Recent posts
#1
Recovery Journals / Re: Healing journal (tw) Anger...
Last post by Papa Coco - October 19, 2025, 11:29:17 PMStarting Healing,
Wow, your family dynamic is a bit like mine. I was not adopted, but I had 4 siblings from the same gene pool but so help me I swear we each originally came from different planets. Even our health issues are all over the map.
You said something above that really sparked my interest. You said, "I'm really thinking that perhaps the idea of spiritual possession isn't just lip service." I don't know if you were serious, but if that is actually a wonder of yours, it is brought up in Dr. Robert Falconer's book, The Others Within Us. He teams up with dr. Richard Schwartz, who invented IFS therapy, and expanded on our inner parts. This sounds crazy, I know, but he has evidence from his 40 plus years of providing trauma-informed therapy, to sound compelling. In IFS, we learn that we have many parts within us. Many, many inner children, each with their own influence over our lives. Always meaning to help, but often because of their limited compartmentalized views of life, they end up tripping us up by accident. Schwartz started out talking about them as if they all were born inside of us, but Falconer believes the ocasional IFS part comes to us from somewhere else. He references the religious beliefs of possession and says that scientifically, he believes it's true. I was most intrigued in his book when he said that we humans are sometimes left with our borders unguarded, like when we are under anesthesia, or in a seriously dissociated state, as many of us are during CSA. During the times when we are "out of our mind" our borders are open, and Dr. Falconer believes that's when visiting IFS parts move in. His claim goes on a bit deeper, citing that he believes the world lost a valuable practice when we stopped doing exorcisms. Those of us in western civilizations think this is religious stuff, but Falconer isn't religious, he's an experienced psychologist who says he's helped a lot of people who he believes had other people's IFS parts in them after a surgery or sexual abuse.
I, personally, keep my belief system open. I see the world as a salad of possible scenarios, and, at this point in time, we humans aren't fully able to know which scenarios are real and which are hooey. So I give every theory a voice until somehow one of them proves itself right or wrong. Until proven diferently, I'm a fan of Falconer's writing.
I just wanted to say, IFS part possession or spiritual possession is absolutely not off the table when talking with me. It's as possible as anything else.
My wife had a brother. A sick, narcissistic, severely alcoholic, drug addicted brother. He was my age. He was a huge problem for the whole family. At times he would be "behaving himself" like a decent person for a while, but when he started to become dangerous, we knew it because we could see his countenance change. His face would darken. The word that best described is Jeckyl/Hyde transformations would be Evil. He looked like evil was entering his body. We knew bad things were about to happen. So the idea of spiritual possession as a scientific reality rather than a religious belief is easy for me to believe.
I recommend that book to anyone who wants a deeper understanding of IFS parts and their influence on our lives.
Recently I also read Attuned by Thomas Hubl, and somewhere in his teachings, he stated that adoption doesn't necessarily remove us from the ancestral trauma that comes down through families. Even those who have been adopted into families can find themselves wrestling with the ancestral traumas of the family they were adopted into.
I like to keep my curiousity turned on full. I like exploring all the possibilities and giving each one credibility when they come from credible sources. Hubl, Schwartz, Falconer...these people have proven themselves to have information that is helpful to us, so...it's entirely possible that spiritual possession might be real, even in non-religious realms.
Just sayin'.
Wow, your family dynamic is a bit like mine. I was not adopted, but I had 4 siblings from the same gene pool but so help me I swear we each originally came from different planets. Even our health issues are all over the map.
You said something above that really sparked my interest. You said, "I'm really thinking that perhaps the idea of spiritual possession isn't just lip service." I don't know if you were serious, but if that is actually a wonder of yours, it is brought up in Dr. Robert Falconer's book, The Others Within Us. He teams up with dr. Richard Schwartz, who invented IFS therapy, and expanded on our inner parts. This sounds crazy, I know, but he has evidence from his 40 plus years of providing trauma-informed therapy, to sound compelling. In IFS, we learn that we have many parts within us. Many, many inner children, each with their own influence over our lives. Always meaning to help, but often because of their limited compartmentalized views of life, they end up tripping us up by accident. Schwartz started out talking about them as if they all were born inside of us, but Falconer believes the ocasional IFS part comes to us from somewhere else. He references the religious beliefs of possession and says that scientifically, he believes it's true. I was most intrigued in his book when he said that we humans are sometimes left with our borders unguarded, like when we are under anesthesia, or in a seriously dissociated state, as many of us are during CSA. During the times when we are "out of our mind" our borders are open, and Dr. Falconer believes that's when visiting IFS parts move in. His claim goes on a bit deeper, citing that he believes the world lost a valuable practice when we stopped doing exorcisms. Those of us in western civilizations think this is religious stuff, but Falconer isn't religious, he's an experienced psychologist who says he's helped a lot of people who he believes had other people's IFS parts in them after a surgery or sexual abuse.
