Recent posts
#91
Checking Out / Re: Checking Out in the good w...
Last post by Blueberry - June 26, 2025, 12:02:10 PMHappy to hear of this progress CactusFlower! Take care 
#92
Recovery Journals / Re: Of course it's worth it!
Last post by sanmagic7 - June 26, 2025, 11:16:49 AMglad you're able to see that, blueberry. i concur wholeheartedly! sounds like a lovely little encounter. love and hugs
#93
Recovery Journals / Re: I Am
Last post by sanmagic7 - June 26, 2025, 11:14:34 AMsending you a hug of comfort and care, bach
i remember being told many times from 12-steppers to 'let go and let God', and i would say that it wasn't me hanging onto anything, cuz the 'stuff' was hanging onto me. i do believe that's how this works. it's not necessarily anything we are ABLE to let go of, try as we might. this stuff has a hold on us thru neural networks or whatever so the 'letting go' thing just isn't our reality.
i do believe, however, this, too, shall pass, as i've heard many times here on the forum, and have experienced that many times as well. i just hope you can take care of yourself as best you can while you go thru this part of the c-ptsd beast, and hang on till you come out the other side. love and hugs
i remember being told many times from 12-steppers to 'let go and let God', and i would say that it wasn't me hanging onto anything, cuz the 'stuff' was hanging onto me. i do believe that's how this works. it's not necessarily anything we are ABLE to let go of, try as we might. this stuff has a hold on us thru neural networks or whatever so the 'letting go' thing just isn't our reality.
i do believe, however, this, too, shall pass, as i've heard many times here on the forum, and have experienced that many times as well. i just hope you can take care of yourself as best you can while you go thru this part of the c-ptsd beast, and hang on till you come out the other side. love and hugs
#94
Recovery Journals / Re: I Am
Last post by Bach - June 25, 2025, 10:54:14 PMI'm feeling very low today, very bad about myself. I think what I'm supposed to do with that is acknowledge it, let myself feel it and not try to repress it or talk myself out of it, and then let it go. But I have trouble with the whole "let it go" thing. I don't seem to know how to do it, not with this, not with big things, not with anything. I get stuck in my negative feelings and can't seem to get out. Sad. Today I really feel like my mother's daughter, and that is not a good way to feel. I'm like a black hole of neediness with no real self.
#95
Recovery Journals / Re: Of course it's worth it!
Last post by Blueberry - June 25, 2025, 09:56:40 PMQuote from: Chart on May 21, 2025, 07:49:07 AMThat is super interesting. I've always wondered why I'm super motivated to do my own stuff when I'm working for someone else. And when I have time for myself I just sit here... like today... :|
I don't know why that would be Chart, though I'm sure there's a reason somewhere. However I don't quite see the connection between what you're experiencing and my tendency to feel activated when there's something wrong with me physically. (Unless it's something like having a fever, which doesn't activate me, fortunately, because a body needs rest at that point.) If you want to discuss further, please copy over to your Journal, thanks.
It is verrrrrrry hot today and I'm not feeling super-motivated to do tons, tho I have maybe done more than on some days. I went to the library in the early afternoon to read the newspaper but ended up talking to the woman sitting next to me (the library has a little café where you can read newspapers but also talk). Though we didn't know each other, it ended up being quite a deep, personal conversation. I didn't feel dumped on at all though. She was sympathetic to some things I mentioned too, not really trauma - maybe contributed a bit to my childhood trauma. As I'm still mulling what to write to a friend I'm in disagreement with, this encounter helps me realise that I'm not this terrible egoitistical person only interested in my own 'stuff' and not caring about other people's feelings or that they also may have rough spots.
#96
Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: ZOOM Support Groups
Last post by Blueberry - June 25, 2025, 09:32:34 PMWelcome to the forum, Flyinglove. Just send Kizzie a PM (DM).
#97
Sexual Abuse / Re: Sexual abuse as a child
Last post by Armee - June 25, 2025, 06:14:04 PM
Many mental health professionals have not healed their stuff. I wonder if you could begin that journey and obtain therapy as you go? Significant healing for betrayals like you experienced take so long, but there's no need to put everything off till you meet that finish line. Maybe even the school you go to will have free therapy?
#98
Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: ZOOM Support Groups
Last post by Flyinglove - June 25, 2025, 05:17:04 PMHi guys new to the forum. I'm just wondering if there is a support group still running?
#99
Medication / Re: considering starting meds ...
Last post by Blueberry - June 25, 2025, 03:44:15 PMI've just read your post and my heart goes out to you. It sounds so difficult, I'm sorry 
I have either partial DID or OSDD rather than full DID, and I don't have any meds for that. I just take Citalopram as an anti-depressant and L-Thyrox for thyroid underfuntion. I don't have the impression that Citalopram helps when I'm in a really bad way, when I'm in EFs. I think it helps a little bit in general when I'm more hit with depression Being in EFs - I think that's really when I'm more in a Part than in my Adult of Today. I don't find it surprising that there's not a medication for that, tho my psych doesn't seem to understand. Unfortunately, he doesn't know enough about DID and sub-forms of it...
My present psychiatrist is probably the best I can do round here. I have been in far worse, far less competent care. It took me a good while to find a semi-compatible one. I wish it weren't so.
I'm sorry I don't really seem to have anything helpful to say, so just sending support.
I have either partial DID or OSDD rather than full DID, and I don't have any meds for that. I just take Citalopram as an anti-depressant and L-Thyrox for thyroid underfuntion. I don't have the impression that Citalopram helps when I'm in a really bad way, when I'm in EFs. I think it helps a little bit in general when I'm more hit with depression Being in EFs - I think that's really when I'm more in a Part than in my Adult of Today. I don't find it surprising that there's not a medication for that, tho my psych doesn't seem to understand. Unfortunately, he doesn't know enough about DID and sub-forms of it...
My present psychiatrist is probably the best I can do round here. I have been in far worse, far less competent care. It took me a good while to find a semi-compatible one. I wish it weren't so.
I'm sorry I don't really seem to have anything helpful to say, so just sending support.
#100
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: A little bit about me
Last post by NarcKiddo - June 25, 2025, 12:58:07 PMWelcome. There's plenty of us here who think we didn't have it all that bad compared to others. Anyone who has made it through childhood without ever being told by anyone that their situation was not normal or healthy will very likely assume that childhood was normal.
Well done for getting sober and I am glad you found a good therapist.
Well done for getting sober and I am glad you found a good therapist.