Recent posts
#1
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: New here
Last post by Abitbroken - Today at 09:46:44 AMQuote from: Blueberry on Today at 02:15:53 AMA warm welcome to the forum, abitbroken!
Thank you Blueberry
#2
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: New here
Last post by Abitbroken - Today at 09:46:00 AMQuote from: TheBigBlue on December 12, 2025, 08:54:34 PMHi, welcome.
What you describe resonates with a lot of people here. Feeling emotions primarily in the body, switching between a logical autopilot and overwhelm, and spending enormous energy managing thoughts and emotions are very common trauma adaptations, especially when emotions weren't safe, welcomed, or supported earlier on.
Something about your screen name stood out to me too. "Abitbroken" sounds like someone who knows something hurts, but is also minimizing it: not broken, just a bit. I used to say (and still sometimes do), "it wasn't that bad," "others had it worse," "I should be able to cope." That kind of minimizing is itself very common in trauma. One thing I read on this forum that really landed for me was this: if you have the symptoms of CPTSD, then it WAS THAT bad. Trauma isn't defined by what happened objectively, but by what the nervous system had to do to survive it.
I'm still learning about this myself, so I'm not trying to give advice, but from what you wrote, I recognize and resonate with many of the patterns you describe.
You're not broken. It sounds more like your system learned very effective ways to function under pressure or adverse conditions - logic, control, distraction - and now those strategies are exhausting you. The fact that this feels hard doesn't mean you're failing; it may mean you've been carrying too much for too long, largely on your own.
I'm really glad you reached out and found this forum - this community. You're not alone here.
Hi TheBigBlue - thank you so much for taking the time to write such a long response. It is incredibly helpful to hear that I am not the only one who feels like this - I find that every day is like a constant battle between feeling nothing, literally nothing, doing tasks, (logic / autopilot) pushing the "unhelpful" thoughts out of my head, trying to distract, be mindful (I struggle a lot with that), trying to hold it all together at work and then bracing for the "emotion" which is usually - well, the only word I can find to describe it is pain. Sometimes it feels annihilating and trying to label it as unexpressed emotion as I have been advised to - maybe lessens the duration - but it is still horrific and inside those waves it is so utterly lonely.
I am trying to accept that I have "trauma" (I don't know what) but I do feel like I am being a big baby and should be handling myself a lot better than I am - I think I am at the beginning of understanding any of this!
Hearing that I am not alone in experiencing some of these problems is relieving.. and also so terribly sad, as I would never wish anyone to EVER feel like this or have to live like this. It is exhausting and soul destroying.
I have started therapy - which I think has made things worse, almost like it has opened up something - and we haven't talked much about my life - just how I am feeling now, and trying to find ways to manage. It is just so tiring!
May I ask, has your experience of allowing this to land "if you have the symptoms of CPTSD, then it WAS THAT bad." helped you and how difficult / easy was it for it to actually be fully absorbed? I struggle with logically understanding things when they are explained by my therapist (oh ok that makes logical sense) - but they don't seem to sink in any further.
Also if it has sunk in, did that make things easier for you?
Sorry if the questions are silly and my post is repetitive, and thank you again for your reply
back at you #3
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Hello
Last post by TheBigBlue - Today at 07:09:26 AMWelcome, samereflection1001.
I'm really glad you found your way here. What you wrote about finally having a diagnosis that fits resonates a lot; that mix of pain and relief is something many of us recognize.
I only have direct experience with CBT (I'm doing it twice a week right now). It can be helpful for me, especially because I'm fairly analytical and high-functioning - but only when my therapist is very attuned and actively co-regulates with me when I'm dysregulated. At times, CBT has also been destabilizing for me; trying to "think my way out" of fear when a very young, scared part is present didn't work and actually made things worse.
I hope others with experience in DBT, psychodynamic therapy, EMDR, and other approaches will chime in. You're not alone in trying to sort out what helps and what doesn't. I'm glad you're here.
