Eureka - it's not in my head it's real!!

[sweetsixty]

Just finished reading Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal by Donna Jackson Nakazawa  and really wanted to share it -  it's the best read since Pete Walker! I can finally see how 'Adverse Childhood Events' (CPTSD) really do cause physical damage it all makes sense.

So CPTSD changes the brain and that then changes chemicals, hormones, etc etc which in turn affects even the way genes express themselves and DNA acts. So many of us end up with very real illnesses caused by the past.

If anyone is struggling with getting the connection between the mind/body link then this book is a must. It also gives hope on the healing front too.

There are a couple of articles on the web she wrote which explain the science briefly and also I've included a link to the major study that the book is based on, including the questionnaire you can do to see if it may apply to you. Hope it's all useful for you guys.

Link to the research study on Adverse Childhood Events which includes the questionnaire:

http://www.acestudy.org/home

2 links to the quick explanations of the study /book by Donna Jackson Nakazawa.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-last-best-cure/201508/7-ways-childhood-adversity-changes-your-brain

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-last-best-cure/201508/8-ways-recover-post-childhood-adversity-syndrome

And lastly the book:

'Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal'  again by Donna Jackson Nakazawa.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Childhood-Disrupted-Biography-Becomes-Biology/dp/1476748357

[Dyess]

Interesting , thanks for sharing.

[Kizzie]

It really is unbelievable (and downright scary) how trauma affects us so completely, not just psychologically but physiologically and neurologically.  It's a good reminder that we're not just healing our hearts, but the whole of our selves. 

Thanks for the resources SweetSixty, nice to be reminded and to have more helpful info in that regard.   

[no_more_fear]

Thanks for this. Must check it out. I'm riddled with health problems which I categorically know are linked to past trauma.

[sweetsixty]

Myself, I have Multiple Sclerosis, clinical depression, CPTSD (diagnosed), arthritis, epilepsy to just name the main issues. Wheelchair bound most of the time too! I think that speaks volumes!

[Butterfly]

Thanks I need to follow up and read more on this.

[Kizzie]

Hey Sweet Sixty - I just went shopping for a rollator (walker) yesterday and am feeling much, much older and worn down than my 59 years.  I have severe osteoarthritis in both knees and ongoing lower back pain that I only really started to grasp the significance of once I began to recover from CPTSD. 

It's the craziest thing. I was so in my head and battling all the emotional and cognitive stuff, I did not really see the physical deterioration, just managed it as we moved from place to place (my H was military), and never looked ahead to what would happen if I did not get on top of it. How did this happen?

C.P.T.S.D.  ...... that's what happened.   

So here I am having gotten through the worst of my CPTSD to a place where I am moving forward, clear headed and not battling demons on a daily basis. Except sadly I can't actually move forward very well anymore.  

Glass half full - I am clear headed enough now that my GP and I are doing all the things we need to to get on top of this including appts to discuss surgery and in the short term getting a good walker, physio, etc. 

Onward (with a little help from my wheeled friend).

[arpy1]

So here I am having gotten through the worst of my CPTSD to a place where I am moving forward, clear headed and not battling demons on a daily basis. Except sadly I can't actually move forward very well anymore.  

my hope is that as the physiological effects of being in constant arousal start to fade, the pains and autoimmune stuff will slowly improve. Kizzie, dear heart, you are amazing; you have come so far with the cptsd, i really believe your body is going to follow. as you say, "onward, with a little help"   

[sweetsixty]

Kizzie I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. I am waiting for an appointment for my right knee replacement whilst the left one is getting worse too. I have severe arthritis in the bottom of my spine, beyond my age according to my GP, which is exacerbated by walking with the damaged knees. I use a rollator too except when there is any more than a short distance to cover like shopping or walking in which case it's the scooter or wheelchair.

I had MS symptoms for 18 years before diagnosis, that's why I talked about schema therapy in another post. My unrelenting standards and perfectionism brought on by my CPTSD drove me to carry on working when most would have given up. I worked as a University Lecturer and Consultant, I raised 4 children and completed a PhD in those years. Whilst many doctors dismissed my symptoms as 'all in my head, etc.

It was only when I was finally diagnosed with MS, that I met my T through the MS team and she recognised CPTSD symptoms in me. Eureka I'm on my way to not living constantly with guilt, fear and shame BUT after retiring early at 58 only 2 years ago. I can barely walk and every day is a constant battle of symptoms and pain!

