Introductory Post

[Mandox]

Hello everyone,

What a relief to find this support group.  Thank you.  I'm finding the site a little difficult to navigate, so apologies if I am posting in the wrong place.  I have just arrived at the point of telling my husband that if he can not accept that I am ill, and that my outbursts of frustration are not personal to him, that my flashbacks and emotional surges are not something that are easy to control and not something that happens because of a lack of love or care on my part, we have to separate.  I'm exhausted apologising and try to make up for my behaviour.  I'm thinking it's easier to give up.  I've asked him to try and find out about CPTSD, and to think about supporting me, but of course it's a big ask, isn't it ? and so difficult to know and understand what that even means.

[Blueberry]

A warm welcome to the forum Mandox   I'm glad you found us.

As far as I can see you're posting in the right place

[Papa Coco]

Mandox,

Welcome, welcome, welcome!!!  I found this forum 18 months ago and it's been a positive, nurturing, caring environment ever since. I sincerely hope you find the same care here.

It's good that you have asked your husband to be supportive as he can be of you, and I really resonate with how that can feel selfish, but it's not. If you had cancer or a broken leg, you could ask for support. How is CPTSD any different?

It's difficult for people who don't have trauma triggers to know how to help, but you were wise to ask him to read up on CPTSD. The best resource I have  found to get started  with understanding CPTSD is the book by Pete Walker called Complex PTSD, from Surviving to Thriving. If he accepts your request to learn more, that might be a good book, if he's willing to read it.

My wife doesn't understand CPTSD, but she has seen how my Therapy and the books I read have helped me so she supports me by not criticizing me, and by not arguing if I go out looking for more help. She knows it helps, so she supports me getting help.  I appreciate that a lot.

But here on this forum, all the members get it. We know what it feels like. We know that trauma triggers are sometimes impossible to avoid, so we don't need to ever "explain ourselves" to each other. We are birds of a feather.  I've discovered that on those days when I feel the most afraid to post anything, that those are the best days to post something...even if the post is "I don't know what to say. I feel _____ and I don't know what to do about it."  Then, the caring, empathetic souls on this forum almost always jump in to rescue me. It's an amazing group of people. We truly are on each other's side.

I'm SO glad you found the forum.

You mention that you're struggling with navigating this forum. Here's how I get past my own struggle with that myself: I usually focus most of my time in the section called Recovery Journals. It's a place where we can each start our own journal, saying anything we feel we need to say. We can ramble on or just give quick updates. Anyone can read these journals and respond by simply clicking on the respond button on the lower right. Even when you want to add a new post, you just click on the same Respond button. There just isn't enough time in the day for me to view all the different places people post threads, so most of my time is spent responding to people's Recovery Journals.

Again, Welcome!

[Mandox]

Thank you, Papa Coco.  Helpful and encouraging, thanks for taking the time!

[Not Alone]

Welcome, Mandox.