Recent posts
#1
Recovery Journals / Re: I Am
Last post by Bach - Today at 02:49:15 AMI'm so overwhelmed by life. By feelings for which I have no outlet. I used to cry too easily and now I cannot cry at all. I think it would help if I could cry. Cry or scream or even vomit maybe. Something. Anything to release this feeling of being stuck, of being trapped, of being stuffed full of doubt and pain and discontent. Like a junk food binge without the junk food.
#2
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: New here
Last post by Kia1212 - Today at 12:03:22 AMHi Recovery 68, I am also 68 years old and will be 69 in 2 weeks. Never knew I was complex PTSD until I just burnt out, could not go on at all. It was about 2 years ago. All due to extreme emotional, psychological abuses from my narc ex and family of origin. I went no contact completely last year and I can say I feel better, most days. The hardest thing is knowing that narcs never acknowledge or admit their faults. It took me almost 67 years to see that. But at least I don't have to put up with the no empathy, righteousness of everyone. It was disgusting. Hope you find some inner peace.
#3
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Definitely still out in th...
Last post by Kia1212 - November 30, 2025, 11:55:26 PMWelcome Big Blue, sounds like you have been through a lot. Hope you find some solace here.
#4
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: New Member Intro
Last post by Kia1212 - November 30, 2025, 11:52:23 PMWelcome. Hope you find some inner peace here. It does help to express your feelings.
#5
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Introduction
Last post by Kia1212 - November 30, 2025, 11:49:29 PMHi DawnMaria - sorry you are suffering. I never imagined in my life that my senior years would be spent recuperating from extreme domestic violence (complex PTSD). Seems like there is an epidemic occurring throughout the world. My opinion is that it is all about patriarchy. Until we recognize it we keep repeating the same old, same old. Hope you find relief from this. It is better to be free of the abusers and that is a great thing! Please find peace.
#6
Recovery Journals / Re: Marcine’s journaling forwa...
Last post by TheBigBlue - November 30, 2025, 11:15:02 PMYour post touched me so deeply. The way you described that mix of longing and terror - wanting connection but bracing for danger - is exactly where I keep finding myself too. I actually tried starting a recovery journal last week, and I spiraled so hard afterward that I ended up deleting everything yesterday.
Reading your words: the courage, the clarity, the way you honor both the fear and the part of you that wants to be seen, gives me hope that I might try again someday. The fact that you tapped "post," even with your heart pounding and old danger signals firing, is incredibly inspiring.
You made this space feel a little safer for the rest of us who are inching our way toward authenticity too. Thank you for sharing something so raw and brave. It matters. And it helped me more than you might realize.
Reading your words: the courage, the clarity, the way you honor both the fear and the part of you that wants to be seen, gives me hope that I might try again someday. The fact that you tapped "post," even with your heart pounding and old danger signals firing, is incredibly inspiring.
You made this space feel a little safer for the rest of us who are inching our way toward authenticity too. Thank you for sharing something so raw and brave. It matters. And it helped me more than you might realize.
#7
Successes, Progress? / Re: Setting boundaries
Last post by TheBigBlue - November 30, 2025, 10:58:13 PMThat's such a powerful moment. 
This was a huge act of protection for your inner child. You honored your truth instead of defaulting to old survival patterns, and that's real freedom.
I'm really glad you shared this, it's inspiring to read.
This was a huge act of protection for your inner child. You honored your truth instead of defaulting to old survival patterns, and that's real freedom.
I'm really glad you shared this, it's inspiring to read.
#8
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Introduction
Last post by TheBigBlue - November 30, 2025, 10:47:18 PMHi DawnMaria, 
I'm really glad you're here. I'm so sorry you're struggling - being in survival mode and having all the trauma responses firing at once is incredibly exhausting. Even with years of therapy, added stress can bring so much back to the surface. You're not alone in that. Many of us here know exactly how that feels, and I'm really glad you reached out instead of sitting with it by yourself. Welcome.
I'm really glad you're here. I'm so sorry you're struggling - being in survival mode and having all the trauma responses firing at once is incredibly exhausting. Even with years of therapy, added stress can bring so much back to the surface. You're not alone in that. Many of us here know exactly how that feels, and I'm really glad you reached out instead of sitting with it by yourself. Welcome.
#9
SOT - Sense of Threat / How twisted is this?
Last post by gcj07a - November 30, 2025, 10:31:11 PMGrowing up, the best I could hope for was to be left alone. I often think of my M as the eye of Sauron. If she were looking at you, you were under a magnifying glass. Everything you did or said was wrong. My siblings and I basically tried to throw each other in her path in order to get away. Anyhow, I view anyone giving me any attention as threatening. If someone asks me if I am ok, I immediately freeze and remind myself not to show weakness in case there is a predator. I so desperately want others to care about me, but I don't trust anyone enough to really let them care for me. Any sign of concern for me is suspicious in itself. My SOT says "why are they thinking about me at all?" Sigh.
#10
AD - Emotional Dysregulation / Re: What is Joy?
Last post by gcj07a - November 30, 2025, 10:18:00 PMThanks NarcKiddo! I appreciate your perspective.