Recent posts
#91
Successes, Progress? / Re: Post-Traumatic Joy
Last post by NarcKiddo - January 11, 2026, 11:25:52 AM
#92
Frustrated? Set Backs? / Re: stuck in a loop
Last post by NarcKiddo - January 11, 2026, 11:23:29 AMThat sounds really tough. Ignore this if it doesn't help, but Kizzie's post touches very much on what I was thinking as I read yours. It sounds like you have been doing so much hard work to get better that maybe you need a rest from that. Maybe taking stock of what is "good enough" and just sticking there for a while could help. It doesn't mean you are settling, it doesn't mean you are saying that something is good enough for ever. But maybe it is good enough for now, while you take a breather and take time to plan the next step. It feels from your post that you are being bombarded by so much that you feel like you are being backed into a corner and being forced to be reactive. Nobody can sustain that - but the corner can be helpful too. The walls have got your back. Maybe you don't need to fight your way out of the corner just yet.
I hope things improve soon.
I hope things improve soon.
#93
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Greetings from the storm- ...
Last post by NarcKiddo - January 11, 2026, 11:12:23 AMHello, and welcome.
My favourite reptile? The tortoise. When I think about it, the tortoise kind of replicates the protections we build up with CPTSD. A great heavy shell that functions well in many ways, but we have to stick our head out if we want to do pretty much anything.
I think many of us here are familiar with the feeling of not even being able to open up to a therapist. You're not alone. We get it, and I'm glad you found us.
My favourite reptile? The tortoise. When I think about it, the tortoise kind of replicates the protections we build up with CPTSD. A great heavy shell that functions well in many ways, but we have to stick our head out if we want to do pretty much anything.
I think many of us here are familiar with the feeling of not even being able to open up to a therapist. You're not alone. We get it, and I'm glad you found us.
#94
Recovery Journals / Re: Ran's journey
Last post by Ran - January 11, 2026, 10:24:29 AMI have actually started dating him. It just happened. I can tell that I do have genuine feelings, but he is a massive troll as he pushes my cptsd attachment buttons deliberately. I don't hate it all, but I just fear that once things are over as long distance relationships last rarely, then it will hit me hard also I got overwhelmed too, but that part might be too triggering, so
Trigger warning: flashback, claustrophobia, trapped, panic attack!!!
I started feeling claustrophobic, because I was suddenly put into a wife role, with no ceremonies and I had an I think it was flashback of people's faces around me watching, so I felt trapped. I got even a bit of an panic attack. I'm over it now, but it was something new.
Trigger warning: flashback, claustrophobia, trapped, panic attack!!!
I started feeling claustrophobic, because I was suddenly put into a wife role, with no ceremonies and I had an I think it was flashback of people's faces around me watching, so I felt trapped. I got even a bit of an panic attack. I'm over it now, but it was something new.
#95
Successes, Progress? / Re: Post-Traumatic Joy
Last post by SenseOrgan - January 11, 2026, 10:10:02 AMKizzie
Exactly! Thank you for creating the space where we can find "the others". Cheers!
dollyvee
Thank you! Cheers!
Exactly! Thank you for creating the space where we can find "the others". Cheers!
dollyvee
Thank you! Cheers!
#96
Books & Articles / David Bedrick - The Unshaming ...
Last post by SenseOrgan - January 11, 2026, 09:50:05 AMDavid Bedrick - The Unshaming Way: A 3-Part Model for Dismantling Shame - Integrate Trauma, Unlearn Self-Blame, and Reclaim Your Personal Power
For readers of Brené Brown, Curt Thompson, and Tara Brach. We're sold the idea that shame serves a purpose: it must protect us from something...otherwise it wouldn't be there. Right?
