked.  Could you write it out again?  This time I will copy it down. 

to you, Trees!   Here is the quote, and I love it so.  "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain."

I will post the full section on Joy and Sorrow here, and it will not disappear on you then.   

On Joy and Sorrow chapter from The Prophet book by Khalil Gibran

Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.