Recent posts
#1
Recovery Journals / Re: Ran's journey
Last post by Ran - Today at 10:44:54 PMSo far the things that have helped me
- inner child work (creating routines, creativity, storytelling);
- having supportive person in my life;
I need to do a lot more research, but these are the ways to heal I have so far.
I have huge abandonment fear and getting attached to people, so it's something I need to deal with.
Today I was sad about not being made a mod in a server as I've been mod in many other their servers, but there are new people and they do things differently. I shouldn't be like this I mean I'm an adult and they bunch of teenagers and people who are young adult. I should be able to be over it, but if they chat in their private chatrooms, then it makes me feels very much exluded. I start thinking thkngs like that no one needs me. I cried even. I feel ashamed of crying over something like this. I guess it's about inclusivity, community, friend group, feeling like you belong and are important and useful, rather than just being there and existing in a space.
- inner child work (creating routines, creativity, storytelling);
- having supportive person in my life;
I need to do a lot more research, but these are the ways to heal I have so far.
I have huge abandonment fear and getting attached to people, so it's something I need to deal with.
Today I was sad about not being made a mod in a server as I've been mod in many other their servers, but there are new people and they do things differently. I shouldn't be like this I mean I'm an adult and they bunch of teenagers and people who are young adult. I should be able to be over it, but if they chat in their private chatrooms, then it makes me feels very much exluded. I start thinking thkngs like that no one needs me. I cried even. I feel ashamed of crying over something like this. I guess it's about inclusivity, community, friend group, feeling like you belong and are important and useful, rather than just being there and existing in a space.
#2
General Discussion / Re: Website or book recommenda...
Last post by Chart - Today at 08:50:09 PMHi EB, perhaps you could suggest to your partner to have a look at this forum. It is open to everyone to read. To post your need to register, but just reading through some of the recovery journals might give your partner a deeper insight into what Cptsd is and how different people are currently coping with it.
This is an interesting thread that seems applicable:
https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=13689.0
All the best, chart
This is an interesting thread that seems applicable:
https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=13689.0
All the best, chart
#3
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Hi everyone
Last post by Chart - Today at 08:46:49 PMHi Teddy bear, I don't have an official diagnosis of Cptsd either. I think very few people around the globe have that, due to lack of awareness mostly. I'm sorry to hear about your trauma experiences. I find this Forum very supportive and I think you will find acceptance and understanding, along with a lot of information and experience.
Welcome to the Forum
Chart
Welcome to the Forum
Chart
#4
Recovery Journals / Re: The tipping point…
Last post by Chart - Today at 08:41:23 PMThank you everyone. I'm rolling forward, struggling, but there is momentum.
Brain fog all the time, hate it, but know why it's there; late this morning, snow, driving in snow, missed my alarm, made a tea nonetheless, arrived late, did Emdr with my therapist anyway (was worried we wouldn't due to lateness, realized Emdr can be "shoot from the hip" Here are the Emdr thoughts, (one of which I can't mention for fear of spoiling the book... Sorry I can't explain, but I mention it here for me to remember... not that I think I'll forget, it's just part of a larger scenario in the script of my life at present.)
Talk therapy is 99.99% useless... Emdr is linking the two hemisphere's, bringing the right into the equation... why doesn't the right brain have more say? Just because it's less implicated in survival?
Preverbal EMDR is possible, more than possible. The mysterious triggers surrounding preverbal flashbacks are the bridges to return to the root trauma. Then TRUST THE GUT.
My mother is just horribly horribly lost...
The Fear came AFTER my father disappeared, my mother could not SAVE anyone, especially herself, she asked me to do it, but I couldn't...
I realized the metaphor of the action done in the book by Norman Maclean...
There was something else, something else that came up in Emdr session this morning... it'll come, gotta brush my teeth.
Trying to get back in Keto. Skipped PMR this morning... hmm... Want to mention so many things... for some reason the movie Bugsy Mallone comes to mind... the guns that shoot cream puffs... my ex-g was obsessed with that movie, what a strange girl... thinking about her today did not bring up pain... something's working.
Brain fog all the time, hate it, but know why it's there; late this morning, snow, driving in snow, missed my alarm, made a tea nonetheless, arrived late, did Emdr with my therapist anyway (was worried we wouldn't due to lateness, realized Emdr can be "shoot from the hip" Here are the Emdr thoughts, (one of which I can't mention for fear of spoiling the book... Sorry I can't explain, but I mention it here for me to remember... not that I think I'll forget, it's just part of a larger scenario in the script of my life at present.)
Talk therapy is 99.99% useless... Emdr is linking the two hemisphere's, bringing the right into the equation... why doesn't the right brain have more say? Just because it's less implicated in survival?
Preverbal EMDR is possible, more than possible. The mysterious triggers surrounding preverbal flashbacks are the bridges to return to the root trauma. Then TRUST THE GUT.
My mother is just horribly horribly lost...
The Fear came AFTER my father disappeared, my mother could not SAVE anyone, especially herself, she asked me to do it, but I couldn't...
I realized the metaphor of the action done in the book by Norman Maclean...
There was something else, something else that came up in Emdr session this morning... it'll come, gotta brush my teeth.
Trying to get back in Keto. Skipped PMR this morning... hmm... Want to mention so many things... for some reason the movie Bugsy Mallone comes to mind... the guns that shoot cream puffs... my ex-g was obsessed with that movie, what a strange girl... thinking about her today did not bring up pain... something's working.
