Recent posts
#1
Recovery Journals / Re: starting over
Last post by sanmagic7 - Today at 01:39:17 PMperfect, blueberry. i'm there with it all. 
#2
General Discussion / Re: EMDR?
Last post by sanmagic7 - Today at 01:38:12 PMi think rapport is a very good word for this, saluki. i like what was told to you. hope it goes smoothly, and best to you with all of it. love and hugs
#3
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Hello
Last post by Lina24 - Today at 10:55:57 AMHello
I am here because I feel alone, even though I know there are so many people like me. I grew up with an abusive older brother who tormented me at home, school and everywhere in between. He would get other people to join in, spread rumours and frighten off anyone who looked like they might be a friend to me. My parents wouldn't accept that this was happening so just ignored it.
I was depressed and suicidal for most of my teenage years and have struggled to get by ever since.
I have had cbt with a magnificent therapist and am started my healing journey. Like many people here, I am working through the grief and anger and hoping to find a life on the other side.
I am here because I feel alone, even though I know there are so many people like me. I grew up with an abusive older brother who tormented me at home, school and everywhere in between. He would get other people to join in, spread rumours and frighten off anyone who looked like they might be a friend to me. My parents wouldn't accept that this was happening so just ignored it.
I was depressed and suicidal for most of my teenage years and have struggled to get by ever since.
I have had cbt with a magnificent therapist and am started my healing journey. Like many people here, I am working through the grief and anger and hoping to find a life on the other side.
#4
Recovery Journals / Re: starting over
Last post by Blueberry - Today at 12:29:50 AMEMS? Healing Porch? 
#5
Successes, Progress? / Progress during bad dream
Last post by Blueberry - Today at 12:27:09 AMA few nights ago, I had a very real seeming dream. I was hunched down in a kind of aircraft that was the shape of an elevator tho bigger, and I was alone. I have a general fear of flying, tho I did work thru panic a good few years ago and did manage to fly again, but still I'm frightened when in the air. I quite often have bad dreams like this. So I was cowering in this dusky, dark 'aircraft', feeling shudderings and able to see landscape down below thru cracks etc, while the 'aircraft' rose steadily upwards. Suddenly I had the impulse to lie down flat on the floor of this 'aircraft' instead of cowering. The dream disappeared immediately - the fear went, the shuddering stopped and I was lying completely stretched out. I'm not sure if I really woke up, but I did realise at some point that I was in my own bed.
I remember now how my now-retired trauma T worked with me quite a lot on posture - not to change it so much as to notice it. Notice how it feels when I cower or fall into myself or hunch my shoulders forward or lie in the fetal position. And then notice how it feels to open my body up, with my arms and legs moving out of the fetal position or out of a cowering position.
I remember now how my now-retired trauma T worked with me quite a lot on posture - not to change it so much as to notice it. Notice how it feels when I cower or fall into myself or hunch my shoulders forward or lie in the fetal position. And then notice how it feels to open my body up, with my arms and legs moving out of the fetal position or out of a cowering position.
#6
Friends / Re: I can make friends but I c...
Last post by Blueberry - October 13, 2025, 11:50:45 PMWelcome to the forum Blaithe 
I'm discovering more and more how difficult it is for me to maintain friendships, although there was a good few years in my healing journey when I seemed to be doing quite well. I thought I had lots of good friends. But I'm really pulling back atm and I'm not phoning my friends, I'm not even leaving the house.
I have a history of NO romantic relationships because I dissociate and/or my body goes numb at the thought. I'm in my 50's. In comparison, 3 months is long and I think it gives you some experience, which is generally helpful in some way.
Wanting to heal is a good start. I wish you healing step by step and hope you find this forum as supportive as I have over the years.
I'm discovering more and more how difficult it is for me to maintain friendships, although there was a good few years in my healing journey when I seemed to be doing quite well. I thought I had lots of good friends. But I'm really pulling back atm and I'm not phoning my friends, I'm not even leaving the house.
