Recent posts
#1
Symptoms - Other / Re: we found a persecutor and ...
Last post by asdis - November 12, 2025, 11:33:40 PM
#2
Eating Issues / Re: too many issues with food
Last post by asdis - November 12, 2025, 11:22:20 PMQuote from: dollyvee on November 11, 2025, 09:59:04 AMI had a "cheat" meal the other day probably because I was tired of the limited eating... The next day, I felt absolutely awful, like I was hung over all day,
We feel you on this one. We made some bad food choices over the past week because it was just easier to and we've been feeling sick since. We hope you're feeling better by now.
We forgot to mention on our post above, but we applied for xolair with our allergist last week and we're hopeful that we can get on it. It'll be kinda difficult to manage the appointments every two weeks but we think it'll be worth it if it helps even a little bit.
#3
Eating Issues / Re: too many issues with food
Last post by asdis - November 12, 2025, 11:16:46 PMThe ED therapist has been pretty good, for the most part she's just helped us not slip back into intentionally restricting. She's been working with all of us that have fronted during session too. We're starting to touch on some of the deeper issues related to our ED with her and it seems promising. She's been pretty good about moving at our pace. Both her and our regular therapist recommended a nutritionist to help find food replacements and help navigate the medical side.
The nutritionist we found is nice enough, we've only had three sessions though. We had one with her today and she had that look of "I might be in over my head" for about half of the appointment. We made sure to find one that had experience and focused on working with patients with food allergies and eating disorders. We wrote a pretty detailed (but not novel length) description of our issues surrounding food and where the non-allergy complications arose from. Her initial response and the first two sessions were fine. We didn't necessarily learn anything new or anything, but she at least never let on that anything was off/she wasn't comfortable. We found a few substitutes to look for but they're pricey and will be luxuries if we can get them. Today we had to explain the "whys" of a lot of things to her and had to give a little bit more detail about our childhood. We were up front in our intro message to her about pervasive ED tendencies, trauma being a major contributing factor, and that we were medically neglected until we moved out/moved cities. We were also up front about our physical health being quite bad. But still, we just barely scratched the surface of what we had to explain, and she just seemed super uncomfortable and like she had no idea what to do. It would be different if she was fully focused on numbers and blood work and stuff, but there hasn't really been much medical talk outside of going over my allergy test results. And she was asking us questions, we were just answering. She was shocked that it takes us so long (usually a month or so if we're lucky, 3-5+ if not) to get in with specialists even with referrals. She didn't seem to understand the emotional/mental difficulty of never knowing whether or not a new doctor will believe us. It just kinda left us feeling like she didn't think about the possibility that multiple compounding factors would mean more difficulty even if we're as intent as we are to heal and get better.
We're not giving up on working with her yet. We want to try asking her for bloodwork orders to check for deficiencies and stuff and see how that route goes first. We're just feeling some kinda way about another doctor having the "
" reaction when having to truly look at the complexities.
The nutritionist we found is nice enough, we've only had three sessions though. We had one with her today and she had that look of "I might be in over my head" for about half of the appointment. We made sure to find one that had experience and focused on working with patients with food allergies and eating disorders. We wrote a pretty detailed (but not novel length) description of our issues surrounding food and where the non-allergy complications arose from. Her initial response and the first two sessions were fine. We didn't necessarily learn anything new or anything, but she at least never let on that anything was off/she wasn't comfortable. We found a few substitutes to look for but they're pricey and will be luxuries if we can get them. Today we had to explain the "whys" of a lot of things to her and had to give a little bit more detail about our childhood. We were up front in our intro message to her about pervasive ED tendencies, trauma being a major contributing factor, and that we were medically neglected until we moved out/moved cities. We were also up front about our physical health being quite bad. But still, we just barely scratched the surface of what we had to explain, and she just seemed super uncomfortable and like she had no idea what to do. It would be different if she was fully focused on numbers and blood work and stuff, but there hasn't really been much medical talk outside of going over my allergy test results. And she was asking us questions, we were just answering. She was shocked that it takes us so long (usually a month or so if we're lucky, 3-5+ if not) to get in with specialists even with referrals. She didn't seem to understand the emotional/mental difficulty of never knowing whether or not a new doctor will believe us. It just kinda left us feeling like she didn't think about the possibility that multiple compounding factors would mean more difficulty even if we're as intent as we are to heal and get better.