Not really. In Unshamed, author, mental health expert, and professor David Bedrick reveals that there really is no good "use" for shame—and offers a revolutionary model to dismantle it. He shows how shame affects us all...and often in ways we might not expect. Shame connects to our struggles, our relationships, how we show up in the world, and how the world shows up (or fails to) for us. So how we can shed our shame, integrate our trauma, and unleash the personal power, efficacy, and confidence that are our birthright? Bedrick breaks it down in three parts:
Respect: how the practice of witnessing can help us be fully seen, heard, and held—and what that can do for our self-power and self-esteem
Relating: how to restore our sense of mattering—especially when our hurt, neglect, or trauma shows up as shame
Radical belief: how we can reclaim our voice, experiences, and embodied truths by owning our authority, autonomy, and authentic needs without projecting our shame and trauma onto others
Bedrick explores the roots of shame, sharing the connections between trauma, shame, and experiential validation—and explains how shame shows up when woundedness isn't seen, held, and appreciated by ourselves and our loved ones.
He helps us understand the role of boundaries in healing from shame; how shame impacts our physical health and wellness; how to unshame disturbing feelings; and the interconnections among body, social issues, shame, and abuse. With exercises, profound insights, case studies, and psychological science, Unshamed is an easy-to-understand guide to breaking shame down for good.
source: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/209194384-the-unshaming-way
You can't truly understand trauma, without understanding shame. Unshaming is the essence of trauma healing. Most of us are, consciously, or unconsciously, imprisoned by shame. What is Unshaming? When you Unshame, you stop viewing the things you're ashamed of as broken parts of yourself that need to be fixed or healed. You integrate the deep meaning behind your difficulties, as if they are invitations to embrace your wholeness and doorways to your shadow's gold. The result is a life liberated from judgment, connected to your inner intelligence, and attuned to a profound sense of wellness. A life where you understand what your next steps should be, as you begin to walk a path that is aligned with your soul purpose and the unique medicine you are here to share with the world.
source: https://www.davidbedrick.com/
For readers of Brené Brown, Curt Thompson, and Tara Brach. We're sold the idea that shame serves a purpose: it must protect us from something...otherwise it wouldn't be there. Right?
Not really. In Unshamed, author, mental health expert, and professor David Bedrick reveals that there really is no good "use" for shame—and offers a revolutionary model to dismantle it. He shows how shame affects us all...and often in ways we might not expect. Shame connects to our struggles, our relationships, how we show up in the world, and how the world shows up (or fails to) for us. So how we can shed our shame, integrate our trauma, and unleash the personal power, efficacy, and confidence that are our birthright? Bedrick breaks it down in three parts:
Respect: how the practice of witnessing can help us be fully seen, heard, and held—and what that can do for our self-power and self-esteem
Relating: how to restore our sense of mattering—especially when our hurt, neglect, or trauma shows up as shame
Radical belief: how we can reclaim our voice, experiences, and embodied truths by owning our authority, autonomy, and authentic needs without projecting our shame and trauma onto others
Bedrick explores the roots of shame, sharing the connections between trauma, shame, and experiential validation—and explains how shame shows up when woundedness isn't seen, held, and appreciated by ourselves and our loved ones.
He helps us understand the role of boundaries in healing from shame; how shame impacts our physical health and wellness; how to unshame disturbing feelings; and the interconnections among body, social issues, shame, and abuse. With exercises, profound insights, case studies, and psychological science, Unshamed is an easy-to-understand guide to breaking shame down for good.
source: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/209194384-the-unshaming-way
You can't truly understand trauma, without understanding shame. Unshaming is the essence of trauma healing. Most of us are, consciously, or unconsciously, imprisoned by shame. What is Unshaming? When you Unshame, you stop viewing the things you're ashamed of as broken parts of yourself that need to be fixed or healed. You integrate the deep meaning behind your difficulties, as if they are invitations to embrace your wholeness and doorways to your shadow's gold. The result is a life liberated from judgment, connected to your inner intelligence, and attuned to a profound sense of wellness. A life where you understand what your next steps should be, as you begin to walk a path that is aligned with your soul purpose and the unique medicine you are here to share with the world.
source: https://www.davidbedrick.com/
#97
Other / Re: Our Healing Porch Part 8
Last post by Teddy bear - January 11, 2026, 09:35:21 AMHey folks, I'm here too,
This area feels so comfy and pleasant that me and my dog Teddy decided to join you. Teddy is a Golden Retriever mix, a lovely friendly puppy who's been living with us for two and a half years already. She's an adult dog, but still acts like a puppy sometimes. By the way, she's a foundling. She's almost always around, and I really enjoy her company.
