Recent posts
#21
General Discussion / Re: Taking part in a research
Last post by TheBigBlue - Today at 01:06:26 PM
(If that's ok)
#22
Recovery Journals / Re: Living As All of Me
Last post by Dalloway - Today at 12:33:05 PMHannah, I think that it is absolutely normal and fine to have days like this, even if it doesn´t feel good, what I am sincerely sorry for. Being with that, recognizing and acknowledging it is in my opinion the best gift you can give to yourself for Valentine´s day. Thinking about you and hoping you feel that you´re not alone. Hang in there
#23
Recovery Journals / Re: Marcine’s journaling forwa...
Last post by SenseOrgan - Today at 11:36:12 AMThe serenity prayer is a beautiful one. It speaks to me too.
Right from your start here, your writing has been emanating a raw, no nonsense kind of strength I really appreciate. I like that you know the things you listed to be true about you. It takes courage to own that and to show up like that. Especially when you grew up in an environment that demanded you to adopt views you know to be fantasy. Messengers are often shot at, even if they are innocent children who aren't into fooling themselves. IMHO you are choosing love over fear. And love ain't for the faint of heart. I don't know to what degree it's a challenging idea to you, but there are people who actually like your company because of what makes you you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing.
'It Is No Measure of Health To Be Well-Adjusted to a Profoundly Sick Society' Jiddu Krishnamurti
Right from your start here, your writing has been emanating a raw, no nonsense kind of strength I really appreciate. I like that you know the things you listed to be true about you. It takes courage to own that and to show up like that. Especially when you grew up in an environment that demanded you to adopt views you know to be fantasy. Messengers are often shot at, even if they are innocent children who aren't into fooling themselves. IMHO you are choosing love over fear. And love ain't for the faint of heart. I don't know to what degree it's a challenging idea to you, but there are people who actually like your company because of what makes you you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing.
'It Is No Measure of Health To Be Well-Adjusted to a Profoundly Sick Society' Jiddu Krishnamurti
#24
Books & Articles / Re: Gisèle Pelicot - A Hymn to...
Last post by dollyvee - Today at 09:38:05 AMThe sad thing is is that there is also a city councillor in the UK that has also been accused of doing this.
I admit I have been on somewhat of a doom spiral trying to process all the information coming out of the Epstein files recently, and I also agree that the shame has to change sides. So brave of her for doing this.
I admit I have been on somewhat of a doom spiral trying to process all the information coming out of the Epstein files recently, and I also agree that the shame has to change sides. So brave of her for doing this.
#25
Recovery Journals / Re: The ramblings of an abused...
Last post by GoSlash27 - Today at 05:05:40 AMLast area is the "interview room". That's where they brought me to meet my new foster parents. It was like the yard, but darker and tiny. Same chairs, different table.
They pulled me out of the yard and changed my clothes, brought me to this room.
The interaction itself is a whole story, but the upshot is when you go to a shelter and visit the dogs, I know exactly how the dogs feel.
I think that's it. I'll recount more details if I remember any.
They pulled me out of the yard and changed my clothes, brought me to this room.
The interaction itself is a whole story, but the upshot is when you go to a shelter and visit the dogs, I know exactly how the dogs feel.
I think that's it. I'll recount more details if I remember any.
#26
General Discussion / Taking part in a research
Last post by Teddy bear - Today at 04:52:19 AMHi everyone 
Just decided to share that I am taking part in a psychiatric research as a participant now.
I am so excited, and that so interesting!
Couldn't keep quiet ☺️
Looking forward to the results which they are happy to share.
While we still have some work to do together
A very life-asserting and stimulating experience
Just decided to share that I am taking part in a psychiatric research as a participant now.
I am so excited, and that so interesting!
Couldn't keep quiet ☺️
Looking forward to the results which they are happy to share.
While we still have some work to do together
A very life-asserting and stimulating experience
#27
Symptoms - Other / Re: Complex Relational Trauma,...
Last post by Teddy bear - Today at 04:43:26 AMQuote from: Armee on February 13, 2026, 08:35:48 PMYeah that's true Teddy Bear. I do wonder what causes one person to head toward a CPTSD presentation, one toward personality disorder, one toward schizophrenia, and one toward psychopathy.
Exactly, and some comorbidities are also possible, which makes it even more complex...
Probably genetics, epigenetics, environmental factors etc
And also misdiagnoses...
As for me most of that labels are kind of outdated: imho most of the conditions are connected with trauma.
#28
Recovery Journals / Re: The ramblings of an abused...
Last post by GoSlash27 - Today at 04:32:45 AM There were only two other scenes I can recount from my time there. They may have been separate buildings or subdivisions of the others.
The "induction area". I think I've already recounted this area. I'll check and come back.
