Recent posts
#91
Successes, Progress? / Re: Post-Traumatic Joy
Last post by TheBigBlue - January 11, 2026, 12:25:39 PM
#92
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Greetings from the storm- ...
Last post by TheBigBlue - January 11, 2026, 12:22:38 PMHi Olly, welcome! 
And happy New Year to you too.
Thank you for trusting this space with your story.
Favorite reptile... oh wow, that is a good and hard question.
If I go purely symbolic: chameleons have always fascinated me. Beautiful, slow, almost still - but with those independently moving eyes that scan everything. Blending in, almost invisible; calm on the outside, hyper-aware underneath. That one resonates.
I also have a soft spot for geckos. They're kind of adorable, show up quietly, and do something genuinely useful just by being there. I let them stay when they occasionally move in - free mosquito and fly control - and the whole "hairy palm physics" thing (sticking to everything without glue) still blows my mind.
If you'll allow me to cheat a little: my final pick would be the axolotl (I know - amphibian, not reptile 🙂). Their facial expression is adorable, but also something about staying in a form that works for survival, not forcing a transformation just because it's "expected," and surviving in a very particular environment... that feels meaningful to me.
Most of my favorite animals though, I realize, are the ones that helped me survive or regulate in real life - like my service dog Baloo. Long before I understood trauma and that I have CPTSD, I was drawn to sitting for hours with fearful, undersocialized dogs in animal shelters - not training them, not pushing them, just staying quiet, predictable, and present until their nervous systems settled. The change was often marked by a deep sigh and finally falling asleep. I only recognize now that this was co-regulation.
This question turned out to be deeper than I thought. Thanks for asking it - and for being here. 💛
And happy New Year to you too.
Thank you for trusting this space with your story.
Favorite reptile... oh wow, that is a good and hard question.
If I go purely symbolic: chameleons have always fascinated me. Beautiful, slow, almost still - but with those independently moving eyes that scan everything. Blending in, almost invisible; calm on the outside, hyper-aware underneath. That one resonates.
I also have a soft spot for geckos. They're kind of adorable, show up quietly, and do something genuinely useful just by being there. I let them stay when they occasionally move in - free mosquito and fly control - and the whole "hairy palm physics" thing (sticking to everything without glue) still blows my mind.
If you'll allow me to cheat a little: my final pick would be the axolotl (I know - amphibian, not reptile 🙂). Their facial expression is adorable, but also something about staying in a form that works for survival, not forcing a transformation just because it's "expected," and surviving in a very particular environment... that feels meaningful to me.
Most of my favorite animals though, I realize, are the ones that helped me survive or regulate in real life - like my service dog Baloo. Long before I understood trauma and that I have CPTSD, I was drawn to sitting for hours with fearful, undersocialized dogs in animal shelters - not training them, not pushing them, just staying quiet, predictable, and present until their nervous systems settled. The change was often marked by a deep sigh and finally falling asleep. I only recognize now that this was co-regulation.
This question turned out to be deeper than I thought. Thanks for asking it - and for being here. 💛
#93
Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery J...
Last post by NarcKiddo - January 11, 2026, 11:35:46 AMIt's really weird coming to terms with parts, I find. I found Janina Fisher very helpful. I don't have many parts (at least I don't think I do), just a couple of inner children, but they are capable of hijacking adult me completely and without my realising - especially teenage NK. I didn't realise she did that, actually, until she did it during a therapy session but hesitated and adult NK became aware of her pulling down the shutter, as it were.
It sounds like you dealt with that unexpected phone call very well and I hope you get the desired result.
It sounds like you dealt with that unexpected phone call very well and I hope you get the desired result.
#94
Successes, Progress? / Re: Post-Traumatic Joy
Last post by NarcKiddo - January 11, 2026, 11:25:52 AM
#95
Frustrated? Set Backs? / Re: stuck in a loop
Last post by NarcKiddo - January 11, 2026, 11:23:29 AMThat sounds really tough. Ignore this if it doesn't help, but Kizzie's post touches very much on what I was thinking as I read yours. It sounds like you have been doing so much hard work to get better that maybe you need a rest from that. Maybe taking stock of what is "good enough" and just sticking there for a while could help. It doesn't mean you are settling, it doesn't mean you are saying that something is good enough for ever. But maybe it is good enough for now, while you take a breather and take time to plan the next step. It feels from your post that you are being bombarded by so much that you feel like you are being backed into a corner and being forced to be reactive. Nobody can sustain that - but the corner can be helpful too. The walls have got your back. Maybe you don't need to fight your way out of the corner just yet.
