Recent posts
#91
Sexual Abuse / Re: how to bring up SA and sex...
Last post by LaylaDalal - February 17, 2026, 11:15:35 PMHey,
I really like the answer around interviewing the therapist and asking them questions (if they can deal with sexual abuse etc) before disclosing any details about yourself.
If you want to try to talk about your experiences, I could suggest to maybe introduces the subject via Email before or to prepare a note you can either read to them during the appointment or just hand them, depending on your state. That's how I do it often with my therapist when I'm too overwhelmed/dissociated to talk about any details.
You could also do this with the questions. In my opinion, its completely valid to ask them if and how they deal with sexual trauma and/or trauma around sexual identity. It also feels valid to tell them that its hard for you to trust a gay man at this point because of your experiences - that might be hard to name but their answer to that would give you a lot of information wether its a fit or not.
Wishing you all the best and a lot of care and compassion for yourself! Even if you just pass a note or say 3 words or something similar - that's completely valid. I think you're being so courageous, already.
Oh wow, just realized - the post is from 4 years ago, ha ha! I hope you've found a great solution by now ❤️
I really like the answer around interviewing the therapist and asking them questions (if they can deal with sexual abuse etc) before disclosing any details about yourself.
If you want to try to talk about your experiences, I could suggest to maybe introduces the subject via Email before or to prepare a note you can either read to them during the appointment or just hand them, depending on your state. That's how I do it often with my therapist when I'm too overwhelmed/dissociated to talk about any details.
You could also do this with the questions. In my opinion, its completely valid to ask them if and how they deal with sexual trauma and/or trauma around sexual identity. It also feels valid to tell them that its hard for you to trust a gay man at this point because of your experiences - that might be hard to name but their answer to that would give you a lot of information wether its a fit or not.
Wishing you all the best and a lot of care and compassion for yourself! Even if you just pass a note or say 3 words or something similar - that's completely valid. I think you're being so courageous, already.
Oh wow, just realized - the post is from 4 years ago, ha ha! I hope you've found a great solution by now ❤️
#92
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Introducing myself - hi, m...
Last post by LaylaDalal - February 17, 2026, 10:57:50 PMThank you so much for all your welcoming messages! ❤️
#93
General Discussion / Re: Taking part in a research
Last post by Blueberry - February 17, 2026, 08:54:28 PMGood for you, Teddy bear! I've taken part in a couple of studies and felt that I was at least contributing lived experience with cptsd. It being a field that needs more research. Sometimes it was a little destabilising for me. I hope you don't experience that.
#94
Recovery Journals / Re: I Am
Last post by Blueberry - February 17, 2026, 08:43:39 PMQuote from: Bach on February 15, 2026, 06:17:18 PMI wish I wasn't a black hole of neediness and dysfunction.
I read this right next to the picture of a parrot in your avatar. I'm wondering if that parrot thinks you're so needy and dysfunctional. I bet they don't.
(Although I do unfortunately understand where you're coming from with that wish.)
#95
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Introducing myself - hi, m...
Last post by Blueberry - February 17, 2026, 08:39:16 PMWelcome to the forum Layla 
You're very welcome to go step by step here, only opening up as much as you personally can.
You're very welcome to go step by step here, only opening up as much as you personally can.
#96
Recovery Journals / Re: Papa Coco's Recovery Journ...
Last post by Blueberry - February 17, 2026, 08:14:48 PMHugs PapaCoco 
#97
Physical Issues / Re: Weight fluctuations, body ...
Last post by Blueberry - February 17, 2026, 08:11:58 PMQuote from: Teddy bear on February 16, 2026, 06:09:54 PMThis may result in higher BMI and cholesterol.
Just to add: my cholesterol levels used to be worse when I was not overweight. My doctor thought it was because my whole metabolism wasn't working well due to trauma. My trauma used to play out physically a lot. My body was wracked in pain that no doctor could find a reason for - probably my emotional pain was making itself known physically. Etc etc etc. This isn't to say noone with trauma should believe their doctor when the doc discovers overly high levels of whatever but the emotional and physical body aren't as separate as we would like to think, maybe?
#98
Symptoms - Other / Re: Complex Relational Trauma,...
Last post by TheBigBlue - February 17, 2026, 08:08:30 PM🗣💬 ❌ ➡️ 🚜 📢 
Awesome
Awesome
#99
Physical Issues / Re: Weight fluctuations, body ...
Last post by Blueberry - February 17, 2026, 08:03:53 PMHi Teddy bear,
I'm certainly sensitive to comments on my body size and have body dysmorphia, altho I have experienced a lot of healing in both. I used to be a bit underweight apparently, or maybe it was just I looked that way because I was always trying to disappear psychologically. I didn't want to exist. For a number of years now, I've been mostly okay about existing and have swung the other way. I'm fat, keep growing out of jackets and trousers etc. My size and looks actually bother me a lot less than they would have say 10-20 years ago, it's just the present inconvenience of no longer fitting into my rain gear... and not replacing because difficult to find and expensive.
FOO told me I was fat throughout my childhood, teens and on into my twenties, thirties, forties, although I wasn't. I have very low contact with all of them so no video calls or anything and they haven't seen me for 10 years. I would say my body dysmorphia developed in childhood, I mean how was I meant to know that what my FOO referred to as fat was actually muscle?? I did figure out at some point that my calves were fairly muscular from cycling but as for the rest of my body? It shouldn't have existed is the message I got.
They actually seemed to think I was fat so idk if they had body dysmorphia about me?? idk if that exists? They were ashamed of themselves or me or?? And projected that onto me. Anyway sorry to keep rambling on, but with trauma in your background eating disorder and body dysmorphia are not exactly rare. Maybe you need to figure out how it developed in your case in order to heal? idk.
There is actually a whole Eating Issues board on here https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?board=234.0. It's maybe a lot to read but could also be interesting to read about others' problems and even some healing too.
I'm certainly sensitive to comments on my body size and have body dysmorphia, altho I have experienced a lot of healing in both. I used to be a bit underweight apparently, or maybe it was just I looked that way because I was always trying to disappear psychologically. I didn't want to exist. For a number of years now, I've been mostly okay about existing and have swung the other way. I'm fat, keep growing out of jackets and trousers etc. My size and looks actually bother me a lot less than they would have say 10-20 years ago, it's just the present inconvenience of no longer fitting into my rain gear... and not replacing because difficult to find and expensive.
FOO told me I was fat throughout my childhood, teens and on into my twenties, thirties, forties, although I wasn't. I have very low contact with all of them so no video calls or anything and they haven't seen me for 10 years. I would say my body dysmorphia developed in childhood, I mean how was I meant to know that what my FOO referred to as fat was actually muscle?? I did figure out at some point that my calves were fairly muscular from cycling but as for the rest of my body? It shouldn't have existed is the message I got.
They actually seemed to think I was fat so idk if they had body dysmorphia about me?? idk if that exists? They were ashamed of themselves or me or?? And projected that onto me. Anyway sorry to keep rambling on, but with trauma in your background eating disorder and body dysmorphia are not exactly rare. Maybe you need to figure out how it developed in your case in order to heal? idk.
There is actually a whole Eating Issues board on here https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?board=234.0. It's maybe a lot to read but could also be interesting to read about others' problems and even some healing too.
#100
Physical Issues / Re: Constantly t i r e d. Shou...
Last post by Blueberry - February 17, 2026, 07:25:14 PMI don't know what is best for you and your body, but do know that healing from trauma can be absolutely exhausting, so if you can fit in time/space for breaks or naps as necessary that could be more useful than adding energy? But idk for sure. Even with cptsd we're all a bit different.