Recent posts
#1
Recovery Journals / Re: I Am
Last post by Desert Flower - October 14, 2025, 06:33:09 PMHi Bach, I can totally relate to the way you were worrying about the parrot and just having to go check up on her. It's just impossible to let go of an urge like that. I think you are taking good care of her too.
#2
Recovery Journals / Re: starting over
Last post by Desert Flower - October 14, 2025, 06:30:55 PMHi San, just dropping my to say I'm sorry you're not feeling well at all.
Also, sorry I missed your birthday and sending some late birthday wishes anyway.
And most of all, I feel I should apologise to you for disappearing from the forum again like I did, while you're being such a loyal poster and friend. No need to accept if you don't feel like it. I just wanted to let you know I know I'm not very dependable that way, sorry.
Big hugs nonetheless
Also, sorry I missed your birthday and sending some late birthday wishes anyway.
And most of all, I feel I should apologise to you for disappearing from the forum again like I did, while you're being such a loyal poster and friend. No need to accept if you don't feel like it. I just wanted to let you know I know I'm not very dependable that way, sorry.
Big hugs nonetheless
#3
Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery J...
Last post by Desert Flower - October 14, 2025, 06:24:44 PMThank you too, Blueberry
#5
Recovery Journals / Re: starting over
Last post by sanmagic7 - October 14, 2025, 01:39:17 PMperfect, blueberry. i'm there with it all.
#6
General Discussion / Re: EMDR?
Last post by sanmagic7 - October 14, 2025, 01:38:12 PMi think rapport is a very good word for this, saluki. i like what was told to you. hope it goes smoothly, and best to you with all of it. love and hugs
#7
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Hello
Last post by Lina24 - October 14, 2025, 10:55:57 AMHello
I am here because I feel alone, even though I know there are so many people like me. I grew up with an abusive older brother who tormented me at home, school and everywhere in between. He would get other people to join in, spread rumours and frighten off anyone who looked like they might be a friend to me. My parents wouldn't accept that this was happening so just ignored it.
I was depressed and suicidal for most of my teenage years and have struggled to get by ever since.
I have had cbt with a magnificent therapist and am started my healing journey. Like many people here, I am working through the grief and anger and hoping to find a life on the other side.
I am here because I feel alone, even though I know there are so many people like me. I grew up with an abusive older brother who tormented me at home, school and everywhere in between. He would get other people to join in, spread rumours and frighten off anyone who looked like they might be a friend to me. My parents wouldn't accept that this was happening so just ignored it.
I was depressed and suicidal for most of my teenage years and have struggled to get by ever since.
I have had cbt with a magnificent therapist and am started my healing journey. Like many people here, I am working through the grief and anger and hoping to find a life on the other side.
#8
Recovery Journals / Re: starting over
Last post by Blueberry - October 14, 2025, 12:29:50 AMEMS? Healing Porch? 
#9
Successes, Progress? / Progress during bad dream
Last post by Blueberry - October 14, 2025, 12:27:09 AMA few nights ago, I had a very real seeming dream. I was hunched down in a kind of aircraft that was the shape of an elevator tho bigger, and I was alone. I have a general fear of flying, tho I did work thru panic a good few years ago and did manage to fly again, but still I'm frightened when in the air. I quite often have bad dreams like this. So I was cowering in this dusky, dark 'aircraft', feeling shudderings and able to see landscape down below thru cracks etc, while the 'aircraft' rose steadily upwards. Suddenly I had the impulse to lie down flat on the floor of this 'aircraft' instead of cowering. The dream disappeared immediately - the fear went, the shuddering stopped and I was lying completely stretched out. I'm not sure if I really woke up, but I did realise at some point that I was in my own bed.
I remember now how my now-retired trauma T worked with me quite a lot on posture - not to change it so much as to notice it. Notice how it feels when I cower or fall into myself or hunch my shoulders forward or lie in the fetal position. And then notice how it feels to open my body up, with my arms and legs moving out of the fetal position or out of a cowering position.
I remember now how my now-retired trauma T worked with me quite a lot on posture - not to change it so much as to notice it. Notice how it feels when I cower or fall into myself or hunch my shoulders forward or lie in the fetal position. And then notice how it feels to open my body up, with my arms and legs moving out of the fetal position or out of a cowering position.
#10
Friends / Re: I can make friends but I c...
Last post by Blueberry - October 13, 2025, 11:50:45 PMWelcome to the forum Blaithe 
I'm discovering more and more how difficult it is for me to maintain friendships, although there was a good few years in my healing journey when I seemed to be doing quite well. I thought I had lots of good friends. But I'm really pulling back atm and I'm not phoning my friends, I'm not even leaving the house.
I have a history of NO romantic relationships because I dissociate and/or my body goes numb at the thought. I'm in my 50's. In comparison, 3 months is long and I think it gives you some experience, which is generally helpful in some way.
Wanting to heal is a good start. I wish you healing step by step and hope you find this forum as supportive as I have over the years.
I'm discovering more and more how difficult it is for me to maintain friendships, although there was a good few years in my healing journey when I seemed to be doing quite well. I thought I had lots of good friends. But I'm really pulling back atm and I'm not phoning my friends, I'm not even leaving the house.
Quote from: Blaithe on October 13, 2025, 07:14:04 AMI get dissociated especially when they delay a reply.I'm sorry. I dissociate for lots of reasons and know how sudden and debilitating it can be. I very often delay with replies - months sometimes, or even years. It may of course look like rejection and abandonment, but actually the reasons are different e.g. it often takes me a long time to figure out what I really feel. So this could be the case with other people who don't reply to you. It may not have so much to do with you personally as you believe. I don't mean to minimise what you're experiencing - please tell me if it comes across that way.
I have a history of NO romantic relationships because I dissociate and/or my body goes numb at the thought. I'm in my 50's. In comparison, 3 months is long and I think it gives you some experience, which is generally helpful in some way.
Wanting to heal is a good start. I wish you healing step by step and hope you find this forum as supportive as I have over the years.