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#91
Recovery Journals / Re: Living As All of Me
Last post by TheBigBlue - February 15, 2026, 05:08:54 PM🍋🥤 💛
#92
Recovery Journals / Re: Living As All of Me
Last post by SenseOrgan - February 15, 2026, 04:59:56 PMBreaking the cycle to the point of it being NBD to your child is a really FBD. I love you for this. And I hope you get the credit you deserve. Not in the least from yourself. 
❤️
❤️ #93
Recovery Journals / Re: Living As All of Me
Last post by Chart - February 15, 2026, 04:43:12 PMHey HannahOne, Late to the party... Sorry, can't put enough "yeah that's" to encapsulate what everyone's already said.
Sending support and understanding. Not the same with me, but similar enough to know the leaded suspense. So sorry.
Sending love. Support too. Thinking of you and thank you for sharing.
Sending support and understanding. Not the same with me, but similar enough to know the leaded suspense. So sorry.
Sending love. Support too. Thinking of you and thank you for sharing.
#94
Recovery Journals / Re: The ramblings of an abused...
Last post by GoSlash27 - February 15, 2026, 04:23:04 PM The frustrating part is that so many of my memories are as she describes; "perfect happy days".
But at some point there was DV, child abuse, and upheaval/ isolation in '74 (age 2/3) followed by a mostly clear stretch in the '70s with sporadic abuse, followed by chronic DV and child abuse throughout the '80s.
Most of it was good.
All of it has been obscured and marred by the trauma, including everything that happened after during adulthood. My son regularly recounts stories I do not recall although I have plenty of memories of that time.
It sucks that dissociative amnesia isn't more selective. It messed up everything.
But at some point there was DV, child abuse, and upheaval/ isolation in '74 (age 2/3) followed by a mostly clear stretch in the '70s with sporadic abuse, followed by chronic DV and child abuse throughout the '80s.
Most of it was good.
All of it has been obscured and marred by the trauma, including everything that happened after during adulthood. My son regularly recounts stories I do not recall although I have plenty of memories of that time.
It sucks that dissociative amnesia isn't more selective. It messed up everything.
#95
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: My Story
Last post by Dandelion22 - February 15, 2026, 04:12:33 PMI don't quite get how to reply to posts here yet, but thank you for the welcoming messages.
#96
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by sanmagic7 - February 15, 2026, 04:10:02 PMthanks, hannah1. we decided to put red highlights in our hair this morning, which was fun, but i'm getting myself together now to go to the drugstore and get more medicine. she ran out of the stuff that works for her. so, can't really rest today, but at least i'm clean!
and the beat goes on. been eating a ton of sweets to get thru this bout of illness, cooked sloppy joe so we could just heat and eat, and now there's a barrel of dishes waiting for me. so, not a lot of rest yet. but i feel better today. my meds are helping, too.
and the beat goes on. been eating a ton of sweets to get thru this bout of illness, cooked sloppy joe so we could just heat and eat, and now there's a barrel of dishes waiting for me. so, not a lot of rest yet. but i feel better today. my meds are helping, too.
#97
Recovery Journals / Re: Miscellaneous ramblings of...
Last post by sanmagic7 - February 15, 2026, 04:06:31 PMNK, after watching more cop shows than i care to admit, i've noticed it's always been the guilty ones who keep talking, giving details that weren't asked for, reasons/excuses for not being at the scene, alibis that are too convenient. STFU, absolutely! i find myself doing a lot of the same, finding reasons/excuses why i do or do not do or think something, when, really, there's no need. when my head is on straight, i know i don't need any of the excess word scramble - and that's exactly what it feels like i'm doing, is scrambling for words. our reasons are good enough, do not have to be offered, but can be presented w/ confidence when asked. now, if i can only follow that in my life! lol!!!
