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Messages - Boy22

#151
Thank you boatsetsailrose and others.

My latest is beginning to get a more whole awareness of my inner child who is screaming in rage and terror and in pain. I have managed once - two weeks ago - to give him some space to be and comfort.

And along with that I am getting a better picture of my anger and how it is or is not expressed.
#152
Thank you : for your welcome.

I have been reading some posts and they are so challenging in the issues they stir in me.

How is it possible to have come so far and yet need to do so much repair work?
#153
Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: Today I feel ..... (Part 4)
September 15, 2018, 03:40:13 AM
Today I am feeling calm. I had my second session with my new second psychiatrist and learnt more about myself and the road to recovery.

During my quiet, dark breaks away from the world today I was able to relax and begin to feel parts of me that are in pain that my mind normally blocks from my consciousness.
#154
General Discussion / Re: Things They Said
September 15, 2018, 12:58:00 AM
I came to this place via a very different journey.

My instructions were to lie still and be good whilst the nurses hurt me.

I was not allowed to complain about the amount of pain I was/am still in.

I had to perform all tasks to nothing less than perfection, regardless of my pain.
#155
Salutations.

I am lying on my bed, the doors, windows and curtains closed and it is not enough. I need my noise reducing headphones as the local dogs barking is doing my head in. And I found this forum.

I came here via multiple surgeries as a child for my cleft lip and palate. I grew up and was a reasonably successful adult until I was 48 years old. My life had been crumbling for a few years prior and then it completely collapsed.

Fortunately I met the right people to help me, but even now two years later every day is a battle. I spend an awful lot of time cosseted in my bedroom with my Ipad, and yet I have only just discovered this forum today as I was googling depersonalisation after my session yesterday with my second psychiatrist.

I hope I can find a little bit more life via this forum.