I, personally, keep my belief system open. I see the world as a salad of possible scenarios, and, at this point in time, we humans aren't fully able to know which scenarios are real and which are hooey. So I give every theory a voice until somehow one of them proves itself right or wrong. Until proven diferently, I'm a fan of Falconer's writing.
I just wanted to say, IFS part possession or spiritual possession is absolutely not off the table when talking with me. It's as possible as anything else.
My wife had a brother. A sick, narcissistic, severely alcoholic, drug addicted brother. He was my age. He was a huge problem for the whole family. At times he would be "behaving himself" like a decent person for a while, but when he started to become dangerous, we knew it because we could see his countenance change. His face would darken. The word that best described is Jeckyl/Hyde transformations would be Evil. He looked like evil was entering his body. We knew bad things were about to happen. So the idea of spiritual possession as a scientific reality rather than a religious belief is easy for me to believe.
I recommend that book to anyone who wants a deeper understanding of IFS parts and their influence on our lives.
Recently I also read Attuned by Thomas Hubl, and somewhere in his teachings, he stated that adoption doesn't necessarily remove us from the ancestral trauma that comes down through families. Even those who have been adopted into families can find themselves wrestling with the ancestral traumas of the family they were adopted into.
I like to keep my curiousity turned on full. I like exploring all the possibilities and giving each one credibility when they come from credible sources. Hubl, Schwartz, Falconer...these people have proven themselves to have information that is helpful to us, so...it's entirely possible that spiritual possession might be real, even in non-religious realms.
Just sayin'.
#2
Recovery Journals / Re: TV's Repair Journal
Last post by lowbudgetTV - October 19, 2025, 09:06:03 PMThanks Papa, it is always good to share our stories, if even just for our own benefit. I like telling tales of my experiences to deal with them, and in turn I always love to hear other's thoughts.
I agree; I have no regrets abandoning those who have hurt me.
I agree; I have no regrets abandoning those who have hurt me.
#3
Recovery Journals / Re: Papa Coco's Recovery Journ...
Last post by StartingHealing - October 19, 2025, 07:55:30 PMHi PC 
It seems that there has been much good that has happened
The wounded healer is a thing. Us reaching out to show others that somebody is there that gives a dam_, even if they are struggling themselves, is powerful. Exceptionally powerful. At the same time, those we reach out to, they need to decide. I'm reminded of 12 step programs you know? Has to be some action on their part to partake.
Patterns, energy, intention, it all matters PC. The old ways acknowledges this fact. Sad thing is that it was buried under the weight of a system that don't care about human thriving. I'm glad that folks are starting to "re-discover" it.
Sending you the best good sir.
It seems that there has been much good that has happened
The wounded healer is a thing. Us reaching out to show others that somebody is there that gives a dam_, even if they are struggling themselves, is powerful. Exceptionally powerful. At the same time, those we reach out to, they need to decide. I'm reminded of 12 step programs you know? Has to be some action on their part to partake.
Patterns, energy, intention, it all matters PC. The old ways acknowledges this fact. Sad thing is that it was buried under the weight of a system that don't care about human thriving. I'm glad that folks are starting to "re-discover" it.
Sending you the best good sir.
#4
Sexual Abuse / Re: TW: Tickling but I think i...
Last post by Chart - October 19, 2025, 07:53:19 PMBeet, The only aspect I believe questionable is whether tickling is "sexual" abuse. But even this question is pretty irrelevant in my opinion.
Clearly your father was also engaging in sexual abuse. Touching a sleeping child in a sexual part of their body is sexual abuse.
Unwanted touching of ANY kind, is abuse.
Tickling is also unwanted touching if the child is clearly asking that it stop or if the tickling is clearly painful and stressful to the child. If the child's demand to stop is ignored, this is abuse.
No one has the right to touch a child's body if the child does not want to be touched.
And needless to say, a child who is consistently ignored regarding their needs and requests for limits and boundaries are destined to develop deep wounds regarding their physical integrity and self-value.
Children are not the property of their parents (or anyone else).
