San, Not Alone and Rainy: thank you for your care and support. I value it and appreciate you being there.
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There's part of Chapter 21: Common Comorbidities that deeply resonates. Parts are practically pointing at it and saying "look!" so I'm pasting it below to help them feel heard and witnessed. While the details are different (I didn't have a heart attack and I wasn't a partner), it reminds me of the circumstances under which I left my employment. Reading it brought tears to my eyes because I recognise that parts are still carrying some of their heartbreak for similar reasons. I think I can use this knowledge to help those parts heal.
I recently worked with a client named Antonio who was recovering from a heart attack. Here is a sample of the dialogue we shared:
"Antonio, I wonder if you're open to listening to your parts about your recent heart attack," I said.
"What do you mean? Do you think I caused it or something?"
"No, I'm not saying that at all. I think that there's a strong mind-body connection, and perhaps your parts might be able to help us understand if there's any connection between what they're carrying and your physical symptoms."
"I guess so," Antonio said. "Just ask if any of your parts knows anything about your heart attack."
"This is fascinating," Antonio said with his eyes closed. "I would have never guessed this in a million years. What I'm hearing is that there is a connection to my job: 'You've worked so hard for so many years to become a partner at that firm. You gave them everything—long days and many nights and weekends away from the family. You busted your butt for them, and now this new management team is treating you like crap.' What they are telling me is true. I feel like I have no power anymore. My parts are saying that they're brokenhearted."
"Wow, that makes so much sense to me, Antonio," I responded. "Let them know that we're hearing this."
"Oh, you bet I will. I had no idea that this was going on inside," Antonio said, who then paused a moment. "They say it's 50-50. They say I'm not eating clean and not nearly exercising enough—that half of this is medical and the other 50 percent is about their heartbreak."
"Let them know you're really getting all of this, Antonio."
"You know what? This is an echo of my childhood. I worked so hard as a kid too, trying to get my parents to see me and love me, and it never worked. They were always too busy with one thing or another. They never seemed to have the time to care about me. Now I feel like it's happening all over again at work."
"Let your parts know that there's a way we can help them with the feelings they're carrying about your childhood and that it most likely will help you better manage the current problems at work. Are they interested in that?"
"Yes, definitely. They're so happy we asked them about all of this. They said I wasn't caring about them, in the same way that my employer and parents didn't care about me."
"All of these layers and connections make a lot of sense, Antonio. What do you want to say to them about that?"
"I'm not going to repeat this pattern. The buck stops here," he said with conviction.
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There's part of Chapter 21: Common Comorbidities that deeply resonates. Parts are practically pointing at it and saying "look!" so I'm pasting it below to help them feel heard and witnessed. While the details are different (I didn't have a heart attack and I wasn't a partner), it reminds me of the circumstances under which I left my employment. Reading it brought tears to my eyes because I recognise that parts are still carrying some of their heartbreak for similar reasons. I think I can use this knowledge to help those parts heal.
I recently worked with a client named Antonio who was recovering from a heart attack. Here is a sample of the dialogue we shared:
"Antonio, I wonder if you're open to listening to your parts about your recent heart attack," I said.
"What do you mean? Do you think I caused it or something?"
"No, I'm not saying that at all. I think that there's a strong mind-body connection, and perhaps your parts might be able to help us understand if there's any connection between what they're carrying and your physical symptoms."
"I guess so," Antonio said. "Just ask if any of your parts knows anything about your heart attack."
"This is fascinating," Antonio said with his eyes closed. "I would have never guessed this in a million years. What I'm hearing is that there is a connection to my job: 'You've worked so hard for so many years to become a partner at that firm. You gave them everything—long days and many nights and weekends away from the family. You busted your butt for them, and now this new management team is treating you like crap.' What they are telling me is true. I feel like I have no power anymore. My parts are saying that they're brokenhearted."
"Wow, that makes so much sense to me, Antonio," I responded. "Let them know that we're hearing this."
"Oh, you bet I will. I had no idea that this was going on inside," Antonio said, who then paused a moment. "They say it's 50-50. They say I'm not eating clean and not nearly exercising enough—that half of this is medical and the other 50 percent is about their heartbreak."
"Let them know you're really getting all of this, Antonio."
"You know what? This is an echo of my childhood. I worked so hard as a kid too, trying to get my parents to see me and love me, and it never worked. They were always too busy with one thing or another. They never seemed to have the time to care about me. Now I feel like it's happening all over again at work."
"Let your parts know that there's a way we can help them with the feelings they're carrying about your childhood and that it most likely will help you better manage the current problems at work. Are they interested in that?"
"Yes, definitely. They're so happy we asked them about all of this. They said I wasn't caring about them, in the same way that my employer and parents didn't care about me."
"All of these layers and connections make a lot of sense, Antonio. What do you want to say to them about that?"
"I'm not going to repeat this pattern. The buck stops here," he said with conviction.