Rainy Journey 23

[rainydiary]

Thank you Bach - I have not thought much about the long term impact of all the moving I've done but seem to be feeling the impact now.  It is something to reflect on more.  I appreciate your support.
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Well, my husband and I somehow lucked out and are now under contract for a house. 

This will make the next month rather eventful. 

This feels like a good thing and I am excited for this house.

[Bach]

What great news, rainy, I'm so happy for you!  Best of luck with the process going forward. 

[Moondance]

Cheering for you!! 

[Armee]

 

Congratulation!

[rainydiary]

Thank you Bach, Moondance, and Armee.  I am still feeling very excited.  We have an inspection scheduled for tomorrow and I hope that goes smoothly.
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I am feeling heavy as Sunday closes and the prospect of Monday arrives.

I have 8 more weeks of work until a long break.  I don't feel like showing up anymore. 

I have a lot of emotions and even though I am excited at the prospect of having my own house, this is going to be another transition that will require a lot.

I am trying to take it one step at a time.

[Blueberry]

I hope this work week ends up being a bit lighter than you are fearing.
I so get not feeling like showing up anymore. Back from times when I worked more than I do now.

[rainydiary]

Thank you BB - today was an interesting start to the week but now that it's going I usually have enough momentum to get through the week.  I appreciate your support.
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Today was in some ways a lot and in others not.

I only went to work for a few hours today and could have just stayed home given how many kids were absent this morning.  I needed to go in so I could get my computer.  I am also glad I did because a colleague initiated a conversation for collaboration and I had a few things I could do.  I'm also glad I wasn't there all day. 

Today was the day that lots of people related to home buying started pestering - title company and lender specifically.  So many forms to sign and things to do.

I went home early from work so I could be at our home inspection with my husband.  The last time we bought a home I did very little in the process.  At that time, I didn't understand myself well and wouldn't have missed work for anything.  Now I realize that sometimes I just don't need to be at work.  And that my husband and I can help each other navigate all the house buying processes.

The inspection was fine I suppose.  They didn't find anything that seemed super concerning or anything to walk away from. A few things that probably should be fixed.  My husband and I will meet with our realtor on Thursday to discuss responding to the inspection.  This will give us time to review the report and think about our response.

I am extremely over this school year.  8 more weeks to go until a long break.
I hope to sleep better tonight than I did last night.  I sleep but sometimes not enough.  I had a lot of difficult remembrances of the past today.  I listened to a podcast today about autistic burnout that was helpful to my understanding of myself. 

[Moondance]

I sure hope you have a peaceful, restful sleep and that you feel somewhat rested after a long  sleep, long for you I mean.  😴

Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

[rainydiary]

Thank you, Moondance, I appreciate your support.
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I did not sleep well last night.  I was too warm and had trouble settling.

I made it to work today but would rather not be here.  I have a meeting after school that it would cause more problems for me to not attend. 

I am not sure how I am going to get through this day.

[sanmagic7]

hey, rainy, with you as you trudge thru the day, a helping hand if you need it to support you so you can make it.

congrats on finding a house.  but, ugh, for the moving bit.  i'm glad you were able to be more present for this one.

hope you have better sleep tonight.  love and hugs

[Moondance]

 

[rainydiary]

San and Moondance, I appreciate your care.  I read the messages while at work and it was helpful.
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Well I made it through the day but feel so drained.

I had a really difficult sensory experience at work that caught me off guard.  Some colleagues planned to hold a joint session with a student that is a wheelchair user.  The student's parent came and brought their young child.  They all burst into my work area and the sound and sheer overwhelm of it set me off.  I actually cried.  And the worst part felt like they had no awareness that they were disturbing me.  My colleague that I have ups and downs with checked in with me and talked to them. 

I was able to advocate for myself about a meeting I had after school.  I emailed the leader to ask if I could share my report first as I wasn't feeling well.  I should have stayed home today but needed to go to be part of that meeting.  She actually honored my request and I was able to get home a lot earlier than I was expecting.

That said being at home right now isn't restful.  There was loan application stuff to do, some of which I can't finish because I need the person that sent the information to clarify some things for me.  Plus the overall home buying process is feels overwhelming and feels like it is so easy to make a giant mistake and be taken advantage of.

I hope sleep feels better tonight.  Some of the issue is hormones.  Plus stress.  Plus healing.  Plus being a person not made for the world I am trying to navigate.

[Hope67]

Hi Rainydiary,
That experience sounds really horrible, and very disturbing.  I'm sorry that they didn't realise how they had impacted on your space and I hope that you're feeling a bit better by the time you read this.

It's good that you successfully advocated for yourself regarding that meeting.  That's really good.

I hope you got some restful sleep.


Hope 

[rainydiary]

Thank you, Hope - I appreciate you checking in.
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I am starting in the day in a dark place.

I didn't sleep well again.  Stress is high.  My husband's stress is high also and I find the way he manages his stress so difficult because it feels like the emotional load is on me.

I am struggling to find relief.

[Moondance]

So so sorry you are feeling so stressed.  Hope some relief will come today and a better sleep tonight.

I send you a comforting hug, one that makes you feel cared for and carried for a bit.