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I have been struggling intensely with the symptoms of CPTSD,  and I feel like its taking me under. I feel like terror is lurking behind me. And inside of me. I cannot get out of the triggered state. I feel like repressed memories are trying to push through, and its so scary. I feel so alone. I'm trying to process the way it feels and I can't.  I need relief because I really can't stand it anymore. I've done all I can to push through.  The dread,  the flashbacks,  the regret and the shame are just too much. I have brought trauma from my childhood into my family. It's like a poison.  I thought I could end the trauma at me,  but my kids are affected,  and now my grandkids. I cannot bear all this pain. 

So grateful to have found you all here!  Thankful for the friend that told me about this group!
I am 57 years old, have been on my healing journey for a little over 2 years now, and the triggering is getting worse and worse as I get closer to recovering some repressed memories.  I am a survivor of emotional abuse and neglect, and went from two narcissistic parents into a marriage with a partner with narcissistic tendencies.  I am in a very good therapeutic relationship, but continue to struggle as I learn to place healthy boundaries, find my own voice, and to power through the pain of healing.  I have 4 grown children, all married, but the oldest is possibly a diagnosable narcissist, separated from his wife and 4 children, and not responding at ALL to therapy.  We haven't seen those 4 grandchildren in many years.  It is all so scary and painful, and I have been really struggling to hold it together.  I have been struggling with chronic illness for 30 years now, I am sure is a result of trauma injury.  I am hoping I am explaining things well, but at times I struggle to think clearly.  I am so grateful for a group of people that don't think it is strange for me to feel the way I do.  Anyone else struggling, and surrounded by narcissism?  Any advice would be well received :-)