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Messages - keepfighting

Pages: 1 ... 19 20 [21]
301
Hi, Kizzie and globetrotter,

thanks for the warm welcome!

Kizzie, you're absolutely right when you say that getting the diagnosis CPTSD was a lot to take in - but also kind of a relief because it made sense.

I'm not sure how much some of the books might mean to you since two of them are in Dutch. As far as I can tell they haven't been translated into English. For one of them I think it's a shame because it's very insightful and validating and offering (realistic) perspectives of a brighter future for adult survivors of a toxic childhood.

Some of the exercises that helped me a lot were:

- Exercises to help me differentiate more emotions than the 4 basic ones (fear-joy-desperation and sadness). They were aimed at recognizing the different physical symptoms that accompany different emotions and to bring down the intensity of (negative) emotions into recognizable sizes that are easier to deal with. Basically, 'jittery' is easier to deal with than fullblown 'fear'.  It was surprisingly difficult - still haven't mastered it completely.
- Exercises that let you feel the (negative) emotion but at the same time knowing it's in the past and you're safe in the present. My t called it the 'cinema experience': The emotions are real but there is no actual hurt or danger to your person.

I'm reading Pete Walkers book right now (little pieces at a time). I think it has a lot to offer.

Well it's a long journey and I'm glad there are people here who understand and are willing to offer support and validation.

keepfighting

302
General Discussion / Re: Slow Go
« on: August 27, 2014, 05:12:07 PM »
Wow, it sounds like you're taking a lot of steps to get better. Good going!

I am reluctant to give any tips, just share what works for me:

- volunteer work (I help immigrants with the language)
- exercise (for me, walking and cardio exercise work very relaxing and help take my mind off things)
- taking a nice warm bath
- reading chicklits (blushing now - ;) )

For me, engaging in activities and helping people with a completely different set of problems than my own actually helps with my own (ongoing) recovery. Clears my head or something... 

303
Hi, everyone,

I grew up in a family with an overt NPD father and a covert NPD mother.  I was the oldest of 4, the SG, the maid and 'mother' to my siblings. At an early age, I was already saddled with a lot of responsibilities (I started writing a journal on my 8th birthday and it already speaks of me having to cook for the family when my mom was away because my father refused to do 'woman's work').

When my oldest kid was 2 years old, I went into therapy. My earliest memory of abuse by my mother goes back to the time when I was about 2 1/2 years old and as my child approached that age, I could no longer deny (to myself) that I had had a bad childhood and that I needed help.

I was diagnosed with PTSD and mild depression. When I first heard that, I was soooo relieved - I had thought there was something 'seriously wrong' with me and this sounded harmless enough (my mother had often told me when I cried over something that had happened that I was a total mental case and would be committed to a mental unit should I ever look for help). I got CBT and that stabilized my symptoms. My t also gave me some tools to battle on. All in all I was happy with the results of the t.

Last year, I had some minor medical problems that were misdiagnosed and maltreated by my GP. As a result, infection spread through parts of my body and left me (nearly) immobilized for a few months and I went into a major depression. So I recontacted my therapist. We discussed a lot of things and she told me that I did in fact have CPTSD and recommended a few books and exercises to help me some more - as well as help me get out of my depression.

By now I understand that there is nothing harmless about CPTSD. It is a lifelong struggle and even though there are times when I feel quite ok, it doesn't take much to let my old fears and insecurities destroy my inner peace.

I'm glad I found this forum (through Out of the Fog). IRL I hardly ever talk about this.

Thanks for reading.

keepfighting




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