#5
New Members / Re: What's in a Name - Part 3
Last post by Teddy bear - Today at 08:08:40 PMHi,
It's very comforting for me to think about a toy from a childhood and to identify with it, and also almost anthropomorphism for me ☺️🧸
It's very comforting for me to think about a toy from a childhood and to identify with it, and also almost anthropomorphism for me ☺️🧸
#6
General Discussion / Re: Website or book recommenda...
Last post by EB - Today at 06:54:45 PMThanks Sense Organ and Kizzie.
I'll look into both of those.
Mostly it's do partner better understands my inner experiences.
'Cause, gosh I always look together on the outside.
I'll look into both of those.
Mostly it's do partner better understands my inner experiences.
'Cause, gosh I always look together on the outside.
#7
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Hi everyone
Last post by Teddy bear - Today at 05:39:45 PMNew Year greetings and hello to everyone,
I hope to find support and acceptance here from the community.
I don't have an official diagnosis of cPTSD as in my country ICD 11 is still not accepted.
Also I had a few episodes of psychosis, so they gave me another diagnosis (though I don't agree with it, as it doesn't take into account the trauma since early childhood).
Adult years of my life have been also marked by trauma not only from the family of origin, but due to compulsion to repeat trauma and probably boundary issues etc.
Still I hope to find some light here on this board, some people with similar experiences,
Glad to meet you
I hope to find support and acceptance here from the community.
I don't have an official diagnosis of cPTSD as in my country ICD 11 is still not accepted.
Also I had a few episodes of psychosis, so they gave me another diagnosis (though I don't agree with it, as it doesn't take into account the trauma since early childhood).
Adult years of my life have been also marked by trauma not only from the family of origin, but due to compulsion to repeat trauma and probably boundary issues etc.
Still I hope to find some light here on this board, some people with similar experiences,
Glad to meet you
#8
General Discussion / Re: Website or book recommenda...
Last post by Kizzie - Today at 04:57:55 PMHere's a book you might find useful EB. I haven't read it but it sounds good and got a 4.6/5 rating on GoodReads:
Moving On After Trauma: A Guide for Survivors, Family and Friends by Michael J. Scott
The effects of extreme trauma can continue to be emotionally devastating. Moving On After Trauma offers hope, providing survivors, family members and friends with a roadmap for managing emotional, relationship, physical and legal obstacles to recovery. Dr Scott details examples of the strategies used by twenty characters who have recovered and the survivor (with or without the help of a family member, friend or counsellor) is encouraged to identify with one or more of them and follow in their footsteps.
Moving On After Trauma: A Guide for Survivors, Family and Friends by Michael J. Scott
The effects of extreme trauma can continue to be emotionally devastating. Moving On After Trauma offers hope, providing survivors, family members and friends with a roadmap for managing emotional, relationship, physical and legal obstacles to recovery. Dr Scott details examples of the strategies used by twenty characters who have recovered and the survivor (with or without the help of a family member, friend or counsellor) is encouraged to identify with one or more of them and follow in their footsteps.
#9
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Looking for hope...
Last post by Kizzie - Today at 04:44:30 PMHi and a warm welcome to Out of the Storm Ray 
Lots of great feedback for you and connection above which is part of what helps many survivors who come here. Members just get it so it feels safe and comforting.
I am one for whom healing/recovery means now having fewer and less intense triggers, knowing what my triggers are and what to do, being kind and compassionate with myself, shushing my Inner Critic, and connecting with others. I have looked straight on at some of the really painful things in my life (like your family's betrayal) and have let go of the need for my family to change, be the people I deserved/needed. They just can't/won't and chasing that is an exercise in futility and pain. Once I realized that, I let go of them and the wish/hope I'd been clinging to. It was very painful but also freeing and over time I was less impacted by it, mainly because other things opened up in my life.
I don't know if this will help, but I hope so.
Lots of great feedback for you and connection above which is part of what helps many survivors who come here. Members just get it so it feels safe and comforting.
I am one for whom healing/recovery means now having fewer and less intense triggers, knowing what my triggers are and what to do, being kind and compassionate with myself, shushing my Inner Critic, and connecting with others. I have looked straight on at some of the really painful things in my life (like your family's betrayal) and have let go of the need for my family to change, be the people I deserved/needed. They just can't/won't and chasing that is an exercise in futility and pain. Once I realized that, I let go of them and the wish/hope I'd been clinging to. It was very painful but also freeing and over time I was less impacted by it, mainly because other things opened up in my life.
I don't know if this will help, but I hope so.
#10
General Discussion / Re: Website or book recommenda...
Last post by SenseOrgan - Today at 02:33:49 PMWelcome here EB.
For me, reading Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker was a watershed moment. I highly recommend starting there. Also for partners. Especially knowing what an emotional flashback means can be helpful to understand what the other person is going through. If you're looking for sources that are aimed at support for partners, I honestly don't know a single one. I think that isn't covered yet.
Good luck!
For me, reading Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker was a watershed moment. I highly recommend starting there. Also for partners. Especially knowing what an emotional flashback means can be helpful to understand what the other person is going through. If you're looking for sources that are aimed at support for partners, I honestly don't know a single one. I think that isn't covered yet.
Good luck!