I hope things improve soon.
I hope things improve soon.
#96
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Greetings from the storm- ...
Last post by NarcKiddo - January 11, 2026, 11:12:23 AMHello, and welcome.
My favourite reptile? The tortoise. When I think about it, the tortoise kind of replicates the protections we build up with CPTSD. A great heavy shell that functions well in many ways, but we have to stick our head out if we want to do pretty much anything.
I think many of us here are familiar with the feeling of not even being able to open up to a therapist. You're not alone. We get it, and I'm glad you found us.
My favourite reptile? The tortoise. When I think about it, the tortoise kind of replicates the protections we build up with CPTSD. A great heavy shell that functions well in many ways, but we have to stick our head out if we want to do pretty much anything.
I think many of us here are familiar with the feeling of not even being able to open up to a therapist. You're not alone. We get it, and I'm glad you found us.
#97
Recovery Journals / Re: Ran's journey
Last post by Ran - January 11, 2026, 10:24:29 AMI have actually started dating him. It just happened. I can tell that I do have genuine feelings, but he is a massive troll as he pushes my cptsd attachment buttons deliberately. I don't hate it all, but I just fear that once things are over as long distance relationships last rarely, then it will hit me hard also I got overwhelmed too, but that part might be too triggering, so
Trigger warning: flashback, claustrophobia, trapped, panic attack!!!
I started feeling claustrophobic, because I was suddenly put into a wife role, with no ceremonies and I had an I think it was flashback of people's faces around me watching, so I felt trapped. I got even a bit of an panic attack. I'm over it now, but it was something new.
Trigger warning: flashback, claustrophobia, trapped, panic attack!!!
I started feeling claustrophobic, because I was suddenly put into a wife role, with no ceremonies and I had an I think it was flashback of people's faces around me watching, so I felt trapped. I got even a bit of an panic attack. I'm over it now, but it was something new.
#98
Successes, Progress? / Re: Post-Traumatic Joy
Last post by SenseOrgan - January 11, 2026, 10:10:02 AMKizzie
Exactly! Thank you for creating the space where we can find "the others". Cheers!
dollyvee
Thank you! Cheers!
Exactly! Thank you for creating the space where we can find "the others". Cheers!
dollyvee
Thank you! Cheers!
#99
Books & Articles / David Bedrick - The Unshaming ...
Last post by SenseOrgan - January 11, 2026, 09:50:05 AMDavid Bedrick - The Unshaming Way: A 3-Part Model for Dismantling Shame - Integrate Trauma, Unlearn Self-Blame, and Reclaim Your Personal Power
For readers of Brené Brown, Curt Thompson, and Tara Brach. We're sold the idea that shame serves a purpose: it must protect us from something...otherwise it wouldn't be there. Right?
Not really. In Unshamed, author, mental health expert, and professor David Bedrick reveals that there really is no good "use" for shame—and offers a revolutionary model to dismantle it. He shows how shame affects us all...and often in ways we might not expect. Shame connects to our struggles, our relationships, how we show up in the world, and how the world shows up (or fails to) for us. So how we can shed our shame, integrate our trauma, and unleash the personal power, efficacy, and confidence that are our birthright? Bedrick breaks it down in three parts:
Respect: how the practice of witnessing can help us be fully seen, heard, and held—and what that can do for our self-power and self-esteem
Relating: how to restore our sense of mattering—especially when our hurt, neglect, or trauma shows up as shame
Radical belief: how we can reclaim our voice, experiences, and embodied truths by owning our authority, autonomy, and authentic needs without projecting our shame and trauma onto others
Bedrick explores the roots of shame, sharing the connections between trauma, shame, and experiential validation—and explains how shame shows up when woundedness isn't seen, held, and appreciated by ourselves and our loved ones.