Beet, I am so sorry your parents did not respect your physical, mental and emotional boundaries that you were 100% valid in demanding they respect.
Additionally, the subsequent accusations that you were being "dramatic" is gaslighting. Gaslighting, if you don't already know, is a toxic device to put responsibility on the victim. It is done to shift focus off of the abusive behavior of the aggressive perpetrator in order to imply fault and blame on the victim.
This is a classic narcissistic tactic (which you probably are already aware of, but it bears repeating due to the continued unawareness of the technique in so many cases of child abuse).
Please know that you were entirely valid in demanding that your father's behavior stop. And not being supported by your mother was further abandonment at a time in your life when your being needed true love, trust and protection. I am so deeply sorry that you experienced this absence of what you, and all children, so rightly and inherently deserve.
Clearly your father was also engaging in sexual abuse. Touching a sleeping child in a sexual part of their body is sexual abuse.
Unwanted touching of ANY kind, is abuse.
Tickling is also unwanted touching if the child is clearly asking that it stop or if the tickling is clearly painful and stressful to the child. If the child's demand to stop is ignored, this is abuse.
No one has the right to touch a child's body if the child does not want to be touched.
And needless to say, a child who is consistently ignored regarding their needs and requests for limits and boundaries are destined to develop deep wounds regarding their physical integrity and self-value.
Children are not the property of their parents (or anyone else).
Beet, I am so sorry your parents did not respect your physical, mental and emotional boundaries that you were 100% valid in demanding they respect.
Additionally, the subsequent accusations that you were being "dramatic" is gaslighting. Gaslighting, if you don't already know, is a toxic device to put responsibility on the victim. It is done to shift focus off of the abusive behavior of the aggressive perpetrator in order to imply fault and blame on the victim.
This is a classic narcissistic tactic (which you probably are already aware of, but it bears repeating due to the continued unawareness of the technique in so many cases of child abuse).
Please know that you were entirely valid in demanding that your father's behavior stop. And not being supported by your mother was further abandonment at a time in your life when your being needed true love, trust and protection. I am so deeply sorry that you experienced this absence of what you, and all children, so rightly and inherently deserve.
#5
Recovery Journals / Re: Healing journal (tw) Anger...
Last post by StartingHealing - October 19, 2025, 07:40:09 PM10-19-25
Hey PC!
How you been? May many good things have happened on your path! Thank you for your kind words good sir. Ironic that I've really not seen myself in that way. Hmmm, I do think I need to consider how accurate my own self-assessment is. Thank you again. I've learned a few things about dealing with manipulative people.
How do I express the sheer amount of being dumbfounded with the reveals that have happened since the middle sister moved on? Tis been eye opening and at the same time provides a context in which certain things make sense.
I don't remember breaking down the adoptive family sibs. I'll use the words that are commonly used to indicate the role. It was brother, sister, sister, sister, then they added me.
The one closest in age to me, we are pretty tight. The middle sister is the one that has recently moved on to her next adventure. { May it be far far better than the one she went through here } Then the eldest sister.
The brother has gone on as well. Gallbladder / liver cancer in his case. makes sense because he was angry most of the time. About what I don't have a clue. In traditional chinese medicine, certain emotions come from / are stored in certain organs. And this lines up perfectly with that knowledge base that was developed over millennia of observation. From a guy's perspective, how he ended up with the wife he did... One of those mysteries of life. Complete sweetheart, loving, kind, compassionate, good sense of humor, killer cook, great mother. Was in love with him as far as I could tell up till he passed.
I've reached out over the years and since she never responded back, with that I just let her be you know? With what has come to light, I can't blame her. She's acting out of self protection because of things that have happened with others and to her I'm part of the same bunch.
Anyway, a lot of the reveals have to do with the family dynamics and while it was not, I don't have to words to define it as far as a good / bad spectrum, the patterns of behavior that I grew up in, which you know kids normalize, plus my own issues from the adoption, judas on a stick the long term fallout has been ..
Not just in my own path with the adoptive family sibs, but even to what would be nieces and nephews to me. Doing the simple binary. Has actions taken by them, (myself included) been for thriving or not ? There could be a word salad of adjectives I could use yet sometimes in the pursuit of explanation, of definition, that layers on more and more abstraction hiding the effects.
