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Topics - St.ranger

#1
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Jumping in
July 05, 2019, 11:52:58 AM
Hello people :)

I found this forum shortly after a visit (one of many over the years) to the local mental health team, where I heard C-PTSD being spoken by a professional for the first time.
I've always known of the details and intricacies of my complexities, because I have obsessed over them, sat with and sutured them, analysed them into oblivion, along with any grasp on "the self" I had.. and as a result, have strayed to professionals many times seeking external recognition and validation, any form of acknowledgement for the way I experience existence, in a hope that I can finally let go and move on.
Each time I've spoken to a professional, I have attempted to reframe the way I see my "nature" based on the latest theory that could explain how I function the way I do..  I lack a certain Anchorage in identity, and so BPD has also been recently mentioned.
There are so many ways to tell and retell a story, it's hard to define or prioritize one truth over another.

So, I guess that's where I am right now, attempting to find a voice that is my own, one that I'm not fearful of and that isn't sounding out echos of the past..
one that can connect me to others rather than isolating further me from them.

So people, I just want to say, thank you for existing, I'm sorry and I hope you're all gaining strength along your journey.