I'd sit in a rocking chair, observing a nice view of the sea and mountains (gosh, I haven't been in such a place for so long in reality!), with my chocolate pudding and a brownie—desserts I recently made that were delicious.
We're about to join Marcine for a walk to the beach with candles and a quiet evening beside the shore.
Amazing place 😊 We love it! 💚🦮
This area feels so comfy and pleasant that me and my dog Teddy decided to join you. Teddy is a Golden Retriever mix, a lovely friendly puppy who's been living with us for two and a half years already. She's an adult dog, but still acts like a puppy sometimes. By the way, she's a foundling. She's almost always around, and I really enjoy her company.
I'd sit in a rocking chair, observing a nice view of the sea and mountains (gosh, I haven't been in such a place for so long in reality!), with my chocolate pudding and a brownie—desserts I recently made that were delicious.
We're about to join Marcine for a walk to the beach with candles and a quiet evening beside the shore.
Amazing place 😊 We love it! 💚🦮
#98
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Greetings from the storm- any ...
Last post by Ollyollyoxford - January 11, 2026, 06:39:46 AMHello, I'm Olly,
When you finish reading this- please share your favorite reptile if you have one! If you don't like them well... to each their own.
I really don't know how to start this introduction- what's too much info, what's not enough?
Educator, artist, gen-z (mid-20s), writer, libra, likes long walks on the beach- okay, now that's out of the way...
I've been in therapy and psychiatric counseling ever since (at least as far as I can remember) kinder, but it's only in my adulthood that I'm accepting that a lot of my symptoms and unhealthy behaviors are largely attributed to unresolved trauma- neglect, abuse, religious and gender related stuff, and the most recent within the decade- betrayal. I only became aware I had trauma in my teens, as the household I grew up in normalized much of the toxicity that I was exposed to- any suffering was just an act of "martyrdom" we HAD to experience.
On top of this I have anxiety, major depression, autism, and I was diagnosed with D.I.D. a long time ago (it's largely been managed- still on my record though). Honestly I've been tossed around psychiatry so many times, I don't know what is or isn't accurate about my diagnoses. I've had to be brought to hospital/homes three times but, those days are long behind me.
I've been wanting to find a community that could understand and communicate the complexities of trauma, but I've always been afraid to put myself out there. Beyond my therapist, I have nobody who I am comfortable enough to talk about how trauma has affected me. I'm unfortunate to say that my efforts in the past beyond therapy are often met with judgment, shame, or condescension- leading me to further secure the walls around my vulnerability. It's gotten to where I sometimes can't even open up to my therapist because I'm so guarded.
Also, with autism I've been told I come off cold. In one instance described as "venomous", which isn't too bad because I really love reptiles, particularly komodo pit vipers- trimeresurus insularis- to be exact. This said, I truly hope that what I write doesn't get misinterpreted as such. I promise it is something I actively try to pay attention to. And it's why I will read my writing over and over and it will take me forever to send a non-practical text or email.
Oh also yes, happy new years to you all. Good luck to those going to work and/or school again. Those who are retired... enjoy!
When you finish reading this- please share your favorite reptile if you have one! If you don't like them well... to each their own.
I really don't know how to start this introduction- what's too much info, what's not enough?
Educator, artist, gen-z (mid-20s), writer, libra, likes long walks on the beach- okay, now that's out of the way...
I've been in therapy and psychiatric counseling ever since (at least as far as I can remember) kinder, but it's only in my adulthood that I'm accepting that a lot of my symptoms and unhealthy behaviors are largely attributed to unresolved trauma- neglect, abuse, religious and gender related stuff, and the most recent within the decade- betrayal. I only became aware I had trauma in my teens, as the household I grew up in normalized much of the toxicity that I was exposed to- any suffering was just an act of "martyrdom" we HAD to experience.
On top of this I have anxiety, major depression, autism, and I was diagnosed with D.I.D. a long time ago (it's largely been managed- still on my record though). Honestly I've been tossed around psychiatry so many times, I don't know what is or isn't accurate about my diagnoses. I've had to be brought to hospital/homes three times but, those days are long behind me.
