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Messages - ShadowsOfLuna

#1
Well yesterday after trying to tell my cousin how alone I feel and how scared and how hurt that I am always left out. I came out about my eating disorder to someone who boasts how supportive she is, and essentially she made sure I knew I had no reason to keep trying with them. My feelings went unacknowledged but they did make sure that I wouldn't reach out again. They are always bragging about my other cousin's remarkable fight and recovery from her ED. And they dont care that Ive almost died from my own a few times.

So that takes the few family I have left and cuts them in half.

Then therapy canceled for the week because of the snowstorm we're getting. Oh but I still need to work. And if Im not pushing myself to go to work, the isolation becomes to much.

People are confusing and it really feels like I cannot win. :'(
#2
General Discussion / Re: Hate being so needy
September 30, 2019, 08:18:31 PM
Recently, I went to a seminar that had a portion on how not to take things personally, which I struggle with a lot and sounds very similar. What they had us do was list as many answers to the question "what else could this mean?" whenever we start feeling upset from someones responses. I find it helps a bit, maybe not 100% but a bit.

And I definitely want to echo what others have been saying that this is definitely progress and you are doing really well with tolerating these feelings and thoughts.
#3
The Cafe / Re: pleasant shows and movie suggestions?
September 30, 2019, 08:11:14 PM
I absolutely LOVE Bob's Burgers. It is always a safe and lovely show. I once had a friend that watched a LOT of Clarence, because it is an even safer show. Very soothing. Bob Ross always has a 24/7 twitch channel.
#4
The Cafe / Re: Humour around cptsd
September 30, 2019, 08:08:23 PM
Quote from: ah on March 25, 2018, 10:42:17 PM
You know, this thread has helped me solidify what I've noticed about abusers: Their Sense of Humor Sucks.

YOU ARE SO RIGHT. My worst ex wouldn't let me laugh at anything or make jokes (which is also a big coping mechanism for me)_ because he would never understand them and it made him angry. He couldn't just be dumb, he had to be angry about being dumb.

Also hey I absolutely love dark humor. And memes.

Sometimes when my friends get into loud arguments I cry out "MOMMY DADDY PLEASE STOP FIGHTING"
#5
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Hey
September 30, 2019, 08:00:26 PM
thank you!
#6
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Hey
September 29, 2019, 02:48:38 AM
 Hello all,

My name is Luna and I am new to these boards but not to CPTSD. I am struggling being on my own without family or many close friendships. Some short backstory is I came from a really abusive family and I wound up in some dangerous situations that led me to move across the country. Which is a life I am building, but there is a lot to struggle with in the meantime.

I am 29, F, in the USA.

I also really really love wolves. And art.