Learning to heal, Larry's journey

[Larry]

went to a meeting again today,  oepn discussion about self acceptance ,  allowing myself to be wrong and allowing others to be wrong.  it was really good for me,  i needed to hear what others were sharing.  i did have a few drinks last night,  but didn't over drink,  i would like to stop feeling like a need a few.   i'm going to try to enjoy today. 

[Armee]

Keep going, you're doing amazing work Larry. 

[dollyvee]

Hi Larry,

I'm really glad you were able to connect with the other members of the group. I hope you keep going back.

Sending you support,
dolly

[Larry]

thank you armee and dolly  ,  i have been feeling pretty good,  missed the meeting yesterday and today,  might go tomorrow.  really trying to focus on my boundaries with others without being selfish.   

[Larry]

i did not sleep at all last night,  but feeling positive this morning.  trying to stay away from negative people and find some support.  the aa meeting was good for that,  but i missed it again today.   i really would like to find a cptsd support group,  i have thought about trying to start one in my area,  i think that is the biggest thing i need right now,  been doing really good with not drinking.  a few days ago i was getting depressed, and having self harm thoughts,  but i was able to recognise what was happening,  and things did not get out of control.  i feel pretty good about that 

[Larry]

trying to fight off depression this morning.  it's hard feeling isolated. 

[Larry]

i had a few drinks last night,  it always starts with just wanting 1 or 2,  i didn't over drink,  and i feel ok this morning,  going to try to get some work done and maybe go to the gym today

[Hope67]

Hi Larry,
I hope that you managed to get some work done, as you hoped, and also that you were able to go the gym, if you still felt like doing so.

Sending you a hug 
Hope 

[Larry]

thank you hope ! 

[Larry]

been having a hard time the last few days,  i don't know what to do,  nothing is working,   i feel like a few drinks will help.   

[Larry]

today was better,   i didnt drink,  went to the gym,  and got some work done.  having a hard time finding support,   i might try to go to an aa meeting again

[Larry]

kind of lonely today,  it's hard spending so much time alone,  feeling isolated and unwanted.   i don't really know what to do. 

[Larry]

today was ok,  did some gardening,  watched some sports with people i know at the local bar.  didn't drink,  and havent in 3 days.  my wife is putting a lot of pressure on me to call my mother.  i haven't talked to her since i attempted suicide.  i am going to try to call her tomorrow.  i just don't want to talk about what happened with her.  i know it will come up.   next session is tuesday.....

[dollyvee]

Hi Larry,

That sounds like a difficult conversation with a lot of emotions coming up. Your t might be a good source to help you develop some ideas for dealing with it. Sorry you're feeling alone and isolated. I hope you're able to reach out to some of the help around you.

Sending you support,
dolly

[CraneWings]

Hey Larry, it's great that you have hobbies like gardening. And good job not drinking while at the bar. That sounds like an emotionally loaded call with a lot of potential pain, I wish you luck.

I find that visualising a call going well repeatedly, and complimenting myself for it in the buildup, can make it easier. Though that's just my experience.