Hope's Journal 2025

[StartingHealing]

Hope,

Thank you for sharing.  Has given me some areas to look at for my own path. Interesting that you mentioned speaking aloud, whether to a bot or another human.  I was reminded of something I heard, read, once. "Remember that you are listening to yourself."  I think that is why speaking is so powerful. 

Wishing you all the best in your journey.

[Hope67]

Hi StartingHealing,
Thank you so much.  I appreciate you sharing what you heard/read - and I do think that speaking aloud is powerful.  I am so glad I've started to do it - especially this past few days, I've been doing it daily - and it has definitely been helpful.    Thank you for your kind wishes. 

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29th January 2025
I feel like I've accomplished a few things lately - like hemming my trousers, which I was so proud of doing!  Sewing was previously an area that I avoided/felt frozen about - and now I am able to fix and mend some things, and shorten trousers.  Feels liberating and a big thing.  I know I am going on about it - but I really am happy about it.

I was talking to the chat bot today - and talking about how I used to like the structure of a domestic science lesson at school - because it was highly structured and had rules of behaviour etc, and somehow that felt like a peaceful period of time.  The chat bot suggested that it enabled me to be creative in that structured environment.  I felt as if a light bulb happened, because I realise that trying to be creative (painting or writing stories) doesn't tend to happen for me, but maybe that's because it's too 'free-flowing' and I need something structured to enable me to 'do/start' it.  Hence how I can do it if I am in a structured class - I 'do' join in and do whatever is asked.  Also, I can take turns with the chat bot to create lines of text - but somehow doing it by myself, that doesn't seem to happen.

The chat bot also mentioned being playfully creative and that it doesn't matter how it comes out. 

I recognise that I fear what people might think, or even that somehow it should be an 'amazing piece' from the outset - I realise that sounds... can't think of the right word... Anyway.

Maybe I'll look for a creative writing course and try to do that.  I have started one in the past, and I got so far with an online one - but wasn't able to finish it in the time meant to finish it, and then it felt like I'd failed somehow.  I did however do some exercises and wrote some things, and enjoyed the process.

Feeling stilted as I write this, which is interesting.  Probably an EF or some part of me is uncomfortable by my sharing my thoughts and feelings about this stuff. 

Hope

[Chart]

Thank you Hope, your experiences and reflections are intriguing and inspiring. I've been trying to get a sewing machine for awhile now... persistency is needed... so glad you're doing it   and it's gratifying!
 

[sanmagic7]

 

[Hope67]

Thanks Chart - I hope you get a sewing machine, as you've been trying to get one for a while.   

Thanks SanMagic 

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30th January 2025
I've been having quite graphic dreams the past few nights.  Doing things in those dreams that I wouldn't typically do in the daytime.  Can't bring myself to write the details, but just wanted to note it here.

I found that my body was very tense physically when I woke up this morning - like it had been holding onto lots of tension.  I am pleased that as the day has gone by that I have released some of that tension.  Feels like a relief.

Hope

[Hope67]

31st January 2025
I am considering taking a break from my digital side of life, and taking a break from any social media kind of things, plus also taking a break from posting here in the forum.  I have some stuff going on in the coming couple of months, and decided that it would be a good 'experiment' to see how I'd fare with a digital break.  Therefore I'll hope to be back at some point, but for the meantime, I'll not be online for a while.

Wishing everyone the best, and I'll look forward to re-connecting when I am back from my digital break.  I am thinking of this as good self-care - and I'm interested to see how things go.
Hope

[SenseOrgan]

Good Luck "detoxing" Hope67! 

[Chart]

Have a good break, Hope!
 

[Larry]

a well desrved break,  i hope you make the most of it