I've been wanting to find a community that could understand and communicate the complexities of trauma, but I've always been afraid to put myself out there. Beyond my therapist, I have nobody who I am comfortable enough to talk about how trauma has affected me. I'm unfortunate to say that my efforts in the past beyond therapy are often met with judgment, shame, or condescension- leading me to further secure the walls around my vulnerability. It's gotten to where I sometimes can't even open up to my therapist because I'm so guarded.
Also, with autism I've been told I come off cold. In one instance described as "venomous", which isn't too bad because I really love reptiles, particularly komodo pit vipers- trimeresurus insularis- to be exact. This said, I truly hope that what I write doesn't get misinterpreted as such. I promise it is something I actively try to pay attention to. And it's why I will read my writing over and over and it will take me forever to send a non-practical text or email.
Oh also yes, happy new years to you all. Good luck to those going to work and/or school again. Those who are retired... enjoy!
#99
General Discussion / Re: Letter to Gabor Mate
Last post by Kizzie - January 10, 2026, 08:34:01 PMYou know, this reminds me of the controversy of Alice Miller's son Martin, a psychotherapist in Switzerland re his book about his mother (https://www.outofthestorm.website/guest-bloggers/2019/4/28/how-victims-become-perpetrators-passing-war-trauma-on-to-your-own-children). The book is titled "The True Drama of the Gifted Child" and is about his abuse at the hands of his mother. When he published it he received both criticism because his mother was so beloved for her work in child trauma and no-one could quite believe what he was saying, and complements for sharing his truth about her.
I had a difficult time knowing quite what to think and feel myself until I came to see what Martin himself see's about his mother. That is, she was never quite able to deal with the trauma of the war and ended up passing it on, but that her work is still so very important because she had a strong intuitive and intellectual grasp about childhood trauma. It made me think that she is actually a good example of just how hard it is for anyone to deal with trauma, in her case so much so she pushed it down, intellectualized about it, only to have it seep out on her children.
I feel the same way about Gabor Mate, that is, I still see a lot of value in what he has contributed to the field even after reading her article, but am grateful that the author raised what are some serious issues. It's problematic to put people on a pedestal because we make ourselves vulnerable in doing so. I don't need a hero, but I do need professionals to have a strong moral and ethical compass so I can trust them. If he is indeed drifting away from the rigour and solid ethics needed in healthcare, I want to know that.
I had a difficult time knowing quite what to think and feel myself until I came to see what Martin himself see's about his mother. That is, she was never quite able to deal with the trauma of the war and ended up passing it on, but that her work is still so very important because she had a strong intuitive and intellectual grasp about childhood trauma. It made me think that she is actually a good example of just how hard it is for anyone to deal with trauma, in her case so much so she pushed it down, intellectualized about it, only to have it seep out on her children.
I feel the same way about Gabor Mate, that is, I still see a lot of value in what he has contributed to the field even after reading her article, but am grateful that the author raised what are some serious issues. It's problematic to put people on a pedestal because we make ourselves vulnerable in doing so. I don't need a hero, but I do need professionals to have a strong moral and ethical compass so I can trust them. If he is indeed drifting away from the rigour and solid ethics needed in healthcare, I want to know that.
#100
Frustrated? Set Backs? / Re: stuck in a loop
Last post by Kizzie - January 10, 2026, 07:38:50 PMAsdis, these are just my thoughts of course but I remembered feeling similarly some time back in recovery and thought I'd share about what helped me. I remember I started to see a lot of books and articles about being self-compassionate as I was working really hard on recovering and that sort of grabbed me for some reason. I took what I was reading to heart and for me that meant slowing down and not doing so much, about trying less hard rather than more hard, and of being less perfectionistic and accepting that I am human. So many of us have such a bossy Inner Critic that we don't even think to tell it to shush, to question what it is telling us, and to move toward a more compassionate loving self that the IC blots out.
I don't know if this will resonate with you but I hope some of it does and you can step outside that endless loop.
I don't know if this will resonate with you but I hope some of it does and you can step outside that endless loop.