Messages

  thank you Armee I'm not sure what I need. I'm just struggling currently with knowing what to do now. The detective said that they now have to track him down and since it was so long ago they have to get his side of things. So who knows what will come off it if anything.

  well I went to the police and reported my year long trauma. From when I was 15 and 16.  I'm struggling to stay present now and am now not sure what will happen now. Scared that I will have to see him.

  thanks San as always I appreciate your love and support. Will keep posting as I go through the week.😏🙂

  thanks Armee I appreciate your kind words and support.

  thanks everyone trying to decide what to do about the wedding. Can't go with the dog. So  have to decide to go out not.

Visiting a friend in hometown where 90% of trauma took place.  Struggling to stay present. Here to help friend cause her husband died. But forgot to think about location and triggers.

Here now have been thinking for the last couple of weeks about reporting the abuse crap that took place when I was 15. There is no Statue of limitations so I can but I'm not sure.  There's a lot to think about

  so tried to have the bride call me instead her mom called me.  I called her back and she basically told me she wasn't trained because she still nips, (well she's just barely 4 months and is teething)  and then shamed me saying that if I can go to work for 12 hours then why can't I go to a half hour wedding with family with out a dog.  I tried to say I take her to church and restaurants and pretty much everywhere with me and she doesn't bark and is fine. And by October she will be 4 months older and she has a job that she does for me. And she just coming back to she can be in the hotel just not at the hotel. And I tried to explain that she is trained to do something for me and she said no she's not. Then I lost it and started swearing at her and hung up I can't argue with ignorance. You wouldn't ask a diabetic to leave their insulin pump in the freaking hotel room. What the heck.

Thanks Hope and snowdrop, I really appreciate it.

So I have my puppy who has finished her schooling and become a certified service dog.    Yeah her. But I was basically just told that she isn't allowed at my niece's wedding, so if I want to go she's can't, so I feel like I have to cut my arm of and leave it in the hotel or not go to the wedding.  And I don't think they even understand that. . 

I don't know maybe I am over reacting. I feel like my life is crashing in when I thought things were starting to look up.  It seems so stupid.   

  you can do it remember to breathe

  that's great Jazzy I hope you continue to check in here and let us know how things are going and encourage the rest of us.

  I'm glad you were able to talk to H about it and he apologized. Send a hug of encouragement and comfort

  sending a warm hug to all the parts that want it. Glad your back and feeling stronger.   

  fingers crossed for you I'm sure you did better than you think. Sending positive thoughts and a big hug of peace and comfort.

  it's good to here from you middle Bach. I'm sorry Bach is having such a rough time. The pictures are pretty. I hope your were able to rest. Resting is hard sometimes but very important.  Sending lots of hugs for all the parts. Sorry I've been gone it's been a rough time.

  a gentle hug to all of you and especially your little parts. If that's ok. I'm so sorry that you grew up with this fear and shame.  It is not fair and definitely should not have been yours to carry. You should have been protected. 

I've missed seeing you and hearing from you but I've been MIA too. But know you have continued to be in my heart and thoughts.  Sending a big hug of warmth calming and understanding and no judgement.

  sending a big hug of calm for you Bach. Sorry I've been MIA. I've been pretty low and struggling for a while. But wanted to stop in and let you know you have been in my thoughts and heart.  Sorry to hear that you are struggling to rest and heal.  Sending you a big hug to make you smile.