Sigh. Is painful to me at times because I do still retain some sympathy. The former spouse didn't kill that off. Although, there are time that I seriously think she intended to. Even if those who are suffering are doing so from their own actions. Because I've been through some events / situations and I have insight into the emotional fallout that actions / behaviors / choices have, not only on those in the middle of it, but those that had no choice in the matter. At the same time there are consequences. Whether good or bad. And it's not my place to mitigate those for others. I've generally maintained that I would rather know with certainty, than to be ignorant even if the knowing caused me serious emotional distress. To put it nicely.
This may sound odd, however even with what I have gone through, it was blessings in disguise. My adoptive kept me out of a family dynamic that would have resulted in me being in the grey bar hotel, wet brain, or dead. Not being genetically related to the people in the adoptive family prevented me from being susceptible to certain genetic expressions of ill health. yes, there are some genetic expressions that I'm dealing with from the donors of my specific genetic mix however I'll take BP issues over others. BP is manageable you know?
The eldest sister. I'm starting to consider that there is a PD there. I'm grateful that I'm not residing in the same locale. With what has been shown, vids are hard to argue against, smacks to me of the former spouse. In my opinion that is one of the most frightening things is how the same behaviors happen across time zones, marital status, age, gender, and culture. It's almost like they are a node, a puppet, that has the same force pulling their strings. I'm really thinking that perhaps the idea of spiritual possession isn't just lip service. How else can one explain it? Starting with genetics and working up from there, shouldn't their be enough variables to have different behaviors at some level? I've done the genetic genealogy and there is no relation twixt eldest sister and former spouse at least 10 generations back. With the new data coming out that shows that genetics influence far far more than "previously considered". No duh. The blank slate ism was a psyop from the word go. Just like so many other things that have been force fed to us for decades.
Wishing all here all the best.
Hey PC!
How you been? May many good things have happened on your path! Thank you for your kind words good sir. Ironic that I've really not seen myself in that way. Hmmm, I do think I need to consider how accurate my own self-assessment is. Thank you again. I've learned a few things about dealing with manipulative people. How do I express the sheer amount of being dumbfounded with the reveals that have happened since the middle sister moved on? Tis been eye opening and at the same time provides a context in which certain things make sense.
I don't remember breaking down the adoptive family sibs. I'll use the words that are commonly used to indicate the role. It was brother, sister, sister, sister, then they added me.
The one closest in age to me, we are pretty tight. The middle sister is the one that has recently moved on to her next adventure. { May it be far far better than the one she went through here } Then the eldest sister.
The brother has gone on as well. Gallbladder / liver cancer in his case. makes sense because he was angry most of the time. About what I don't have a clue. In traditional chinese medicine, certain emotions come from / are stored in certain organs. And this lines up perfectly with that knowledge base that was developed over millennia of observation. From a guy's perspective, how he ended up with the wife he did... One of those mysteries of life. Complete sweetheart, loving, kind, compassionate, good sense of humor, killer cook, great mother. Was in love with him as far as I could tell up till he passed.
I've reached out over the years and since she never responded back, with that I just let her be you know? With what has come to light, I can't blame her. She's acting out of self protection because of things that have happened with others and to her I'm part of the same bunch.
Anyway, a lot of the reveals have to do with the family dynamics and while it was not, I don't have to words to define it as far as a good / bad spectrum, the patterns of behavior that I grew up in, which you know kids normalize, plus my own issues from the adoption, judas on a stick the long term fallout has been ..
Not just in my own path with the adoptive family sibs, but even to what would be nieces and nephews to me. Doing the simple binary. Has actions taken by them, (myself included) been for thriving or not ? There could be a word salad of adjectives I could use yet sometimes in the pursuit of explanation, of definition, that layers on more and more abstraction hiding the effects.
Sigh. Is painful to me at times because I do still retain some sympathy. The former spouse didn't kill that off. Although, there are time that I seriously think she intended to. Even if those who are suffering are doing so from their own actions. Because I've been through some events / situations and I have insight into the emotional fallout that actions / behaviors / choices have, not only on those in the middle of it, but those that had no choice in the matter. At the same time there are consequences. Whether good or bad. And it's not my place to mitigate those for others. I've generally maintained that I would rather know with certainty, than to be ignorant even if the knowing caused me serious emotional distress. To put it nicely.
This may sound odd, however even with what I have gone through, it was blessings in disguise. My adoptive kept me out of a family dynamic that would have resulted in me being in the grey bar hotel, wet brain, or dead. Not being genetically related to the people in the adoptive family prevented me from being susceptible to certain genetic expressions of ill health. yes, there are some genetic expressions that I'm dealing with from the donors of my specific genetic mix however I'll take BP issues over others. BP is manageable you know?
