Forging New Paths

[Desert Flower]

Yay Blueberry, good for you!     

[Blueberry]

I think this is my most recent Recovery Journal as opposed to Mbr Journal.
Just letting members know:
 
Now that I've started the Expressive Arts therapy, I may not be on here so much. Probably doing more journaling in my Paper Journal. I will undoubtedly be in my Zoom Group, but not talking about Expressive Arts therapy

Sometimes I may be here on the forum reading or responding to others though.
 

[sanmagic7]

i hope your new venture goes well for you, blueberry.  i'll miss you here, tho - just wanted to let you know.  love and hugs 

[rainydiary]

I appreciate you a lot Blueberry and understand that sometimes time away from usual things is needed.

[Blueberry]

I'm in 'give up' mode, I even went into hibernation over Christmas, just lay in bed dozing and reading and eating the edibles I got for Christmas.

I feel ashamed of giving up.

Ditto.

It is an EF though, that much I know today. If my neighbours knew... If my landlord knew... It's none of their business that my apt is total chaos or that I'm not capable of working atm. I know my feelings of shame don't have anything to do with them. With LL, it's more me feeling ashamed of what 'the powers that be' might say. He's the boss of the building, the way FOO mbrs were boss of the house when I was still a child and the way certain FOO mbrs are still boss of the workings of FOO and how that still affects me. Even though it probably "shouldn't". But it does. That's trauma.

Mostly ditto, interestingly enough. It's specially interesting for me to read the bit I've just bolded, because I haven't been aware of that recently. It might not be that this time actually. I know I'm ashamed of my chaos and not working, but maybe the 'powers that be' stuff isn't relevant atm, not sure, have the idea something might have adjusted slightly.