We're not giving up on working with her yet. We want to try asking her for bloodwork orders to check for deficiencies and stuff and see how that route goes first. We're just feeling some kinda way about another doctor having the "
" reaction when having to truly look at the complexities. #4
Recovery Journals / Re: Healing or Holding On?
Last post by Dark.art.girl - November 12, 2025, 10:11:50 PMSan,
I hope I didn't offend you when I said that. I'm so sorry about your circumstances with D1, I'm sure that's been very painful. Thank you for your thoughts and love, I'm sending some your way, too. Yes, it does touches every aspect of our life.
Last night I got into a tiff with my father than escalated because I got triggered by something he said. He mentioned something about me moving in anger which put me in an EF for sure. There were many times in my life that I had no control over where I lived or where I felt safe. That instability left me freaking out in this instance. Anyway, I ended up coming up with a solution to share my feelings with him--it's usually very difficult. I'm pretty proud of this!
I'm more of a writer and feel safe in writing to him than speaking (seems juvenile to me but it is what it is). So, I wrote it all out and read it to him. I sobbed through the whole thing but I felt a lot of relief after and I got to apologize for my frigidness. We had a good conversation and shared some hugs that I felt comfortable with because it broke the wall down. At least for now. I admitted how I beat myself up mentally for shutting myself off to him and how badly I wish I could be authentic with him the way I am with others. But he sees why I struggle with these things and sees past them, which I also expressed gratitude for. I am really grateful. I don't want to push him or my boyfriend away when they're all I have.
Does anyone else feel like once they release their big feelings this way things seem normal, but after awhile, feelings accumulate and build up under the surface again? I'm starting to recognize a pattern here and I remember this being a problem when I was younger, too. I wish I could explain why I'm doing it but I can't think that deeply right now. lol
I hope I didn't offend you when I said that. I'm so sorry about your circumstances with D1, I'm sure that's been very painful. Thank you for your thoughts and love, I'm sending some your way, too. Yes, it does touches every aspect of our life.
Last night I got into a tiff with my father than escalated because I got triggered by something he said. He mentioned something about me moving in anger which put me in an EF for sure. There were many times in my life that I had no control over where I lived or where I felt safe. That instability left me freaking out in this instance. Anyway, I ended up coming up with a solution to share my feelings with him--it's usually very difficult. I'm pretty proud of this!
I'm more of a writer and feel safe in writing to him than speaking (seems juvenile to me but it is what it is). So, I wrote it all out and read it to him. I sobbed through the whole thing but I felt a lot of relief after and I got to apologize for my frigidness. We had a good conversation and shared some hugs that I felt comfortable with because it broke the wall down. At least for now. I admitted how I beat myself up mentally for shutting myself off to him and how badly I wish I could be authentic with him the way I am with others. But he sees why I struggle with these things and sees past them, which I also expressed gratitude for. I am really grateful. I don't want to push him or my boyfriend away when they're all I have.
Does anyone else feel like once they release their big feelings this way things seem normal, but after awhile, feelings accumulate and build up under the surface again? I'm starting to recognize a pattern here and I remember this being a problem when I was younger, too. I wish I could explain why I'm doing it but I can't think that deeply right now. lol
#5
Therapy / Re: Therapy directly on a core...
Last post by Blueberry - November 12, 2025, 09:48:27 PMHi LadyBoar,
If I haven't yet said "Welcome to the forum", here it is now
Thank you for adding more insight to this thread!
I work quite a bit with imagery and imagination techniques so you giving me a visual is especially helpful.
I'm sorry you've had dissociative episodes too, and of course relating to hitting the same nail over and over again. Tho when I'm not in a bit of or a lot of an EF, I can usually see that there's been a tiny change to the nail - bit smaller, bit chipped off etc. But I'm very often in EFs and don't notice.
