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Messages - Not Alone

#2626
Recovery Journals / Re: stuck stuck stuck
November 07, 2019, 03:36:42 PM
I get broken record! I'm wondering what your reasons are for not calling the therapist again. I know what might go through my head, but I don't want to assume you have the same thoughts. At any rate, it might help to be cognizant of why you're hesitant to call. Here for you, sweet San.
#2627
Recovery Journals / Re: Sceal's third journal
November 07, 2019, 03:31:46 PM
Sceal,
That sounds very disorienting.  :hug: My therapist would tell me to do what you can to bring calm to your triggered body. If that doesn't help or fit, please disregard.
#2628
Letters of Recovery / Re: A letter to past me,
November 07, 2019, 03:24:34 PM
Karbon,
Beautiful letter to yourself. Thank you for sharing it.
Quote from: karbon on November 07, 2019, 01:28:04 PM
I've learned to be kinder to myself and the process it takes when you realize with a house on fire, you have to slowly extinguish the flames in order to re-build.
I am working on kindness and slowing down.
#2629
Employment / Re: Unhelpful management
November 06, 2019, 03:23:50 PM
You dealt with the situation with wisdom and strength.  :cheer:
#2630
Pilgrim,
My husband and I contribute very little toward our children's higher education. They are mostly working and paying for it themselves. You asked if what you were doing was too little. It sounds like quite a bit to me.
#2631
General Discussion / Brave
November 06, 2019, 03:17:22 PM
Many people have told me I am brave and courageous for dealing with CSA, for telling a secret, etc. I realize that I automatically dismiss those words as not being true about me. I don't know why.  :Idunno:
#2632
Recovery Journals / Re: stuck stuck stuck
November 06, 2019, 03:12:23 PM
Wish it could be IRL, but sending you a warm blanket and coloring books and pencils and crayons.
#2633
Sexual Abuse / Re: DID telling others
November 06, 2019, 03:09:06 PM
Three Roses,
Thanks for mentioning that. I don't have Hulu so I can't watch it (might be too triggering anyway). I was wondering if the scan was based on reality. Found the following on internet.

"Over the last decade, there has been more brain imaging studies done to better understand DID and see how it looks in the brain. The tests carried out so far, though typically small samples, do indicate that there are differences in the brain (e.g. regional cerebral blood flow) of someone with DID and without DID and that even simulated DID (for the purposes of testing) looks different than what real DID looks like. In addition, parts show up distinctly from one another on a fmri scan (see episode 6 from The Many Sides of Jane, on A&E, for the most recent example of this)."
https://www.elephantjournal.com/2019/03/living-with-and-learning-about-dissociative-identity-disorder-journey-of-healing/
#2634
Taking a taxi back to your place sounds like it was a good, healthy decision. Your feelings about the donut are there for a reason and your feelings and thoughts around that incident are of value.
#2635
Therapy / Re: Trauma Therapy Begins Today
November 05, 2019, 10:25:00 PM
Glad you connected and feels hopeful.
#2636
Recovery Journals / Re: stuck stuck stuck
November 05, 2019, 10:18:12 PM
San,
It stinks that you are dealing with some of the old nemeses. That doesn't negate the FACT that you have made huge progress. I have optimism for you that you will move through this time that feels so awful. For now, do what you can to bring yourself comfort: blanket, tea, stuffed animal, writing, music, &/or Three Roses' suggestions.  :hug:
#2637
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: First time
November 05, 2019, 10:11:10 PM
Sarals,
Welcome to OOTS.  :heythere: It is a help and a relief to be able to communicate with people who "get it." I have felt much less alone and have received support and encouragement from those who are a part of this group.

No wonder "everything is difficult at the moment." You are dealing with a lot.
#2638
Successes, Progress? / Re: Such a Difference
November 05, 2019, 10:07:09 PM
Kizzie,
Thank you for sharing those significant triumphs.  :cheer:
#2639
Sexual Abuse / Re: DID telling others
November 05, 2019, 03:19:37 PM
MoonBeam, Snowdrop, Three Roses:

Thank you for responding and for your well wishes. The session did go well. My friends didn't seem freaked out. One specifically said, "I'm not going anywhere," which was helpful and heartwarming to hear. They asked how they can support me. I said that when I text them, "I'm having a hard time. . ." now I can be more specific and say, for example, "Hope is having a hard time because. . ." Then (if they are comfortable with it) they could address Hope or whoever directly. Therapist explained that they are little and to treat them as such. I also told them that sometimes the Littles just get lonely and want to talk to someone.

Later that day, Hope texted them. Basically, she told them that I wouldn't let her be out at the meeting. Then she told them that we just got back from the grocery store and the she helped shop so we brought home a lot of good things. Two of the ladies responded to Hope.

I have a little bit of "maybe I said too much" hangover. It isn't big, and I'm trying not to give it fuel by giving it too much thought. I don't have a time machine, so not helpful to ponder and question what I said.

I am blessed to have a handful of friends who know and support me as I deal with CSA. And now I have three more friends (added to one friend who I've known for over 35 years and Therapist) who know about the Littles (DID). I am also blessed to have all of you who are walking difficult, painful journeys to talk to and from whom to receive encouragement and support. Thank you.  :grouphug:
#2640
Perplex, your post didn't seem long and I did not see it as a "rant," but as you processing, which you are very welcome to do. I have also struggled with believing my trauma. Putting all the puzzle pieces on the table is helpful over time.