the situation w/ your parents is mind-boggling. and, what is a Luddite? i'm not good w/ technology, and i'm thinking it's some kind of mocking thing, something bad. is that what the younger generation thinks of us oldsters? i had just gotten the hang of doing math on a slide rule when i ended up out of the game for a while, and when i went back to school, all the classes allowed scientific calculators to be used for math problems. what?! i bought one, but it was beyond me to be able to figure it out. i had to drop the class cuz i was failing it. so be it. love and hugs
the situation w/ your parents is mind-boggling. and, what is a Luddite? i'm not good w/ technology, and i'm thinking it's some kind of mocking thing, something bad. is that what the younger generation thinks of us oldsters? i had just gotten the hang of doing math on a slide rule when i ended up out of the game for a while, and when i went back to school, all the classes allowed scientific calculators to be used for math problems. what?! i bought one, but it was beyond me to be able to figure it out. i had to drop the class cuz i was failing it. so be it. love and hugs
#98
Recovery Journals / Re: The ramblings of an abused...
Last post by GoSlash27 - February 15, 2026, 04:04:06 PMhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzMGDdUyHkQ
This scene hits hard for me. "I remember".
I remember so many things they say I shouldn't be able to, and have no recollection of so many events I should recall.
She was just a baby in those photos, but she remembers that day just as I do.
My earliest autobiographical memory dates back to age 1, possibly 2. I was sitting on the front porch of a townhouse "project". My mom was hot- combing my dad's hair and I vividly recall that there was no landscaping or road. There was construction equipment parked and all of that was still under construction. I remember marveling at the sea of churned brown clay where grass, cement, and asphalt should be.
There were no siblings present in the moment, no reason why anyone would ever recount such a mundane experience. There was no immediate danger aside from the fear that I might fall off the stoop and into the mud.
This memory was not coached or fabricated. It's too detailed, mundane, and personal. How old was I? What was the context? I have no idea. But I remember it anyway.
I used this memory as a clue like all the rest. At some point, I lived at this place. It had one standout attribute; a single large concrete patio that connected all of the units instead of one stoop per.
I don't know where this is, but I expect to find out shortly. My foster care records likely will include the address next door where they picked me and my siblings up.
We moved from that project to a proper house when I was 2 and I have many memories of that house at age 2, but when they picked me up I was in the apartment next door in that project.
Point is: I remember all of this. I shouldn't, but I do.
This scene hits hard for me. "I remember".
I remember so many things they say I shouldn't be able to, and have no recollection of so many events I should recall.
She was just a baby in those photos, but she remembers that day just as I do.
My earliest autobiographical memory dates back to age 1, possibly 2. I was sitting on the front porch of a townhouse "project". My mom was hot- combing my dad's hair and I vividly recall that there was no landscaping or road. There was construction equipment parked and all of that was still under construction. I remember marveling at the sea of churned brown clay where grass, cement, and asphalt should be.
There were no siblings present in the moment, no reason why anyone would ever recount such a mundane experience. There was no immediate danger aside from the fear that I might fall off the stoop and into the mud.
This memory was not coached or fabricated. It's too detailed, mundane, and personal. How old was I? What was the context? I have no idea. But I remember it anyway.
I used this memory as a clue like all the rest. At some point, I lived at this place. It had one standout attribute; a single large concrete patio that connected all of the units instead of one stoop per.
I don't know where this is, but I expect to find out shortly. My foster care records likely will include the address next door where they picked me and my siblings up.
We moved from that project to a proper house when I was 2 and I have many memories of that house at age 2, but when they picked me up I was in the apartment next door in that project.
Point is: I remember all of this. I shouldn't, but I do.
#99
Recovery Journals / Re: Marcine’s journaling forwa...
Last post by sanmagic7 - February 15, 2026, 03:55:47 PMmarcine, i think being our own friend is one of the rare gifts of courage and care we can give ourselves. i think it's foundational, a great place to start. and, yep, i agree w/ SO - we want to be around you for who you are. your being gives off light and we are drawn to it. love and hugs
#100
Recovery Journals / Re: Living As All of Me
Last post by sanmagic7 - February 15, 2026, 03:49:17 PMditto, hannah1. 9.5! o my heart! and a glass of lemonade. what a fantastic metaphor, at least to my mind. you did good, hannah1. real good! you are the oasis in your kid's life, where lemonade flows in abundance, just right to quench the thirst of the surrounding desert. brava! love and hugs