If I haven't yet said "Welcome to the forum", here it is now
Thank you for adding more insight to this thread!
I work quite a bit with imagery and imagination techniques so you giving me a visual is especially helpful.
Quote from: LadyBoar on November 10, 2025, 06:09:27 PMNow make the cube a shape that has hundreds of sides that can only be seen in different angles.This ^^ part of the image is particularly apt for what we're dealing with re: cptsd I think.
I'm sorry you've had dissociative episodes too, and of course relating to hitting the same nail over and over again. Tho when I'm not in a bit of or a lot of an EF, I can usually see that there's been a tiny change to the nail - bit smaller, bit chipped off etc. But I'm very often in EFs and don't notice.
#6
Recovery Journals / Re: Healing journal (tw) Anger...
Last post by StartingHealing - November 12, 2025, 08:12:38 PMHi NarcKiddo.
In regards to the IRL friends thing .. The native Nation that I'm a member of has an outreach group located in the metropolis where I currently reside. They are having a IRL meetup this coming weekend. BBQ, meet and greet some tribal leaders, etc. Members only thing, which I'm a member. 4 hours long. I am attending and going to see what happens. Sometimes just showing up is the biggest thing. since it's a "private group" thing then my concern about the crazy that currently exists here is not as strong as if it was a event in a public space.
To many instances of folks getting filmed, film is edited, and uploaded because the poster is seeking validation, or something for their echo chamber, or for public roasting and someone's reputation gets smoked for likes and clicks. Usually the males of the species. With how... I lack the words .. toxic? childish? foolish? stupid? people are with posting online, about everything.. Nah. I'll pass. I think that sometime next quarter I will get a body cam of some type. Any more I'm guilty until I can prove I'm innocent.
As far as the fur people that have gone on before me. There are many. A solid bakers dozen. I'm not trying to "forget" but at the same time, how many mementos you know? I mean even with a EMP that smokes all electronics that's not going to effect my memories. (Yeah, I have the vids / images digitally, plus two external drives that are exclusive for backups) That reminds me, need to print out a couple of photos of each, ones that somehow captured the who that they are.
Got to get back after it. Work and all
Wishing all here all the best.
In regards to the IRL friends thing .. The native Nation that I'm a member of has an outreach group located in the metropolis where I currently reside. They are having a IRL meetup this coming weekend. BBQ, meet and greet some tribal leaders, etc. Members only thing, which I'm a member. 4 hours long. I am attending and going to see what happens. Sometimes just showing up is the biggest thing. since it's a "private group" thing then my concern about the crazy that currently exists here is not as strong as if it was a event in a public space.
To many instances of folks getting filmed, film is edited, and uploaded because the poster is seeking validation, or something for their echo chamber, or for public roasting and someone's reputation gets smoked for likes and clicks. Usually the males of the species. With how... I lack the words .. toxic? childish? foolish? stupid? people are with posting online, about everything.. Nah. I'll pass. I think that sometime next quarter I will get a body cam of some type. Any more I'm guilty until I can prove I'm innocent.
As far as the fur people that have gone on before me. There are many. A solid bakers dozen. I'm not trying to "forget" but at the same time, how many mementos you know? I mean even with a EMP that smokes all electronics that's not going to effect my memories. (Yeah, I have the vids / images digitally, plus two external drives that are exclusive for backups) That reminds me, need to print out a couple of photos of each, ones that somehow captured the who that they are.
Got to get back after it. Work and all
Wishing all here all the best.
#7
Conferences/Courses / Re: FREE, Rewiring to Break fr...
Last post by Blueberry - November 12, 2025, 04:25:48 PMFrom the blurb: For me, the biggest thing I had to push through wasn't the outside world — it was my own self-limiting behaviors.
Not getting enough sleep.
Spending too much time on YouTube.
Not fully completing tasks.
Not taking full responsibility for the results I wanted to create.
Letting my untamed inner child run the show instead of connecting with him and bringing him onboard with my vision.
All of that was keeping me from the personal growth, joy, and contribution that I now know are possible. I used to think it was a lack of discipline. But it wasn't. It was old wiring — subconscious patterns designed to protect me that had long outlived their purpose.
