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I like my psychiatrist meant stop trying to get my foo to validate my experiences?

This post contains parentification, examples of neglect and strong images

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My foo won't discuss it anymore even my sibling who I could count on.
Neglect started young with not having essentials, dirty clothes we had to wear, eating ruined or moldy food. The emotional aspect was always neglected. My father was an absent tyrant. Mom was cold. At 15 mom left and I chose to run the household and raise my sibling because no one else stepped up. At least we had good food because I shopped cleaned and cooked. We had moved from our condemned trailor by then although that place still gives me nightmares. I gave up a lot. I feel bad when they foo invalidate my feelings and lie about how we were treated. I am trying to stop looking for validation like my psychiatrist said. But it's hard to do.

Seriously felt the pain and frustration of growing up like that. I am sorry. It's so awful they and later men treated you that way.

Very good images and remarkable words.

 
Well said. I enjoyed reading it and hope it's a great coping skill.

No abuse or harm is right. Gender has nothing to do with it. I advocated for men to join in saying #metoo
You matter

Very sorry to whomever felt triggered or saw my post as having graphic details. I now know how to handle it. Again I am so sorry and wish you are well.

Proud that you left and are using your skills. Great job! Glad you are able to cope with triggers. It's a long road I know but we're still on it.

Thanks for all. Yes I am in weekly therapy and have a psychiatrist. It seems like I have been dealing with a heavy load since 5 years old.

Frankly I am having anxiety attacks and aversion in response to even thinking about my father. On the other hand he's one person who listens. He's changed some. I just know that he always creeped me out.

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At 5 he masterbated in front of me. At 11 he got in bed with me and demanded I roll over towards him but I refused and he stomped off. I definitely don't like him touching me.
He made me question every male relationship and during and after sexual abuses I always thought all men would rape me. I went from promiscuous behaviors to times of complete aversion to sex. I hate my tendency to over-sexualize every relationship and have been in dangerous situations.
Basically it all goes back to feeling like that's what I am just a sexual object. I have worked on this and considered cutting all ties with him. This has ruined so many relationships. I want better or be single. I can't even think of dating.

I feel stuck. I have to be home being so ill physically and I isolate out of fear and trying to get away from toxic relationships. I am glad to find this support.
Much of my trauma involves sexual abuse. I literally have such strong reactions to people trying to touch me et c. So I am told I can't be loved. Mental and physical  abuse since age 5 but the last physical abuse was my ex husband. Mental abuse is frequent to this day. And there are so many other traumas I dissociate like now and freeze.
In person everyone is bothered by my need to express it that I feel more alone. I do blame my dad for starting the sexual exploitation and objectification of me. He was always inappropriate. He made me uncomfortable and sexualized me early but I don't have memory of him perpetrating on me. I think it somehow made me a target for the people who did sexually assault me. Does that make sense?

  Thank you for your support

I do, too. You are not alone. We can keep trying to receive love from self and others eventhough we didn't feel it from them.

This last week has felt so lonely and that's saying a lot because I am often by myself. My family have asked me to stop telling them about my trauma and feelings. They want me to only discuss it in therapy. I am still experiencing verbal abuse. I have suffered a lot of abuse assault and neglect.
I am very depressed as well. I keep trying to work through past traumas but it's hard especially while still being abused. My ptsd just tears me up and haunts me. My family blame me for our relationship issues with little accountability on them. I feel very alone.

Welcome. Congratulations on your scholastic successes. I wish you the best. As I am new, too, hope we both find comfort.