Recent posts
#21
Recovery Journals / Re: The tipping point…
Last post by SenseOrgan - February 16, 2026, 06:13:59 PMHanging in there Chart?
#22
Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery J...
Last post by SenseOrgan - February 16, 2026, 06:12:48 PMNo worries Desert Flower. Sometimes other things deserve our time and energy. I hope you're doing well. 
#23
Physical Issues / Weight fluctuations, body dysm...
Last post by Teddy bear - February 16, 2026, 06:09:54 PMHello,
I hope this is the right place to post this.
I was feeling very tired today and decided to chat with an acquaintance who also has a psychiatric history.
In general, it was a casual conversation, but I didn't like her questions about my body size and her comments afterward. Though she said it was okay—a normal size—probably trying to be reassuring, I felt like I was under a microscope.
Over the past few years, I've had an ongoing battle with my weight, which I was gaining because of psychiatric medications. (Almost everyone has this problem.) Currently, the medication should have a minimal effect, but I still haven't been able to get back into the shape I'm used to this year.
So I felt disappointed after her remarks. It also triggered my body dysmorphia, I think.
(What I was trying to convey to her, aside from expressing my feelings, is that I've read research suggesting caffeine can interact with antipsychotics. This may result in higher BMI and cholesterol. She dismissed these facts—even though she's a coffee drinker, she said it's fine for her.)
I've made an appointment with another doctor today to discuss these issues as well.
Have you experienced any similar problems: weight fluctuations, dysmorphia, or sensitivity to comments like this?
Thank you
I hope this is the right place to post this.
I was feeling very tired today and decided to chat with an acquaintance who also has a psychiatric history.
In general, it was a casual conversation, but I didn't like her questions about my body size and her comments afterward. Though she said it was okay—a normal size—probably trying to be reassuring, I felt like I was under a microscope.
Over the past few years, I've had an ongoing battle with my weight, which I was gaining because of psychiatric medications. (Almost everyone has this problem.) Currently, the medication should have a minimal effect, but I still haven't been able to get back into the shape I'm used to this year.
So I felt disappointed after her remarks. It also triggered my body dysmorphia, I think.
(What I was trying to convey to her, aside from expressing my feelings, is that I've read research suggesting caffeine can interact with antipsychotics. This may result in higher BMI and cholesterol. She dismissed these facts—even though she's a coffee drinker, she said it's fine for her.)
I've made an appointment with another doctor today to discuss these issues as well.
Have you experienced any similar problems: weight fluctuations, dysmorphia, or sensitivity to comments like this?
Thank you
#24
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by SenseOrgan - February 16, 2026, 05:52:57 PM
Go for it San! 
Nearly every time I'm working in the woods a robin visits. I like em a lot. They're such inquisitive and undaunted creatures.
#25
Recovery Journals / Re: Dalloway´s Recovery Journa...
Last post by SenseOrgan - February 16, 2026, 05:42:17 PMCongratulations Dalloway! The spell of unworthiness is broken. I'm popping the Champaign my friend. Here's to the point of no return. 🥂 
#26
Symptoms - Other / Re: Complex Relational Trauma,...
Last post by Kizzie - February 16, 2026, 05:30:20 PMHey Big Blue, as often happens when I read your posts I find myself saying "Yes!"
Several years ago I came across something to do with the being "other-referenced" versus "self-referenced". It rang so true because in my family of origin I had to constantly be on the lookout for anger leading to abuse/neglect so I was very "other-referenced" as a way of keeping as safe as I could. This carried over to all my encounters with others and I kept losing myself. I did not know who I was and how to reside in my own body. I always allowed myself to be pulled out by others and the main strategy I had was to be overly interested in them and overly empathetic to anything they were going through. It was a kind of fawning response but it did keep me safe or so I thought. What that led to is as you write "And what emerges is exactly what hurts so deeply: the feeling that something fundamentally human - reciprocal empathy - is missing." I did not ask for reciprocity, I made it seem like I didn't need it so of course people were happy to talk about themselves. It's not something that grows genuine relationships though.
At some point I knew I had to start self-referencing and it was difficult I will admit. There was no roadmap other than when I felt myself being overly concerned with others I needed to pull back and try to look after me. That felt selfish for the longest while. I also starting pulling back from people who only have the capacity to talk about themselves. Now people who do that actually make me angry because I grew up with N's and it drags me back to my roots, a place I don't want to go. When you can't get a word in edgewise it says something about that person, and it's nothing I want to rescue them from anymore or expend my energy on. That sounds a bit brutal as I write it, but I am not talking about people who need genuine empathy, support, compassion, etc. It's those who are only to happy to take up airspace without reciprocity - big red flag for me these days.
Anyway, now I feel like I am much more regulated which is to say it feels like I have an authentic interest in others and genuine empathy that I don't get lost in. I do still have to watch myself because old habits die hard, but what helps is knowing about being self versus other referenced. I can hear myself telling myself nowadays to stay in my body and make sure I remain regulated in relationships.
Great post, thanks!
Several years ago I came across something to do with the being "other-referenced" versus "self-referenced". It rang so true because in my family of origin I had to constantly be on the lookout for anger leading to abuse/neglect so I was very "other-referenced" as a way of keeping as safe as I could. This carried over to all my encounters with others and I kept losing myself. I did not know who I was and how to reside in my own body. I always allowed myself to be pulled out by others and the main strategy I had was to be overly interested in them and overly empathetic to anything they were going through. It was a kind of fawning response but it did keep me safe or so I thought. What that led to is as you write "And what emerges is exactly what hurts so deeply: the feeling that something fundamentally human - reciprocal empathy - is missing." I did not ask for reciprocity, I made it seem like I didn't need it so of course people were happy to talk about themselves. It's not something that grows genuine relationships though.
At some point I knew I had to start self-referencing and it was difficult I will admit. There was no roadmap other than when I felt myself being overly concerned with others I needed to pull back and try to look after me. That felt selfish for the longest while. I also starting pulling back from people who only have the capacity to talk about themselves. Now people who do that actually make me angry because I grew up with N's and it drags me back to my roots, a place I don't want to go. When you can't get a word in edgewise it says something about that person, and it's nothing I want to rescue them from anymore or expend my energy on. That sounds a bit brutal as I write it, but I am not talking about people who need genuine empathy, support, compassion, etc. It's those who are only to happy to take up airspace without reciprocity - big red flag for me these days.
Anyway, now I feel like I am much more regulated which is to say it feels like I have an authentic interest in others and genuine empathy that I don't get lost in. I do still have to watch myself because old habits die hard, but what helps is knowing about being self versus other referenced. I can hear myself telling myself nowadays to stay in my body and make sure I remain regulated in relationships.
Great post, thanks!
#27
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by NarcKiddo - February 16, 2026, 03:53:36 PMYay for the robin and the red highlights. I'm glad you're showing your inner princess to the world again.
#28
Recovery Journals / Re: Marcine’s journaling forwa...
Last post by NarcKiddo - February 16, 2026, 03:51:16 PMI'm glad you are finding a path to self-acceptance and being a friend to yourself.
#29
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by Armee - February 16, 2026, 03:42:26 PM Joyoushugs filled with red Robin songs for the red Robin princess on her way to therapy to get loving kind support.
#30
Recovery Journals / Re: Marcine’s journaling forwa...
Last post by Chart - February 16, 2026, 02:19:49 PM