Once I learned how to rewire those patterns, everything changed.
That's the journey I'll be sharing more about during my interview this Wednesday, where I'll talk about how breathwork and awareness helped me transform my self-limiting behaviors into clarity, purpose, and freedom.
We've brought together 50+ world-class experts in neuroscience, psychology, and transformation — including Jim Kwik, Kristin Neff, Peter Levine, Jessica Maguire, Dave Asprey, Nicole Sachs, John Gray and many more — to help you uncover the patterns that hold you back and rewire them at their source.
...
Warmly,
Michael Stone
Co-Creator, Rewiring to Break Free from Self-Limiting Behaviors Summit
Founder, NeuroDynamic Breathwork® & NeuroDynamic Institute
Not getting enough sleep.
Spending too much time on YouTube.
Not fully completing tasks.
Not taking full responsibility for the results I wanted to create.
Letting my untamed inner child run the show instead of connecting with him and bringing him onboard with my vision.
All of that was keeping me from the personal growth, joy, and contribution that I now know are possible. I used to think it was a lack of discipline. But it wasn't. It was old wiring — subconscious patterns designed to protect me that had long outlived their purpose.
Once I learned how to rewire those patterns, everything changed.
That's the journey I'll be sharing more about during my interview this Wednesday, where I'll talk about how breathwork and awareness helped me transform my self-limiting behaviors into clarity, purpose, and freedom.
We've brought together 50+ world-class experts in neuroscience, psychology, and transformation — including Jim Kwik, Kristin Neff, Peter Levine, Jessica Maguire, Dave Asprey, Nicole Sachs, John Gray and many more — to help you uncover the patterns that hold you back and rewire them at their source.
...
Warmly,
Michael Stone
Co-Creator, Rewiring to Break Free from Self-Limiting Behaviors Summit
Founder, NeuroDynamic Breathwork® & NeuroDynamic Institute
#8
Conferences/Courses / FREE webinar: Mapping Your Int...
Last post by Blueberry - November 12, 2025, 04:16:16 PMFree live webinar: Mapping Your Intergenerational Trauma Thurs 13 Nov. 2025 12pm EST / 5pm GMT
Join Dr Alex Howard and Dr Diane Poole Heller for a FREE 90-minute live webinar to Understand Parentification, Estrangement, and Your Ancestral Inheritance
From the blurb: "In the 90-minute session, we'll demystify the impacts of intergenerational trauma and how to break the cycle–specifically:
✅ How parentification shapes your entire identity
✅ The hidden dynamics of estrangement and when distance isn't always the answer
✅ How inherited trauma impacts your emotions and decisions
✅ Practical tools to help understand your family trauma patterns and begin to heal"
Join Dr Alex Howard and Dr Diane Poole Heller for a FREE 90-minute live webinar to Understand Parentification, Estrangement, and Your Ancestral Inheritance
From the blurb: "In the 90-minute session, we'll demystify the impacts of intergenerational trauma and how to break the cycle–specifically:
✅ How parentification shapes your entire identity
✅ The hidden dynamics of estrangement and when distance isn't always the answer
✅ How inherited trauma impacts your emotions and decisions
✅ Practical tools to help understand your family trauma patterns and begin to heal"
#10
Conferences/Courses / FREE, Rewiring to Break free F...
Last post by Blueberry - November 12, 2025, 04:05:00 PMhttps://www.rewiringselflimitingbehaviors.com/home-a?a_aid=breathwrk#a_aid=breathwrk
As always: These types of conferences and summits are always free during the conference. Once you sign up, you'll get a fair number of emails suggesting you pay for permanent access. That's really not necessary. The material gets recycled - it'll come up in another conference/summit in a few months!
+ see my post here for additional general info: https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=16458.0
As always: These types of conferences and summits are always free during the conference. Once you sign up, you'll get a fair number of emails suggesting you pay for permanent access. That's really not necessary. The material gets recycled - it'll come up in another conference/summit in a few months!
+ see my post here for additional general info: https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=16458.0