Hope, Papa Coco and Armee: your thoughtful replies yesterday really helped me. Thank you so much.
Hope, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your compassion. Your words and the hug helped me and my parts feel heard, wanted and cared for. I missed you too.
Papa Coco, thank you for spelling out so clearly why her behaviour came across as narcissistic. I found that helpful because it helped to clarify why the hurtful things were so hurtful. I think part of it was a sense of shock and betrayal as well because H and I had helped her a lot in the past. Thank you.
Armee, thank you for the validation and your thoughts on what happened. I think you're right when you say anyone I'd want to be friends with would likely see past her and know which one is not like the others. My parts appreciated the hug and being told they did a good job. It helped them unblend.
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Yesterday was quite hard, so I decided to take the afternoon off and rest under a weighted blanket. I had company in the form of a lovely fluffy cat. She's not my cat -- she lives a few houses away -- but she comes round to see me every day and I adore her.
I've been ok today.
This afternoon I decided to journey to check up on the parts I've been working with recently. I decided to include the polarised pair I've spoken about the past couple of days.
I first met a part who's been making me dissociate. She said she's been doing it to stop me being overwhelmed. I told her I understood and thanked her, which she appreciated. I offered an alternative solution, which was for me to help heal the parts so she wouldn't need me to dissociate. Also I can listen to parts without them overwhelming me. She thought this sounded good, and agreed to ease off
The protector for the part who spontaneously unburdened had wandered off into the background. When I found her again, she was happy.
The part who spontaneously unburdened was also happy. She's loving her researcher role. I asked if there were any gifts she wanted, there were, so I gave them to her. This made her look brighter.
The part who helped me leave my job is fine, and had also wandered off into the background. I thanked her for her help, and told her how right she'd been. She appreciated me valuing her.
The part who had taken on F's energy was also doing well. She was delighted with the part she was protecting and is happy with her progress. She also told me that she can't give up her role just yet because she's involved with other parts as well; these parts can wait, there's nothing urgent. She seems to have a good relationship with my Self.
The tiny part who'd been dressed as a boy was happily running round wearing fairy wings. I went into the past with her for a do-over. During the do-over, F told her he loved her and valued her as she was. He hugged her and gave her a shiny tiara to wear. She started running round a meadow chasing butterflies, and I left her in a safe space being looked after by fairies.
I met the polarised parts last.
The part who's wary of people welcomed being validated by friends here. I told her I understood why she felt the way she did. She appreciated this. She was a lot less intense than she's been the past couple of days.
The part who felt so hurt by the neighbour also appreciated being validated by friends here. I told her that it made a lot of sense that she felt hurt. She said she'd felt betrayed. She'd thought the neighbour was safe. She also said that she's carrying wounds that go back to other situations. We agreed that she wouldn't overwhelm me, and she'd only let it out in tiny amounts to help with that. I told her that if I'm not overwhelmed, my Self can be with her so has connection and isn't isolated. She loved that and we hugged.
All the parts I saw today were willing to accept love from my Self.
Hope, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your compassion. Your words and the hug helped me and my parts feel heard, wanted and cared for. I missed you too.
Papa Coco, thank you for spelling out so clearly why her behaviour came across as narcissistic. I found that helpful because it helped to clarify why the hurtful things were so hurtful. I think part of it was a sense of shock and betrayal as well because H and I had helped her a lot in the past. Thank you.
Armee, thank you for the validation and your thoughts on what happened. I think you're right when you say anyone I'd want to be friends with would likely see past her and know which one is not like the others. My parts appreciated the hug and being told they did a good job. It helped them unblend.
=====
Yesterday was quite hard, so I decided to take the afternoon off and rest under a weighted blanket. I had company in the form of a lovely fluffy cat. She's not my cat -- she lives a few houses away -- but she comes round to see me every day and I adore her.
I've been ok today.
This afternoon I decided to journey to check up on the parts I've been working with recently. I decided to include the polarised pair I've spoken about the past couple of days.
I first met a part who's been making me dissociate. She said she's been doing it to stop me being overwhelmed. I told her I understood and thanked her, which she appreciated. I offered an alternative solution, which was for me to help heal the parts so she wouldn't need me to dissociate. Also I can listen to parts without them overwhelming me. She thought this sounded good, and agreed to ease off
The protector for the part who spontaneously unburdened had wandered off into the background. When I found her again, she was happy.
The part who spontaneously unburdened was also happy. She's loving her researcher role. I asked if there were any gifts she wanted, there were, so I gave them to her. This made her look brighter.
The part who helped me leave my job is fine, and had also wandered off into the background. I thanked her for her help, and told her how right she'd been. She appreciated me valuing her.
The part who had taken on F's energy was also doing well. She was delighted with the part she was protecting and is happy with her progress. She also told me that she can't give up her role just yet because she's involved with other parts as well; these parts can wait, there's nothing urgent. She seems to have a good relationship with my Self.
The tiny part who'd been dressed as a boy was happily running round wearing fairy wings. I went into the past with her for a do-over. During the do-over, F told her he loved her and valued her as she was. He hugged her and gave her a shiny tiara to wear. She started running round a meadow chasing butterflies, and I left her in a safe space being looked after by fairies.
I met the polarised parts last.
The part who's wary of people welcomed being validated by friends here. I told her I understood why she felt the way she did. She appreciated this. She was a lot less intense than she's been the past couple of days.
The part who felt so hurt by the neighbour also appreciated being validated by friends here. I told her that it made a lot of sense that she felt hurt. She said she'd felt betrayed. She'd thought the neighbour was safe. She also said that she's carrying wounds that go back to other situations. We agreed that she wouldn't overwhelm me, and she'd only let it out in tiny amounts to help with that. I told her that if I'm not overwhelmed, my Self can be with her so has connection and isn't isolated. She loved that and we hugged.
All the parts I saw today were willing to accept love from my Self.