He helps us understand the role of boundaries in healing from shame; how shame impacts our physical health and wellness; how to unshame disturbing feelings; and the interconnections among body, social issues, shame, and abuse. With exercises, profound insights, case studies, and psychological science, Unshamed is an easy-to-understand guide to breaking shame down for good.
source: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/209194384-the-unshaming-way
You can't truly understand trauma, without understanding shame. Unshaming is the essence of trauma healing. Most of us are, consciously, or unconsciously, imprisoned by shame. What is Unshaming? When you Unshame, you stop viewing the things you're ashamed of as broken parts of yourself that need to be fixed or healed. You integrate the deep meaning behind your difficulties, as if they are invitations to embrace your wholeness and doorways to your shadow's gold. The result is a life liberated from judgment, connected to your inner intelligence, and attuned to a profound sense of wellness. A life where you understand what your next steps should be, as you begin to walk a path that is aligned with your soul purpose and the unique medicine you are here to share with the world.
source: https://www.davidbedrick.com/
For readers of Brené Brown, Curt Thompson, and Tara Brach. We're sold the idea that shame serves a purpose: it must protect us from something...otherwise it wouldn't be there. Right?
Not really. In Unshamed, author, mental health expert, and professor David Bedrick reveals that there really is no good "use" for shame—and offers a revolutionary model to dismantle it. He shows how shame affects us all...and often in ways we might not expect. Shame connects to our struggles, our relationships, how we show up in the world, and how the world shows up (or fails to) for us. So how we can shed our shame, integrate our trauma, and unleash the personal power, efficacy, and confidence that are our birthright? Bedrick breaks it down in three parts:
Respect: how the practice of witnessing can help us be fully seen, heard, and held—and what that can do for our self-power and self-esteem
Relating: how to restore our sense of mattering—especially when our hurt, neglect, or trauma shows up as shame
Radical belief: how we can reclaim our voice, experiences, and embodied truths by owning our authority, autonomy, and authentic needs without projecting our shame and trauma onto others
Bedrick explores the roots of shame, sharing the connections between trauma, shame, and experiential validation—and explains how shame shows up when woundedness isn't seen, held, and appreciated by ourselves and our loved ones.
He helps us understand the role of boundaries in healing from shame; how shame impacts our physical health and wellness; how to unshame disturbing feelings; and the interconnections among body, social issues, shame, and abuse. With exercises, profound insights, case studies, and psychological science, Unshamed is an easy-to-understand guide to breaking shame down for good.
source: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/209194384-the-unshaming-way
You can't truly understand trauma, without understanding shame. Unshaming is the essence of trauma healing. Most of us are, consciously, or unconsciously, imprisoned by shame. What is Unshaming? When you Unshame, you stop viewing the things you're ashamed of as broken parts of yourself that need to be fixed or healed. You integrate the deep meaning behind your difficulties, as if they are invitations to embrace your wholeness and doorways to your shadow's gold. The result is a life liberated from judgment, connected to your inner intelligence, and attuned to a profound sense of wellness. A life where you understand what your next steps should be, as you begin to walk a path that is aligned with your soul purpose and the unique medicine you are here to share with the world.
source: https://www.davidbedrick.com/
#100
Other / Re: Our Healing Porch Part 8
Last post by Teddy bear - January 11, 2026, 09:35:21 AMHey folks, I'm here too,
This area feels so comfy and pleasant that me and my dog Teddy decided to join you. Teddy is a Golden Retriever mix, a lovely friendly puppy who's been living with us for two and a half years already. She's an adult dog, but still acts like a puppy sometimes. By the way, she's a foundling. She's almost always around, and I really enjoy her company.
I'd sit in a rocking chair, observing a nice view of the sea and mountains (gosh, I haven't been in such a place for so long in reality!), with my chocolate pudding and a brownie—desserts I recently made that were delicious.
We're about to join Marcine for a walk to the beach with candles and a quiet evening beside the shore.
Amazing place 😊 We love it! 💚🦮
This area feels so comfy and pleasant that me and my dog Teddy decided to join you. Teddy is a Golden Retriever mix, a lovely friendly puppy who's been living with us for two and a half years already. She's an adult dog, but still acts like a puppy sometimes. By the way, she's a foundling. She's almost always around, and I really enjoy her company.
I'd sit in a rocking chair, observing a nice view of the sea and mountains (gosh, I haven't been in such a place for so long in reality!), with my chocolate pudding and a brownie—desserts I recently made that were delicious.
We're about to join Marcine for a walk to the beach with candles and a quiet evening beside the shore.
Amazing place 😊 We love it! 💚🦮