Healing journal (tw) Angering / strong emotions

[StartingHealing]

10-16-2024

Doggo has settled down.  Did get some pheromone based and essential oils doggo chill spray.  I've tried many different 'treats' for chilling out a doggo.  The stinker will not eat em.. Blach. 

The onion has started to peel again.  More old stuff coming out.  Another of the passes through this spiral.

Wishing all here all the best

[StartingHealing]

Oct 18 2024

Deep Purple's song smoke on the water is bouncing around the thinking meat at the moment.  Weather has changed a bit.  Might get some rain today which would be a good thing.  Normally this area is dry like in the 15-20% range for humidity, gets worse when the rains don't come.  I hope that the winter season will bring some. 

Back is better, still flares from time to time.  Been noticing that it even flares if I have a bit too much to eat as well.  Maybe the subconscious has decided that I need a negative reinforcement to get me heading in a better direction.  Have to say that quality organic fair trade chocolate is a weakness of mine.  Found a middle ground I think.  It's like a snickers bar w/o all the sugar.  Since I have been out of the fog on relationships with those with a personality disorder, that process has all been going on with the situation that I find myself in.  There are times that.. well, I feel as if those institutions I trusted betrayed me.  Food, health care, banking, gooberment.  Milk you get from a store ain't milk outta the cow, same with other food products.  I need to change my eating some anyhow.  What's the saying?  Oh yeah, it's 80% diet and 20% exercise.  Back to the 80/20 rule aka the Pareto principle. Chlorine in drinking water is bad enough but to add a non-natural form of fluoride that has been proven to be not good for any living beings health? Stopping here, if I continue I'll be going down another rabbit hole which is actually legit.  No theories about it. 

Wishing all here, all the best

[Chart]

Yeah I hear ya. Eating better is NOT easy...

[StartingHealing]

Indeed Chart.

Been looking into the paleo - keto - carnivore and what has really sprang out at me is that change in peoples mental state.  Yes, I know that it's all anecdotal but holy smokes, when you drill down into it, what isn't?  Folks with severe stuff like schizophrenia, DID, etc, get better.  Not to mention the mass of people that have self reported that mood, outlook, less anxiety, all better.  Couple's trying to conceive including IVF, and change the eats and wham.. I think there is something to this.  I know that when I go heavy on carbs, the mood the next day is poopy. Have more aches / pains which it seems that carbs trigger a inflammation response on a body wide scale.  What's that doing to my thinking meat? 

Been through several changes in what I ate over the years.  There for a while because the former spouse pushed it, vegan, then modified vegan, then typical stuff, then keto (which she gained weight on because she would mindlessly eat in front of the TV.  And not like jerky or chittlen's, her fav was heavenly hunks a soft cookie, 1 piece was like 250 calories, a bag was like 50 of them, at times she'd eat the entire bag)   While I lost weight on keto, felt pretty good overall when I was doing it.  I think of what I would typically eat on the farm and it was high fat medium protein and minimal carbs.  I think I'll see if I can do that again.  Have to say that evening is when my carb desire comes on strong.  May have to tweak things to fit what the body needs.  Why not?  Have to say, seeing guys in their 50's look like their in their 30's?  And I've found out about some other things that I didn't know about before like oxolates, which drive a lot of bad things in the human body and they come from plants and they also build up in the body.  Man, so yeah, food pyramid, bogus, totally industry driven propaganda.  I've known for a while now to not trust them gooberment types but (insert favorite cussword here)!  This week is a pay week and usually go shopping.. Time to lay in some different eats and see how I do. 

Wishing all here all the best

[Chart]

Dollyvee's journal reminded me about fish oils. Bought tons of fish yesterday. Ate smoked trout for dinner. My inguinal hernia gave a sigh of relief.

[Little2Nothing]

I started keto 7 years ago. I did it to control my diabetes. At the time I was type 2 and got off all meds and insulin. 

I lost over 100 lbs and my depression all but disappeared. 

I have since been diagnosed as type 1. I currently eat carnivore and keep my sugar in the normal range. 

The mental health benefits are amazing. I still have a lot of trauma to navigate, but severe depression is not part of it. Yes I get depressed and anxious still, but it is not lasting. 

I would recommend  Brain Energy by Christopher M. Palmer. The book explains the connection between mental health and diet. 

[Chart]

Thanks L2N!
I quickly found this on YouTube but haven't watched it yet... tonight...
https://youtu.be/IrPtrDLvfEQ?si=kv6kxaXSkFdOdV9M

[StartingHealing]

Chart, Little2Nothing,

Isn't it amazing the link between gut and brain?  I've been looking into this guy Dr. Jack Kurse.  Really going into some additional areas like the link of sunlight and gut and brain.  DHA, iodine, EMF, circadian rhythm.  A lot ties into what carnivores, paleo and keto reports as well.  Been thinking about it and before former spouse my typical was higher fat and protein and not much carbs.  Hmm, I wonder if my exposure to a carb addict over the years pushed me into being one as well.  No lie, I do have a tooth for good chocolate. Which also now is iffy because of the oxalates.  I have learned to stay the (insert fav cuss word here) away from seed oils.  Tropical oils if needed is ok.  There is a butcher shop pretty close to work.  Pasture raised and then corn finished.  Plus need to get a air fryer apparently. 

