Hello

[Plumeria30]

Hello, I'm new here.

I was emotionally abused and neglected over most of my life, I was too young to remember what happened when I was very young.

I also have tourettes and my thoughts and feelings are 'bubbling', random, and I mostly experience deep depressions with grief and regrets, and intense anxiety, with random thoughts that either intensify or lessen my pain.

Anyone else experience anything like this?

I'm able to work, but barely, and everyday things, like showering and everyday chores feel impossible to do till I get a break and can effortlessly do them like with a few things in my life.

Thank you for any input!

[Dark.art.girl]

Hi Plumeria! Welcome. I'm grateful to see you here, and I hope the holidays treated you well.

Intrusive thoughts and compulsive thoughts are super common. I've struggled with that since I was as young as five, coupled with crippling anxiety. For myself, I believe it comes from the constant instability of childhood and trying to regain control.

I'm sorry you struggle with these things. I noticed that for myself, self-care helps significantly. Taking the time to do things that soothe me, setting up routines, and simple things like sleeping and eating enough or going outside in the fresh air for a bit. Also, grounding techniques help a lot. The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique is one I use often when I get swept up in thoughts or flashbacks.

  Much love to you and your future journey here. Don't be afraid to reach out! This community is full of love and support.

[Kizzie]

Welcome to OOTS, I hope you find being here helpful   

I also have tourettes and my thoughts and feelings are 'bubbling', random, and I mostly experience deep depressions with grief and regrets, and intense anxiety, with random thoughts that either intensify or lessen my pain.Anyone else experience anything like this?

Heaven's yes, most of us I reckon    The problem with complex relational trauma is that it strikes at the very core of our being and leaves us feeling alone in the world among other deeply held fears.

I am sorry you feel all these things Plumeria and I hope by being here and sharing your experiences you feel less alone and in time better able to deal with all the chaos and pain.  Therapy (one-to-one and/or group) and medication can also help.

[Chart]

...I mostly experience deep depressions with grief and regrets, and intense anxiety, with random thoughts that either intensify or lessen my pain. 

Plumeria30, Yes! I experience that too. It has varied dramatically my entire life, with certain periods of relative stability, but it has always resurfaced in times of personal crisis. I'm currently in my worst period ever since I was 14, but this time I understand and have the experience and support of people with similar conditions. This has helped me beyond words. Very sorry you have a similar situation, but very glad you found this forum.
Sending hugs if that's ok...
 

[Blueberry]

Welcome to the forum Plumeria

everyday things, like showering and everyday chores feel impossible to do till I get a break and can effortlessly do them like with a few things in my life.

Sounds similar to my experience. I'm actually no longer working because I just can't, but that hasn't given me more energy for everyday things, on the contrary. Tho when I was still working they were a struggle too, until some moment when I could suddenly do them after all, along with other things. It feels for me like a log build-up in a clogged stream, where suddenly a branch or two gets swept away and I can do stuff, until further down they all get clogged up again.

[Chart]

It feels for me like a log build-up in a clogged stream, where suddenly a branch or two gets swept away and I can do stuff, until further down they all get clogged up again.

I really like that metaphor... The Cptsd Log-jam... that explains it perfectly.

[MountainGirl]

Hi Plumeria - Oh yes! For sure for sure I know exactly what you are talking about. I've been told by others, including my therapist, that the problems with getting stuff done are dead common amongst C-PTSD folk and I certainly have that problem
You will absolutely find people here who understand your difficulties. For myself, OOTS was a revelation, and a very helpful revelation, that made me realize I was not alone in these things and my problems are a result of what was done to me, not because there is something intrinsically wrong with me. That realization gave me a lot of relief. I hope you also will find relief in these pages. All the best to you Plumeria. Welcome to OOTS.