I'm really glad you found your way here. What you wrote about finally having a diagnosis that fits resonates a lot; that mix of pain and relief is something many of us recognize.
I only have direct experience with CBT (I'm doing it twice a week right now). It can be helpful for me, especially because I'm fairly analytical and high-functioning - but only when my therapist is very attuned and actively co-regulates with me when I'm dysregulated. At times, CBT has also been destabilizing for me; trying to "think my way out" of fear when a very young, scared part is present didn't work and actually made things worse.
I hope others with experience in DBT, psychodynamic therapy, EMDR, and other approaches will chime in. You're not alone in trying to sort out what helps and what doesn't. I'm glad you're here.
#4
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: New here
Last post by Blueberry - Today at 02:15:53 AMA warm welcome to the forum, abitbroken!
#5
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Hello
Last post by Blueberry - Today at 02:14:43 AMWelcome to the forum samereflection1001
I think you will find that a ton of people on here relate to all sorts. I've noticed that there's always at least one member who writes they resonate with what feels like the most outlandish symptoms or reactions I have. That comes as a relief to me.
Sorry I don't know about DBT because where I am (not a majority country on OOTS) therapy isn't divided up that way - therapists may teach you coping skills or whatever but don't tend to tell you from what particular field they come from, and also mix-and-match from skills from a different set as well. I'm sure others on here will get back to you though.
I think you will find that a ton of people on here relate to all sorts. I've noticed that there's always at least one member who writes they resonate with what feels like the most outlandish symptoms or reactions I have. That comes as a relief to me.
Sorry I don't know about DBT because where I am (not a majority country on OOTS) therapy isn't divided up that way - therapists may teach you coping skills or whatever but don't tend to tell you from what particular field they come from, and also mix-and-match from skills from a different set as well. I'm sure others on here will get back to you though.
#6
Podcasts, Videos & Documentaries / Re: Film: If an Owl Calls Your...
Last post by Blueberry - Today at 02:05:53 AMYou're very welcome SenseOrgan! I'm always happy to hear that maybe one person benefitted from me having posted this kind of event.
#7
Inner Child Work / Re: Learning to write
Last post by Saluki - December 12, 2025, 11:31:31 PMI'm so sorry it was like that for you too, Desert Flower
Desert Flower #8
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Hello
Last post by samereflection1001 - December 12, 2025, 10:26:09 PMA couple of years ago, I was diagnosed with CPTSD by a psychiatrist, who suggested that I begin with DBT for emotional regulation. Before that, several therapists had told me I had PTSD, but it wasn't until I spoke with the psychiatrist that I understood there is a difference between the two.
Realizing this was painful, but it was also the first time I felt I had a diagnosis that truly fit my experiences. After reading more about CPTSD, I found this site and felt it might be a place where others could relate.
I haven't been able to start DBT yet because I've been moving between countries, but I'd really like to understand its impact. I'd appreciate hearing from anyone who has done DBT and how it helped (or didn't).
Realizing this was painful, but it was also the first time I felt I had a diagnosis that truly fit my experiences. After reading more about CPTSD, I found this site and felt it might be a place where others could relate.
I haven't been able to start DBT yet because I've been moving between countries, but I'd really like to understand its impact. I'd appreciate hearing from anyone who has done DBT and how it helped (or didn't).
#9
Self-Help & Recovery / Has anyone experienced involun...
Last post by samereflection1001 - December 12, 2025, 10:08:39 PMI've noticed something I feel embarrassed about, and I'm trying to understand it rather than judge it.
When I'm alone and very deep in thought usually replaying something embarrassing or painful. I sometimes say something out loud without intending to. This can be calling my husband's name, asking for a hug, or saying "don't leave me alone."
This has been happening for about 20 years or more. I tend to call out to whoever I'm living with or closest to at the time. It feels involuntary, and I don't have control over it in the moment. I'm not actually expecting a response from the other person it's more like something that happens until I come back to myself.
