Recent posts

#1
July 18 2025

I don't know how to describe it.  Had the thought that when the former spouse finds out that I'm actually a member of a actual Native Nation, that's going to make her spin up and do a emotional freak out / melt down / or ???? .  She always had the "story" that somewhere in her past she was related to Sitting Bull via Indian Princess.  I smiled at that thought.

I better explain how she would be informed of my status.  Step son was living with me at the time when the documents and ID's of the tribe came via snail mail.  He was in the room when I opened the package and in my amazement and joy I shared what the ID's were.  Step son claims that he doesn't talk with her.  That I believe.  However he talks with his uncle.  And his uncle talks to his sister the step sons mother.  So yeah, will eventually get there.  I went ghost with her, her brother, her uncles / aunts, friends, the whole kit and caboodle.  Since step son is no longer living under the same roof, the possibilities of further information leaks has dropped dramatically.  I also figure that once I move I'll be changing my # into a new one anyway.

Wishing all the brave souls here, all the best
#2
Medication / Re: considering starting meds ...
Last post by Blueberry - Today at 08:19:20 PM
That sounds a little hopeful, anyway. I like the way you say "neutrally hopeful". I understand being nervous. I know you have to wait a little still, but I hope this ends up being at least half-way helpful.
#3
Medication / Re: considering starting meds ...
Last post by asdis - Today at 06:54:01 PM
Our therapist recently started at a new practice that has in-house psychiatry, and managed to find a psych there who's had prior experience with DID (read: one patient). We're still nervous, especially because it'll be another month before we even do intake with the psych, but we're trying to be neutrally hopeful. Our therapist has already given the psych a brief history of our past experience with psych meds and explained that we are still very hesitant to take anything, and also that we don't have a full list of past medications. There should already be understanding that this is a very uncomfortable situation for us and that our behaviors (skin picking, hair obsession, taking longer to answer questions, etc) are tied to anxiety and dissociation, so hopefully they don't negatively affect how the psych sees us.
#4
Recovery Journals / Re: starting over
Last post by sanmagic7 - Today at 01:57:04 PM
sleep is still spotty, altho some nights are better than others.  i'm beginning to tell myself it's ok if i don't sleep, i can sleep during the day if i need to, or i can just do whatever i need to do while feeling tired - it's not as if i haven't done that before!

my D had to make another visit to the oncologist, this time to get a prescription for the hormone therapy she's sposed to be on for the next 5 yrs.  it was more distressing than either of us imagined.  major triggers just going down those same streets that we had to use for all the radiation treatments.  it's taken us several days to recover, and since she has anxiety around taking pills, she still hasn't started, so the recovery isn't complete yet.

this crapola is the friggin' worst!
#5
Recovery Journals / Re: I Am
Last post by sanmagic7 - Today at 01:51:04 PM
bach, is there any way you can have that tantrum?  or some modification of it?  does it help to write all that stuff out?  at one time i kept an anger journal, and it was for nothing but that, being angry about people, circumstances, situations in my past/present. i'd start writing (always using a red pen - that signified anger for me) words, and often they morphed into scribbles, slashes, tearing the page, swearing, etc.  and when i filled one notebook, i'd immediately walk it outside, out of my home, and put it in the trash.

it was very cathartic for me, as far as it went.  it was the closest i've ever come to having a tantrum.  of course, i had to soothe myself afterwards - i've always been missing that part as well, having someone soothe me.  i get you.  love and hugs :hug:
#6
Recovery Journals / Re: Hope's Journal 2025
Last post by sanmagic7 - Today at 01:45:41 PM
i think that's great, hope.  more self-care.  yay!!!  as always, it seems, we're the last to know about ourselves.  love and hugs :hug:
#7
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Alice a long term survivor...
Last post by Kizzie - July 17, 2025, 06:09:29 PM
I'm locking this as this person has left the forum.
#8
DR - Disturbed Relationships / Re: Calling someone out
Last post by Kizzie - July 17, 2025, 06:08:00 PM
If you're annoyed/angry (and I would be), maybe do yourself a favour, be straight, tell him you overheard what he said and ask him why he thinks you're not interested when you've told him on more than one occasion his class conflicts with another one you want to take.

I mean why would he say that? JMO but I do think what his said is a reflection of his own securities. That is, no matter that you've told him about the conflict he sees it as you not wanting to take his class and giving an excuse. It sounds like he feels somewhat rejected.   

People eh?
#9
Recovery Journals / Re: Hope's Journal 2025
Last post by Blueberry - July 17, 2025, 04:44:27 PM
 :cheer:
#10
Recovery Journals / Re: I Am
Last post by Bach - July 17, 2025, 03:08:51 PM
Boy do I get tired of emotional control sometimes. Sometimes I really just want to have tantrum. A big cathartic explosion of chaotic and unreasonable feelings. A purge of everything I spend all my time and energy to hold back, transmogrify, warp, morph, justify, minimise, neutralise, intellectualise, contain. I want it out of me, all of it. Kicking and screaming. I want to disturb, unsettle, frighten, distress like I used to when I was a kid and there were no holds barred when protesting my unjust treatment and my unmet needs. But then be comforted, tended to, understood. Validated. Helped. Soothed.  Loved. Like I certainly never was back then. I want to be taken care of. I'm so sick of having to be an adult when I was never allowed to be a child.