The eldest sister. I'm starting to consider that there is a PD there. I'm grateful that I'm not residing in the same locale. With what has been shown, vids are hard to argue against, smacks to me of the former spouse. In my opinion that is one of the most frightening things is how the same behaviors happen across time zones, marital status, age, gender, and culture. It's almost like they are a node, a puppet, that has the same force pulling their strings. I'm really thinking that perhaps the idea of spiritual possession isn't just lip service. How else can one explain it? Starting with genetics and working up from there, shouldn't their be enough variables to have different behaviors at some level? I've done the genetic genealogy and there is no relation twixt eldest sister and former spouse at least 10 generations back. With the new data coming out that shows that genetics influence far far more than "previously considered". No duh. The blank slate ism was a psyop from the word go. Just like so many other things that have been force fed to us for decades.
Wishing all here all the best.
#6
Questions/Suggestions/Comments / Re: How to view read posts
Last post by Kizzie - October 19, 2025, 07:07:05 PMWe do seem to be having a bit of a glitch with this but unfortunately the fellow who helped with our IT is no longer available. Sadly I am not good enough to fix these glitches but I will see if I can ask on the Simple Machines forum. Traditionally they have not been particularly helpful and seem to think anyone with their platform should be quite proficient at IT. Ironic, given they chose the name "Simple Machines!"
Kizzie
Kizzie
#7
Family / Re: My uncle died today
Last post by Kizzie - October 19, 2025, 07:03:22 PMOh Fennec, I am so sorry about what your family has put you through - "weaponized" it as Narc Kiddo so aptly puts it. I think you are really brave for protecting your boundary in the face of that. If this whole debacle doesn't make the case for why you have to do so, I don't know what does.
Just my thoughts of course but like BB suggested maybe do make a safe, comfy nest for yourself and snuggle in for a bit once you've done the role play obligations. Afterall, in normal healthy families we would be comforted and offer comfort but sadly with us we often need to do it for ourselves. I'm glad you reached out here because we do understand and we do support and comfort each other which is what you so need at the moment.
One other suggestion - perhaps you can try and talk to your partner to explain why you're so distressed, maybe not now but when the stress has subsided a bit? If they too are a survivor then who better to reach out to in times like this, as long as they can understand and validate what you are going through?
Just my thoughts of course but like BB suggested maybe do make a safe, comfy nest for yourself and snuggle in for a bit once you've done the role play obligations. Afterall, in normal healthy families we would be comforted and offer comfort but sadly with us we often need to do it for ourselves. I'm glad you reached out here because we do understand and we do support and comfort each other which is what you so need at the moment.
One other suggestion - perhaps you can try and talk to your partner to explain why you're so distressed, maybe not now but when the stress has subsided a bit? If they too are a survivor then who better to reach out to in times like this, as long as they can understand and validate what you are going through?
#8
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Hello
Last post by Kizzie - October 19, 2025, 06:48:43 PMHi and a warm welcome Lina! 
Very glad to hear you're finding some good info and resources already. 
Very glad to hear you're finding some good info and resources already. #9
Recovery Journals / Re: Dalloway´s Recovery Journa...
Last post by Papa Coco - October 19, 2025, 06:15:41 PMDalloway,
Your post touches my heart deeply today. Loneliness has always been my lifelong sorrow also. Being utterly alone in an overcrowded world.
I agree with you that I also know that this isn't my fault. The loneliness has a mind of its own and it stays with me no matter how intellectually I "understand" it as a symptom of trauma. But, like you say, my heart still feels lonely even though my head says there's a reason for it.
If it helps, your entire post made it deep into my heart today. I feel the pain of loneliness for you as well as I do for myself.
I've been on a rampage to learn as much as I can lately about trauma and healing. I've been reading book after book about it. Some of the modern psychologists that we all trust, like Richard Schwartz, and Thomas Hubl are homing in on the loneliness of trauma more than ever. In Attuned, Hubl says It isn't the abuse that traumatized us as children, it was having to endure the abuse alone that traumatized us.
Loneliness is the greatest pain I know. And your post really said it well and really touched my heart this morning. The letter you wrote to your mom at age 10 really hit me hard. I am touched by your sincerity and your desire to connect with other people. When I was a young boy, my mom did say "I love you" a lot, but she didn't behave like it. I was treated more like a chore or a problem she had to deal with. I would occasionally ask her, "Why do you love me?" She would casually respond, "Because I'm your mother. I have to love you." That answer never made me feel very loved, but it does help me to connect my own drama with yours so that I can empathize and share this moment with you, even if it's over the internet.