It doesn't happen in public, and I'm fully aware when it occurs. It feels automatic, almost like my body trying to interrupt emotional discomfort or rumination.
I grew up without consistent emotional support, and I wonder if this could be related to how my nervous system learned to self-soothe under stress.
A few years ago, a psychiatrist suggested this might be related to CPTSD and recommended starting with DBT for emotional regulation. Due to moving between countries, I haven't been able to follow through with consistent treatment yet.
I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar, and what helped them understand or reduce it.
When I'm alone and very deep in thought usually replaying something embarrassing or painful. I sometimes say something out loud without intending to. This can be calling my husband's name, asking for a hug, or saying "don't leave me alone."
This has been happening for about 20 years or more. I tend to call out to whoever I'm living with or closest to at the time. It feels involuntary, and I don't have control over it in the moment. I'm not actually expecting a response from the other person it's more like something that happens until I come back to myself.
It doesn't happen in public, and I'm fully aware when it occurs. It feels automatic, almost like my body trying to interrupt emotional discomfort or rumination.
I grew up without consistent emotional support, and I wonder if this could be related to how my nervous system learned to self-soothe under stress.
A few years ago, a psychiatrist suggested this might be related to CPTSD and recommended starting with DBT for emotional regulation. Due to moving between countries, I haven't been able to follow through with consistent treatment yet.
I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar, and what helped them understand or reduce it.
#10
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: New here
Last post by TheBigBlue - December 12, 2025, 08:54:34 PMHi, welcome.
What you describe resonates with a lot of people here. Feeling emotions primarily in the body, switching between a logical autopilot and overwhelm, and spending enormous energy managing thoughts and emotions are very common trauma adaptations, especially when emotions weren't safe, welcomed, or supported earlier on.
Something about your screen name stood out to me too. "Abitbroken" sounds like someone who knows something hurts, but is also minimizing it: not broken, just a bit. I used to say (and still sometimes do), "it wasn't that bad," "others had it worse," "I should be able to cope." That kind of minimizing is itself very common in trauma. One thing I read on this forum that really landed for me was this: if you have the symptoms of CPTSD, then it WAS THAT bad. Trauma isn't defined by what happened objectively, but by what the nervous system had to do to survive it.
I'm still learning about this myself, so I'm not trying to give advice, but from what you wrote, I recognize and resonate with many of the patterns you describe.
You're not broken. It sounds more like your system learned very effective ways to function under pressure or adverse conditions - logic, control, distraction - and now those strategies are exhausting you. The fact that this feels hard doesn't mean you're failing; it may mean you've been carrying too much for too long, largely on your own.
I'm really glad you reached out and found this forum - this community. You're not alone here.
What you describe resonates with a lot of people here. Feeling emotions primarily in the body, switching between a logical autopilot and overwhelm, and spending enormous energy managing thoughts and emotions are very common trauma adaptations, especially when emotions weren't safe, welcomed, or supported earlier on.
Something about your screen name stood out to me too. "Abitbroken" sounds like someone who knows something hurts, but is also minimizing it: not broken, just a bit. I used to say (and still sometimes do), "it wasn't that bad," "others had it worse," "I should be able to cope." That kind of minimizing is itself very common in trauma. One thing I read on this forum that really landed for me was this: if you have the symptoms of CPTSD, then it WAS THAT bad. Trauma isn't defined by what happened objectively, but by what the nervous system had to do to survive it.
I'm still learning about this myself, so I'm not trying to give advice, but from what you wrote, I recognize and resonate with many of the patterns you describe.
You're not broken. It sounds more like your system learned very effective ways to function under pressure or adverse conditions - logic, control, distraction - and now those strategies are exhausting you. The fact that this feels hard doesn't mean you're failing; it may mean you've been carrying too much for too long, largely on your own.
I'm really glad you reached out and found this forum - this community. You're not alone here.