I Feel Like Society Ignores Us

[Chart]

PapaCoco, wow... its like the softest, gentlest, two hands on earth, just reached into my chest and gave my heart the most magnificent, tender and thought-provoking massage I never could have imagined possible.

Your rayonnant post comes to me when I am so needing love and so bitter at the pains inflicted upon me by my ex-girlfriend and never-father. Hour by hour of each ongoing day, I swing back and forth between inner-despising and outer-lashing... and like being drawn and quartered I am tearing myself apart from all directions.

But your post has set me freely weeping. Quiet tears of relief and release. You have simply and softly provided a profound and gentle alternative.

I too hope my words don't sound too weird. Perhaps they feel strange to me because they are such a contrast to the bags and bags of pain I still stubbornly refuse to drop. But I believe with all I am that you have hit the mark flawlessly like an old bowman of life-long practice.

Thank you so much for your words tonight. Sending love in return and am so happy for all of us, the hope you've given is precious. Je t'embrace très fort. -Chart

[natureluvr]

If we don't strive to better ourselves personally, we instead seek to feel our personal power through un-useful trivial things that happiness students call the Hedonistic Treadmill. Here in the US, people seek personal power through expensive cars, bigger houses, punishing anyone who disagrees with them, mean-speak on social media, etc. Those things make us feel better for about a minute. That's why the science of happiness calls this the Hedonistic Treadmill. It produces wars, hatred, anger, isolation, poor parenting, poor leadership. Basically, every social problem we have is because of people grasping for power on the horizontal path.

I find this to be very validating, because I have personally been on the receiving end of behavior like this.  I've always been a kind person, because i know how much meanness and cruelty hurt. 

 

Searching for power in working to learn how to be forgiving and compassionate is changing me permanently. It's calming my 6 decades long anxiety. It's making me feel stronger and calmer and safer. The growth is a slow process, but if I want to walk from Seattle to New York, every small step is as important as all the others.

Good words of wisdom here. It's hope inspiring for me. 

I too am very grateful for this platform.  It's the one place I feel safe to share my emotional struggles and challenges. 

[natureluvr]

PapaCoco, wow... its like the softest, gentlest, two hands on earth, just reached into my chest and gave my heart the most magnificent, tender and thought-provoking massage I never could have imagined possible.

Your rayonnant post comes to me when I am so needing love and so bitter at the pains inflicted upon me by my ex-girlfriend and never-father. Hour by hour of each ongoing day, I swing back and forth between inner-despising and outer-lashing... and like being drawn and quartered I am tearing myself apart from all directions.

But your post has set me freely weeping. Quiet tears of relief and release. You have simply and softly provided a profound and gentle alternative.

I too hope my words don't sound too weird. Perhaps they feel strange to me because they are such a contrast to the bags and bags of pain I still stubbornly refuse to drop. But I believe with all I am that you have hit the mark flawlessly like an old bowman of life-long practice.

Thank you so much for your words tonight. Sending love in return and am so happy for all of us, the hope you've given is precious. Je t'embrace très fort. -Chart

What beautiful eloquence.  I feel privileged to be able to witness how much Papa Coco has touched you, Chart.

I am so needing love and so bitter at the pains inflicted upon me by my ex-girlfriend and never-father.

Oh, how I resonate with this sentiment.  I, too, am slowly releasing massive amounts of bitterness and hurt from the abuse of my past. 

But your post has set me freely weeping. Quiet tears of relief and release. You have simply and softly provided a profound and gentle alternative.

This is wonderful.  I personally find tears to be profoundly and incredibly healing.  It allows me to release the emotional pain from when I was pre verbal, which is a tremendous gift. 

[Papa Coco]

Chart and Naturluver,

My heart is swelling right now at how much I'm enjoying my connection with you both. This conversation is absolutely a two-way street. I am getting as much tearful joy from you as you report to be getting from me.

In my FOO and the church that raised me until I walked away from them as an adult, positive attention was almost always a set up to take something from me. When you say these kind things to me, I feel like I can trust you. That's a new feeling for me. I see you as the kindest type of people. You make me feel safe, even when you're being kind. You can't imagine how grateful I am to be able to trust kindness for once in my life.

When it comes to honest, caring friends, I truly believe that we're all stronger together. We're stronger when we support each other. I'm lovin' it.

[natureluvr]

In my FOO and the church that raised me until I walked away from them as an adult, positive attention was almost always a set up to take something from me.

  I'm sorry you experienced this in your family and church, places where you should experience unconditional love, Papa Coco.