Quote from: missbliss on September 27, 2015, 04:41:48 AM
One of the last places on earth I would enter would be a massage parlour - for anything. Just saying. There are places that should come with warning signs. These are places that are rife with sexual misconduct and employees with mixed signals.
Some places are a problem. However, many are fine. As with any type of business, even in the good places you have a chance of coming across a bad apple. E.g. the finest restaurant can be fooled by a lousy waiter (at least temporarily, which is similar to the masseuse that Kayfly had the misfortune to encounter - the massage place did fire him. I suspect that they are now denying it all only to try and avoid liability issues).
Kayfly had the misfortune of coming across one of these bad apples. She had no way of knowing this would happen and cannot be blamed for wanting to enjoy a massage. It is a shame that it happened to her - was done to her. (actually, more than a shame but I lack the big enough word at the moment). However, there is no shame or blame to be attributed to her for trying this activity. I feel angry on Kayfly's behalf and sympathetic toward her. I also feel respect for her that she went for the massage in the first place. For many of us that type of activity can difficult, especially those of us who experienced CSA. I know my first visit to a spa for a massage was initially terrifying.* If my sisters had not been with me, I might have chickened out.
Personally, I now see going for a massage as a form of self care. I have gone for massages where I used to lived. I continue to go to a place close to where I am now. I am fortunate that I have never had to deal with the type of creep that Kayfly encountered, and suspect I likely would have responded in the same 'delayed response' type of way. However, I have gone to the current place several times and while I know that there is a chance that I might come across a creep, I also have experienced many benefits from getting a massage. So, personally, I will continue to go.
*Kayfly, if you are reading this, my apologies for speaking about you in the 3rd person. Please read 'you' when I say 'she' and 'her'. I really do feel that you had every right to go for a massage and to want to do something nice for yourself. I also very sincerely believe - know - that the blame lies entirely on the creep that did this to you, compounded by the ignorant people you have to deal with since.