*Oops*, I guess not.
My baby sister (age 2) went first in the back of a white sedan driven by some lady in a black dress with a briefcase. I assume she was a caseworker. My brother (age 4) instructed me to do as the adults said and everything would be okay. I (age almost exactly 3) went next in the back of a police paddywagon , screaming and crying all the way.
When I arrived, they put me in a bassinet in a large dark room full of bassinets, but I was the only kid there. Same layout as the "yard", but with the same security area I described with the dorms. The bassinet was too small for me and I was in full freakout mode. The only light was from the security area and the security lady cocked back her fist and threatened to punch me in the face if I didn't shut up.
I think this event is linked to the song "Jet".
The "induction area". I think I've already recounted this area. I'll check and come back.
*Oops*, I guess not.
My baby sister (age 2) went first in the back of a white sedan driven by some lady in a black dress with a briefcase. I assume she was a caseworker. My brother (age 4) instructed me to do as the adults said and everything would be okay. I (age almost exactly 3) went next in the back of a police paddywagon , screaming and crying all the way.
When I arrived, they put me in a bassinet in a large dark room full of bassinets, but I was the only kid there. Same layout as the "yard", but with the same security area I described with the dorms. The bassinet was too small for me and I was in full freakout mode. The only light was from the security area and the security lady cocked back her fist and threatened to punch me in the face if I didn't shut up.
I think this event is linked to the song "Jet".
#29
Recovery Journals / Re: The ramblings of an abused...
Last post by GoSlash27 - Today at 04:25:18 AMMcEntyre Shelter main building, ca 1974.
I don't know what word to use to describe this facility. It was like a gymnasium, but much larger. The shelter was functionally a "kid prison", so the best word to describe it would be "yard". Except it was indoors. We were never allowed to be outdoors.
We spent most of our time in this area. It was subdivided by tan tweed accordion fold dividers. Large institutional "prison" space. laquered salmon colored cinderblock walls, large inset windows reinforced and barred, too high to see out of.
Each sub- room held kids of the same age, carefully segregated from siblings. They served as nurseries/ preschools/ schools appropriate to age.
The rooms contained long white tables. Almost like party tables but bigger. And instead of typical school benches, they had separate pastel fiberglass chairs.
Everything was done at those tables, including meals.
There were toys, coloring books, a mobile blackboard, Little Golden Books, etc.
Contact between siblings was strictly forbidden, but just as I could defeat the latch on my crib, my brother found a way to work around the restriction. He checked on me and showed me where my sister was kept. Sometimes when the partitions were half open I could spot her.
Eventually both were gone and it was just me.
I don't know what word to use to describe this facility. It was like a gymnasium, but much larger. The shelter was functionally a "kid prison", so the best word to describe it would be "yard". Except it was indoors. We were never allowed to be outdoors.
We spent most of our time in this area. It was subdivided by tan tweed accordion fold dividers. Large institutional "prison" space. laquered salmon colored cinderblock walls, large inset windows reinforced and barred, too high to see out of.
Each sub- room held kids of the same age, carefully segregated from siblings. They served as nurseries/ preschools/ schools appropriate to age.
The rooms contained long white tables. Almost like party tables but bigger. And instead of typical school benches, they had separate pastel fiberglass chairs.
Everything was done at those tables, including meals.
There were toys, coloring books, a mobile blackboard, Little Golden Books, etc.
Contact between siblings was strictly forbidden, but just as I could defeat the latch on my crib, my brother found a way to work around the restriction. He checked on me and showed me where my sister was kept. Sometimes when the partitions were half open I could spot her.
Eventually both were gone and it was just me.
#30
Recovery Journals / Re: Living As All of Me
Last post by HannahOne - Today at 03:59:04 AMMade both kids a Valentine bag, even though one's 18 and off to her boyfriend's for the weekend. Want them to have love no matter what. Felt flat all day and did nothing else. Laid in bed and looked at the wall. Didn't put on clothes. All the clothes look like someone else's closet. Maybe some emotional flashback, maybe some depersonalization going on. Can't imagine ever wanting clothes, putting on any of those clothes, whose clothes are those. Stuff on the floor looks foreign, who ever wanted a suitcase full of wool and sporks? Zero interest in painting. Responded to zero texts, screen a column of green circles. Hand looks far away, why is arm so long? To do list is undone. Who wanted to make appointments, resolve X issue with IEP team, and send a thank you note? Whatever. No appetite. Partner brought dinner home for kids. Half-heartedly pet Frank, who ever wanted a rabbit? Asked kid to feed and water said Frank, went back to bed. Writing to keep faith with process. Tomorrow another day. Sometimes it's like this. Sometimes this is what it's like. Made both kids a Valentine's bag. Wanted them to know they are loved.