One of the conundrums I deal with is I don't like the loneliness, and yet I intentionally isolate myself. I don't feel safe around other people. I feel safe alone. Nobody to criticize me or make me give up my life for theirs. The dichotomy is stressful. I feel alone so I isolate. I want friends, but I get nervous around them. So I bike alone. I kayak alone. I walk alone. I sleep alone. I want love but I don't feel safe unless I'm alone.
I'm following a lot of the current authors who are beginning to turn their attention on our connections to each other. Lack of connection caused our CPTSD. Like it or not, the loneliness became a defining attribute of our lives. So their new tack, as trauma psychologists, is to encourage me to love myself, and love my loneliness, and accept it as one of the things that made me who I am. They believe that as I learn to stop fighting against the loneliness, it will finally begin to heal. Accepting it as something we didn't want, but we got it anyway, gives us permission to start to let it go. I'm in the first week of practicing what they're teaching. I suspect that if I can keep it up, my own dark loneliness will start to ease up a bit. They say that what we resist persists. I resist loneliness so it persists. If I can accept it as a part of me, I can stop resisting it, and it will, in theory, dissipate.
This is the magic of this OOTS forum. We can be alone together. It still hurts, but knowing I'm feeling as alone as you are makes me feel not so alone with the loneliness. That statement probably only makes sense to us CPTSD folks.
Your post touches my heart deeply today. Loneliness has always been my lifelong sorrow also. Being utterly alone in an overcrowded world.
I agree with you that I also know that this isn't my fault. The loneliness has a mind of its own and it stays with me no matter how intellectually I "understand" it as a symptom of trauma. But, like you say, my heart still feels lonely even though my head says there's a reason for it.
If it helps, your entire post made it deep into my heart today. I feel the pain of loneliness for you as well as I do for myself.
I've been on a rampage to learn as much as I can lately about trauma and healing. I've been reading book after book about it. Some of the modern psychologists that we all trust, like Richard Schwartz, and Thomas Hubl are homing in on the loneliness of trauma more than ever. In Attuned, Hubl says It isn't the abuse that traumatized us as children, it was having to endure the abuse alone that traumatized us.
Loneliness is the greatest pain I know. And your post really said it well and really touched my heart this morning. The letter you wrote to your mom at age 10 really hit me hard. I am touched by your sincerity and your desire to connect with other people. When I was a young boy, my mom did say "I love you" a lot, but she didn't behave like it. I was treated more like a chore or a problem she had to deal with. I would occasionally ask her, "Why do you love me?" She would casually respond, "Because I'm your mother. I have to love you." That answer never made me feel very loved, but it does help me to connect my own drama with yours so that I can empathize and share this moment with you, even if it's over the internet.
One of the conundrums I deal with is I don't like the loneliness, and yet I intentionally isolate myself. I don't feel safe around other people. I feel safe alone. Nobody to criticize me or make me give up my life for theirs. The dichotomy is stressful. I feel alone so I isolate. I want friends, but I get nervous around them. So I bike alone. I kayak alone. I walk alone. I sleep alone. I want love but I don't feel safe unless I'm alone.
I'm following a lot of the current authors who are beginning to turn their attention on our connections to each other. Lack of connection caused our CPTSD. Like it or not, the loneliness became a defining attribute of our lives. So their new tack, as trauma psychologists, is to encourage me to love myself, and love my loneliness, and accept it as one of the things that made me who I am. They believe that as I learn to stop fighting against the loneliness, it will finally begin to heal. Accepting it as something we didn't want, but we got it anyway, gives us permission to start to let it go. I'm in the first week of practicing what they're teaching. I suspect that if I can keep it up, my own dark loneliness will start to ease up a bit. They say that what we resist persists. I resist loneliness so it persists. If I can accept it as a part of me, I can stop resisting it, and it will, in theory, dissipate.
This is the magic of this OOTS forum. We can be alone together. It still hurts, but knowing I'm feeling as alone as you are makes me feel not so alone with the loneliness. That statement probably only makes sense to us CPTSD folks.
#10
Recovery Journals / Re: Dalloway´s Recovery Journa...
Last post by Desert Flower - October 19, 2025, 06:09:35 PMYes, me too Dalloway.
And I'm sorry you're feeling this way. You are a loveble and lovely person!
And I'm sorry you're feeling this way. You are a loveble and lovely person!