It would be so easy to just give up as the depression and suicide ideation which haunted me pre diagnosis nearly sent me driving off the road at the nearest tree on many occasions. I am eternally thankful to my T and my wonderful hubbie for keeping me here. But life is now a physical struggle.

So I really feel for you Kizzie, stay positive and hope like me that although physical ailments may not go we can control them a little more with a better path forward (no pun intended lol)

Sending hugs, you do an amazing job here x

[Kizzie]

Thanks so much SweetSixty and Arpy, I needed a virtual boost    Sorry SS, I didn't mean to take this thread sideways, it just seemed like the exact time and place to talk about all this physical stuff as I added a rollator into my life. Gah! (I did find a slick, modern looking one which may help me not to feel quite so ancient  )

I am so sorry to hear about the pain you are in, and that you have MS.  Do you think the CPTSD contributed? I knew my knees and back were getting worse, but in terms of priorities they weren't at the top of my list - EFs, drinking to numb myself, surviving were.  I guess when we have CPTSD it is so consuming we end up having to triage, deal with the life threatening things first and leave the rest.

I am happy to be "out of the storm" don't get me wrong, but now that I am I see and feel how devastating this disorder has been in ways I hadn't realized before.  It's a very hard pill to swallow.   I'm not giving up though, no way after all the emotional/cognitive work to get and keep a grip on this blasted CPTSD!

[sweetsixty]

Hi Kizzie,

In answer to your question, If you get chance look at the book I recommended above or even just read the articles about the book I shared links for. The subtitle "How your biography becomes you biology" said it all for me.  In it she explains how CPTSD affects our systems so completely. Why we are then prone to autoimmune illnesses (like MS) and why it is so many more women than men are affected by both CPTSD and autoimmune disease, which includes arthritis BTW.

I'm glad you have a groovy new rollator, mines a bit old fashioned but my walking sticks are designer!! My grandson keeps threatening to put flames down the side of my scooter too!

If you want to chat please message me as my back and knees are my main pain too. I have an osteopath who also has MS and who treats me regularly. She helps my pain using Cranial Sacrial Therapy to treat the 'body state' as she calls it as she believes that the mind and body are one.

Speak soon xx

[Kizzie]

Thanks for the offer SS, I will take you up on that 

[Phoenix]

I know I'm jumping on the thread a little late - but I also just finished reading the book Childhood Disrupted and cannot recommend it enough!!! I think it was even more powerful to me than Pete Walker's CPTSD book because the connection between my childhood and my psych problems made sense... but this connection to mysterious physical ailments has rocked my world.

I'm only 32 and have struggled with neglected health issues all my life... but a couple of years ago things started getting worse with severe back pain... and then about 6 months ago I broke out into hives all over my body and now suffer from severe joint pain. I've seen about a million doctors at this point who seemed to all shrug and say they're not sure what's wrong... (which makes me feel like they're suggesting it's all in my head). I have always been a workaholic - since the day I turned 14 and got working papers - drowning myself in ungodly amounts of work has always been the way I run from my intrusive thoughts... it's always been my drug of choice... but a month ago the pain became so overwhelming that I had to suddenly take leave from work. Still no answers although a rheumatologist thinks I should be evaluated for fibro... I'm very lucky to have an incredible psychiatrist, husband and job which has allowed me to truly hit rock bottom in the last month and still have something to gaze up at...

all this to say - reading this book made me feel less crazy... which, honestly, is often the number one thing I crave. I immediately had my husband start reading it as well and I think it changed how he viewed my physical health too. For anyone reading this thread that's read the book - my ACE Score is 7 and I'm going to start a separate thread about it to see if anyone wants to chat.

Ok - whew... that was a big vent for me... thanks for reading my ramblings... This has just been such a terrifying/depressing month for me and this book made me feel less at fault for it all...

[Dyess]

vent anytime We are all here to learn and help each other. Sounds like the book really hit home for you. That's awesome that you found it.

[Kizzie]

That's it, I'm ordering the book lol.  I have been really struggling with health issues and an inner critic who keeps blaming me so need to reinforce that I am not at fault.  Good luck Phoenix with sorting out your symptoms and  thanks again SweetSixty for bringing these resources to our attention