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#2
Books & Articles / Re: David Bedrick - The Unsham...
Last post by TheBigBlue - Today at 12:36:10 PMReading this, I feel it in my body - silent tears running down my face, not from pain alone, but from recognition. Thank you for sharing this.
#3
Frustrated? Set Backs? / Re: (Vent) I relied too much o...
Last post by Teddy bear - Today at 12:32:42 PMHello Strawberry Cat,
I see it's quite an old topic, but just to add my two cents: I think I can understand you very much.
My experience with using AI as a substitute for a therapist started after problems with a real one, who attempted to victim-blame me—even though I'd been in her therapy for around a year and a half.
When I realised that her blaming attitude was still there, I gradually stopped seeing her. At the same time, I began using AI more and more, until I found myself feeling very disturbed and paranoid, as it was exacerbating my state.
I eventually had to stabilise myself and reduced how much I used AI, avoiding it whenever it would trigger paranoia or make things worse.
I still use it sometimes (and surprisingly, I haven't been banned, even though I've used some strong language on occasion).
I also find the 12-step program helpful sometimes, along with communities for adult children from dysfunctional families (not necessarily related to chemical dependency). It helps me avoid isolation, though some people or topics there can be triggering.
Hope this helps—or maybe your situation is already resolved.
Hugs, if that's okay 🤗
I see it's quite an old topic, but just to add my two cents: I think I can understand you very much.
My experience with using AI as a substitute for a therapist started after problems with a real one, who attempted to victim-blame me—even though I'd been in her therapy for around a year and a half.
When I realised that her blaming attitude was still there, I gradually stopped seeing her. At the same time, I began using AI more and more, until I found myself feeling very disturbed and paranoid, as it was exacerbating my state.
I eventually had to stabilise myself and reduced how much I used AI, avoiding it whenever it would trigger paranoia or make things worse.
I still use it sometimes (and surprisingly, I haven't been banned, even though I've used some strong language on occasion).
I also find the 12-step program helpful sometimes, along with communities for adult children from dysfunctional families (not necessarily related to chemical dependency). It helps me avoid isolation, though some people or topics there can be triggering.
Hope this helps—or maybe your situation is already resolved.
Hugs, if that's okay 🤗
#5
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Greetings from the storm- ...
Last post by TheBigBlue - Today at 12:22:38 PMHi Olly, welcome! 
And happy New Year to you too.
Thank you for trusting this space with your story.
Favorite reptile... oh wow, that is a good and hard question.
If I go purely symbolic: chameleons have always fascinated me. Beautiful, slow, almost still - but with those independently moving eyes that scan everything. Blending in, almost invisible; calm on the outside, hyper-aware underneath. That one resonates.
I also have a soft spot for geckos. They're kind of adorable, show up quietly, and do something genuinely useful just by being there. I let them stay when they occasionally move in - free mosquito and fly control - and the whole "hairy palm physics" thing (sticking to everything without glue) still blows my mind.
If you'll allow me to cheat a little: my final pick would be the axolotl (I know - amphibian, not reptile 🙂). Their facial expression is adorable, but also something about staying in a form that works for survival, not forcing a transformation just because it's "expected," and surviving in a very particular environment... that feels meaningful to me.
Most of my favorite animals though, I realize, are the ones that helped me survive or regulate in real life - like my service dog Baloo. Long before I understood trauma and that I have CPTSD, I was drawn to sitting for hours with fearful, undersocialized dogs in animal shelters - not training them, not pushing them, just staying quiet, predictable, and present until their nervous systems settled. The change was often marked by a deep sigh and finally falling asleep. I only recognize now that this was co-regulation.
This question turned out to be deeper than I thought. Thanks for asking it - and for being here. 💛
And happy New Year to you too.
Thank you for trusting this space with your story.
Favorite reptile... oh wow, that is a good and hard question.
If I go purely symbolic: chameleons have always fascinated me. Beautiful, slow, almost still - but with those independently moving eyes that scan everything. Blending in, almost invisible; calm on the outside, hyper-aware underneath. That one resonates.