I'm definitely wayyyyy better than I was a year ago let alone 2 years ago.  Trying to piece it together, you know?

Wishing all here all the best. 

[Chart]

I'm definitely wayyyyy better than I was a year ago let alone 2 years ago.  Trying to piece it together, you know?
 

Very nice to hear that!!!
Heck, finally developmental trauma only takes two, three, (seven?) years to get ovrr, eh!?

[StartingHealing]

Chart,

Wee bit confused.  By developmental trauma are you talking like childhood or the 1/4 century I spent with the former spouse?  Or perhaps both? 

I've done the genetic genealogy and pieced some stuff together and I can say now that the relation(feces) with the former spouse was me, finally closing that pattern.  Oh yeah, genetic mother -> 2cd mother -> former spouse.  (insert cuss word here) est thing, with just the data off ancestry whooo, added to the info I got personally from surviving members of genetic mom's family, not. good. at. all. Lots o' fecal matter of the self destructive kind. Nope, not in contact with them.  Kinda expected you know.  A walking, talking, skeleton from a particular closet. Using ancestry was able to track down some 1/2 siblings on genetic fathers side.  Sent letters etc.  figured it would be easier on everybody.  Yeah, same thing.  Lots of parental alienation there.  Since genetic father ... old term was "a rolling stone". Ahem. 

Really weird to me even now.  two married people, not to each other, and here I am.  Collateral from the so called adults decisions.  Sometimes I wonder about how the idea that we go through what we go through because of some soul level contract / soul learning thing.  I also wonder about like the idea of past life stuff and this one is balancing the scales for a previous one.  Both in some ways are victim blaming in my opinion.

Have you heard of Shawn Ryan?  Former military and a 3 letter agency operative.  PTSD, functional alcoholic, .. and he's stated on his podcast/streaming channels that certain psychedelics, and he was able to (in his words that I've cleaned up) "remove his brain case from his rectum".  Ron White the comedian has done soul vine, Soooo maybe in a year or 3, I can have an experience with a plant teacher that will result in me being fully mended not just functional.  That I imagine would be really really good.

Wishing all here, all the best.

[StartingHealing]

26 Oct 2024

Busy day yesterday.  Had run here to do that and then run there to do this and it's all ok.  Been pecking away at a college course and me noggin .. I know I will get it, it's getting there.. you know?  Spent 45 min to a hour on it so far today. Less call of nature break.  I think I'll go shopping.  There is a natural grocer that has pasture fed / finished meats.  Need to lay in some I reckon.  Nah, the commercial stuff.. hard pass.  I also think they carry raw milk as well.  that would be good. 

Me peepers been bothering me.  Need to get in to a place and get the Rx checked.  The rest of the poop.. eh don't care because most of what comes outta their mouth is an attempt to scare me into things and nah, they can piss off.  +

Have some UV block over glasses coming along with a tri-field meter.  Gonna get myself learned up and start taking some steps to reduce my emf / magnetic field /rf exposure. 

Wishing all here all the best

[Chart]

What's the uv block for? Screens? Me too my eyes are going south...

[StartingHealing]

What's the uv block for? Screens? Me too my eyes are going south...

The glasses I have to wear for work don't have any of the good stuff applied to them.  No UV block, near uv block, no anti-glare, etc.  Depending on the day I may only look at a screen at work for a couple of hours distributed, other days it's the entire shift.  Then the TV which also throws a tremendous amount of blue light, mobile device, and then also working on school work which requires a screen for that as well. 

Yes, the blue light emitted by screens messes with ya.  It sends a signal to the brain that it's like noon. That will mess with sleep. 

Also found out that ivermectin has potential for controlling / removing clumps of unregulated cells that grow without limit. In humans and doggies.  Need to get some, somehow, for my doggo.  Skin stuff and with the possible of side effects as low as they are, with the possible benefit of taking care of that.. yeah. Personally with the track record it has for safety.. why does us humans need a Rx to get it? 

Wishing all here all the best.

[Chart]

Thanks SH. I'm gonna get an appointment with the eye doctor before I have to buy a cane. Looked up ivermectin. Good to know about. Prescriptions = control. Control = money. But I'm lecturing to the academy...

[StartingHealing]

Thanks SH. I'm gonna get an appointment with the eye doctor before I have to buy a cane. Looked up ivermectin. Good to know about. Prescriptions = control. Control = money. But I'm lecturing to the academy...

Indeed.  control and more control.  I get the thing concerning safety.  However... Looking at the track record of FDA  approval, yeah.  (insert cuss word here) 'em!  The number of people that have died from a "medication" / "treatment" .. I don't understand why the general public has the level of trust that it does with the entire so called medical system (including big pharma)  the lockdowns have brought that down some.  Hard to imagine that in the USA on average 700,000 people die every year from the medical / big pharma.   Another thing that I have looked at is the profit model of certain industries. That explains sooooo much.

Wishing all here all the best