Recent posts

#21

Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery J...

Last post by sanmagic7 - January 10, 2026, 01:10:30 PM

DF, i relate a whole lot to the idea of the 'what i used to be able to do' thoughts, and the uncertainty now about how much my system tolerates in reality.  being able to know where a good stopping point is for us can be so nerve-wracking!  i think it's part of the process of getting to know ourselves better in the here and now, our capabilities, our stopping points.  up and down and around and around.

after all that, tho, i do think you're doing a good job of wading thru all of it and that it'll come easier as you keep practicing.  with you all the way.  love and hugs

#22

Books & Articles / Re: Fawning

Last post by dollyvee - January 10, 2026, 10:16:29 AM

This was really valid for me especially the part about being connected to self (or how I'm interpreting it through an IFS lens), and what happens during a therapy session where one wants to earnestly "do good" so they can get better, but also don't feel like they have access to the things the therapist is talking about. Been there. I also relate to treating the therapist as the one that has all the answers and wonder if some of the struggle now between my t and I is me trying to assert more of myself, and her not necessarily being in that position any more. Would like to read the book as well.

edit: oh! I just realized that she also wrote, Believing Me, which I really related to and found helpful.

#23

Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery J...

Last post by Chart - January 10, 2026, 09:47:49 AM

DF, in the second world war the Americans used the term 'combat fatigue'. Regardless what it meant to people back then, I sure as heck identify with the term right now. I'm absolutely EXHAUSTED... I've forced myself to work theses past couple of weeks... it's a complete horror. Zero energy and my body has simply said 'nope'.

Sounds like you're in similar straights. I don't want to project on you, but for me I'm guessing that my life has really been a war and I've been battling since... since conception actually... The struggle has now fully caught up with me. I'm starting to get seriously scared about the future and work. But regardless, I need to rest. I now spend full weeks in bed. I wake up exhausted, having nonetheless slept long and deeply. I'm in relatively constant pain... wait... my intention wasn't that... (All that's just my "qualifications" :-)
DF, I think it's great the realizations and changes you've made recently. And it's not easy... at all. Which "part" to listen to is a slick question. And there's certainly no quick answer. Me, I do "negotiation" internally. I try to see what's coming and what the priorities are AND THEN try to make an evaluation of what my inner children and body need. Next I wonder consciously if there's a possibility to work through all the parameters and constraints in such a way as to "satisfy" all parties... Note: I NEVER find a "solution" right off the bat. But I know from experience that the process will trickle down into my unconscious... and it's there that all the "real" problem-solving occurs.

Just some observations and random thoughts.

And YEAH! to continuing yoga!
 

#24

Recovery Journals / Re: Post-Traumatic Growth Jour...

Last post by Chart - January 10, 2026, 09:20:59 AM

I'm not proud of letting things come to this point.

Maybe... but I want to say I think you can be darn proud of yourself for coming to these realizations about your value and self-esteem. And having the courage to speak out and end these toxic relationships.
Bravo!

#25

Recovery Journals / Re: Steve M...Here We Go

Last post by SteveM - January 10, 2026, 02:21:37 AM

Thanks NK and Chart for your kind words and I hope to be here a bit more as the upheaval of the move and the new build settle down.

#26

Recovery Journals / Re: Post-Traumatic Growth Jour...

Last post by TheBigBlue - January 10, 2026, 12:54:27 AM

Thank you SO and Chart

...are worth so much more than that. We all are.

 

#27

Frustrated? Set Backs? / Re: stuck in a loop

Last post by Blueberry - January 10, 2026, 12:41:12 AM

We're doing everything we can to keep going and to keep getting better. We just don't know what to do or say at this point. Everyone goes down the same list of ideas/solutions for us. Everyone gets stumped by the way our issues interact with each other. No one seems to have anything new to say or suggest. "I'm trying" is always met with "try harder" but we can't. Whether it's allergies or pain everything that we love is being slowly stripped away. We've been watching it happen for the last 16 years. We've been stuck in this loop for so long. We're still trying. It's just getting harder.

That sounds so hard! I'm sorry. I kind of get it too, because I've been working on my own stuff for ages and some things are getting worse, but otoh I do see and feel progress. If you don't really, then that's got to be really difficult    

I think it's kinda normal in cptsd for issues to all interact with each other. So I'm sorry if none of your medical / therapeutic people understand that.

I don't think I've been told for a long, long time to "try harder", except by my own Inner Critic. But not by professionals, so I'm sorry you've been told that. Usually with cptsd we're trying really hard anyway, so what's the use of suggesting we do even more?

I'm wondering if you would be helped by any of these https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?board=272.0 ? They're free and you can watch as much or as little as you like. Often when I feel stuck, this kind of thing is useful. They give me a tiny bit of hope and maybe some impetus to do a tiny bit of something helpful/constructive for myself. Sometimes a listening includes a 5 minute exercise which I find can settle down my anxiety a little bit. I learned in inpatient trauma-informed therapy that focussing your mind on 'something else' other than rumination or anxiety or stress for just 5 minutes can help.

If none of the above sounds useful, please just ignore it.

#28

Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery J...

Last post by Blueberry - January 10, 2026, 12:23:31 AM

  to you

#29

Conferences/Courses / FREE, 26 Jan. - 1st Feb. 2026,...

Last post by Blueberry - January 10, 2026, 12:20:16 AM

https://www.consciouslife.com/conferences/tsc-6/agenda

If you join up before the conference, there are 6 pre-talks you can listen to free-of-charge, by Peter Levine, Alex Howard, Arielle Schwartz and a few other people.

As always: These types of conferences and summits are free during the conference. Once you sign up, you'll get a fair number of emails suggesting you pay for permanent access. That's really not necessary. The material gets recycled - it'll come up in another conference/summit in a few months!

+ see my post here for additional general info: https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=16458.0

#30

Books & Articles / Re: Fawning

Last post by Marcine - January 10, 2026, 12:02:47 AM

I finished reading the book and recommend it. Very relatable with lots of her experience as a therapist and as a trauma survivor.
She refers to Pete Walker's work as well as connecting many dots that have relevance to all of us in this world that demands and rewards fawning.