I also have a soft spot for geckos. They're kind of adorable, show up quietly, and do something genuinely useful just by being there. I let them stay when they occasionally move in - free mosquito and fly control - and the whole "hairy palm physics" thing (sticking to everything without glue) still blows my mind.
If you'll allow me to cheat a little: my final pick would be the axolotl (I know - amphibian, not reptile 🙂). Their facial expression is adorable, but also something about staying in a form that works for survival, not forcing a transformation just because it's "expected," and surviving in a very particular environment... that feels meaningful to me.
Most of my favorite animals though, I realize, are the ones that helped me survive or regulate in real life - like my service dog Baloo. Long before I understood trauma and that I have CPTSD, I was drawn to sitting for hours with fearful, undersocialized dogs in animal shelters - not training them, not pushing them, just staying quiet, predictable, and present until their nervous systems settled. The change was often marked by a deep sigh and finally falling asleep. I only recognize now that this was co-regulation.
This question turned out to be deeper than I thought. Thanks for asking it - and for being here. 💛
#6
Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery J...
Last post by NarcKiddo - Today at 11:35:46 AMIt's really weird coming to terms with parts, I find. I found Janina Fisher very helpful. I don't have many parts (at least I don't think I do), just a couple of inner children, but they are capable of hijacking adult me completely and without my realising - especially teenage NK. I didn't realise she did that, actually, until she did it during a therapy session but hesitated and adult NK became aware of her pulling down the shutter, as it were.
It sounds like you dealt with that unexpected phone call very well and I hope you get the desired result.
It sounds like you dealt with that unexpected phone call very well and I hope you get the desired result.
#8
Frustrated? Set Backs? / Re: stuck in a loop
Last post by NarcKiddo - Today at 11:23:29 AMThat sounds really tough. Ignore this if it doesn't help, but Kizzie's post touches very much on what I was thinking as I read yours. It sounds like you have been doing so much hard work to get better that maybe you need a rest from that. Maybe taking stock of what is "good enough" and just sticking there for a while could help. It doesn't mean you are settling, it doesn't mean you are saying that something is good enough for ever. But maybe it is good enough for now, while you take a breather and take time to plan the next step. It feels from your post that you are being bombarded by so much that you feel like you are being backed into a corner and being forced to be reactive. Nobody can sustain that - but the corner can be helpful too. The walls have got your back. Maybe you don't need to fight your way out of the corner just yet.
I hope things improve soon.
I hope things improve soon.
#9
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Greetings from the storm- ...
Last post by NarcKiddo - Today at 11:12:23 AMHello, and welcome.
My favourite reptile? The tortoise. When I think about it, the tortoise kind of replicates the protections we build up with CPTSD. A great heavy shell that functions well in many ways, but we have to stick our head out if we want to do pretty much anything.
I think many of us here are familiar with the feeling of not even being able to open up to a therapist. You're not alone. We get it, and I'm glad you found us.
My favourite reptile? The tortoise. When I think about it, the tortoise kind of replicates the protections we build up with CPTSD. A great heavy shell that functions well in many ways, but we have to stick our head out if we want to do pretty much anything.
I think many of us here are familiar with the feeling of not even being able to open up to a therapist. You're not alone. We get it, and I'm glad you found us.
#10
Recovery Journals / Re: Ran's journey
Last post by Ran - Today at 10:24:29 AMI have actually started dating him. It just happened. I can tell that I do have genuine feelings, but he is a massive troll as he pushes my cptsd attachment buttons deliberately. I don't hate it all, but I just fear that once things are over as long distance relationships last rarely, then it will hit me hard also I got overwhelmed too, but that part might be too triggering, so
Trigger warning: flashback, claustrophobia, trapped, panic attack!!!
I started feeling claustrophobic, because I was suddenly put into a wife role, with no ceremonies and I had an I think it was flashback of people's faces around me watching, so I felt trapped. I got even a bit of an panic attack. I'm over it now, but it was something new.
Trigger warning: flashback, claustrophobia, trapped, panic attack!!!
I started feeling claustrophobic, because I was suddenly put into a wife role, with no ceremonies and I had an I think it was flashback of people's faces around me watching, so I felt trapped. I got even a bit of an panic attack. I'm over it now, but it was something new.