Quote from: Blaithe on October 13, 2025, 07:14:04 AMI get dissociated especially when they delay a reply.I'm sorry. I dissociate for lots of reasons and know how sudden and debilitating it can be. I very often delay with replies - months sometimes, or even years. It may of course look like rejection and abandonment, but actually the reasons are different e.g. it often takes me a long time to figure out what I really feel. So this could be the case with other people who don't reply to you. It may not have so much to do with you personally as you believe. I don't mean to minimise what you're experiencing - please tell me if it comes across that way.
I have a history of NO romantic relationships because I dissociate and/or my body goes numb at the thought. I'm in my 50's. In comparison, 3 months is long and I think it gives you some experience, which is generally helpful in some way.
Wanting to heal is a good start. I wish you healing step by step and hope you find this forum as supportive as I have over the years.
#7
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Hello
Last post by Kizzie - October 13, 2025, 11:38:48 PMHi Sapphire and a warm welcome to Out of the Storm! I hope you'll find information and support here that helps you get unstuck.
Do you see a therapist at all? That, in conjunction with coming here, may just do the trick and start things moving in a recovery direction.
Kizzie
I hope you'll find information and support here that helps you get unstuck. Do you see a therapist at all? That, in conjunction with coming here, may just do the trick and start things moving in a recovery direction.
Kizzie
#8
Letters of Recovery / Re: Hi Love Bug, (A Letter for...
Last post by GettingThere - October 13, 2025, 10:27:59 PM #9
Recovery Journals / Re: Healing journal (tw) Anger...
Last post by StartingHealing - October 13, 2025, 10:26:48 PM10/13/25
What is F-ing wrong with people?!?!? One of my sisters created a group chat of folks to keep everyone informed of what was going on with the middle sister. The new gen texting apps have this thing where you can react to a text that was received. OK cool. IMO someone fat fingered the reaction and the fecal matter ... hit the fan. what the F?!?! Every one in that group is grieving over what happened and the instigators of the sh_- storm, like really?
( insert long, loud, and creative cuss phrases here for about 5 minutes )
You know, I'm changing up a phrase a little bit. Toxic people are gonna toxic, doesn't matter if your family or not.
the text was asking folks to not post anything on social media until certain things got settled. That was the entire thing. Just don't post on social media for a period of time. Then with the reaction to the fat fingered reaction ..
I'm not, I refuse, I will not be engaging with those people, those toxic a-holes, going forward. It's saddening, but by all that is holy, to act that way? At this time? At least I have the comfort of knowing that I'm NOT genetically related to them. I've already started to quietly and slowly withdraw and then when the opportunity is right, poof. I'll disappear from them. I'm planning on moving which means a different address, ( I use a PO box anyway ) change my #, different drivers license, change email, and 0 mail forwarding. Only very select few will know any contact info for me.
Wishing all here all the best.
What is F-ing wrong with people?!?!? One of my sisters created a group chat of folks to keep everyone informed of what was going on with the middle sister. The new gen texting apps have this thing where you can react to a text that was received. OK cool. IMO someone fat fingered the reaction and the fecal matter ... hit the fan. what the F?!?! Every one in that group is grieving over what happened and the instigators of the sh_- storm, like really?
( insert long, loud, and creative cuss phrases here for about 5 minutes ) You know, I'm changing up a phrase a little bit. Toxic people are gonna toxic, doesn't matter if your family or not.
the text was asking folks to not post anything on social media until certain things got settled. That was the entire thing. Just don't post on social media for a period of time. Then with the reaction to the fat fingered reaction ..
I'm not, I refuse, I will not be engaging with those people, those toxic a-holes, going forward. It's saddening, but by all that is holy, to act that way? At this time? At least I have the comfort of knowing that I'm NOT genetically related to them. I've already started to quietly and slowly withdraw and then when the opportunity is right, poof. I'll disappear from them. I'm planning on moving which means a different address, ( I use a PO box anyway ) change my #, different drivers license, change email, and 0 mail forwarding. Only very select few will know any contact info for me.
Wishing all here all the best.
#10
Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery J...
Last post by Blueberry - October 13, 2025, 10:24:41 PMDF, I read too. I second NK but I can't write it all out, I'm sorry. 
I'm so with you on the over-use of "trauma" and "trigger" by those without ptsd or cptsd.
I'm so with you on the over-use of "trauma" and "trigger" by those without ptsd or cptsd.