ch. 3 70's survival

[sanmagic7]

still alive, still in pain, trying a double up on the pain meds, see if that helps.

you all are great painkillers, too - just want you to know how comforting and soothing it's been to hear from you.  i'm pretty out of it, so more later.  love and hugs all around.

[Elphanigh]

Good luck my dear. Sending any comfort and help that I can 

[Blueberry]

 

[Three Roses]

 

[DecimalRocket]

 

[sanmagic7]

was able to write a bit in some journals, but i'm wiped out again.  dang.  just worn out.  i've been feeling like i've let everyone down by not posting responses, but i just don't have the energy.

to all of you sending me pos. energy, love, caring, kindness, and those beautiful hugs, thank you.  maybe someday i can address each of you personally.  just know that you and the gifts you've given me are so very appreciated.  love and hugs back to you all.

[camille13512]

San, don't worry about not replying when you need time. Just take your time and take care of yourself. You are not letting anyone down by doing that; quite the opposite, when you take notes about how you put yourself first, that also gives me courage too. Sending you a big warm hug.

[DecimalRocket]

Hi, San. It's alright.

While I haven't been in the fawn response much myself (And one of the major reasons I went on this forum is to practice that intense lack of it.), I heard of something that can calm the need to always help.

You see, it's this reminder that making the world a better place — as cheesy as it sounds — isn't something you put all the weight on yourself alone. When you need rest, there'll still be others that can support others. When they need rest, there'll also be others too.

When I feel something like this, it's comforting to count one by one the types of other kindness in smaller communities where I am or the world. Even big shots like millionaire philanthropists don't do it alone — where are they without the farmers who harvest their meals, the employees who carry out their work, their friends and family who support them, the factory workers in a far off country that create their clothes, the authors who wrote the books they've read, the teachers they've had and the teachers of those teachers and so on. . . .

There's not a single person in this world who's truly independent.

So I hope you take it easy San. Take it easy. 

[Elphanigh]

Dear sister of mine, don't worry about not replying when you don't have energy. Just know we are all here rooting for you, and are full of understanding. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself the way you are kind to all of us 

[Three Roses]

Don't you worry, San! You take care of yourself, first. Everything rise is a distant second. 

[Andyman73]

 

Andy 

[Hope66]

Big hugs to you from me too, SanMagic.   
Hope 

[sanmagic7]

you're all so beautiful!  i hope you can see in yourselves a glimmer of what i see. 

not so much pain today.  took myself off the anti-convulsive meds, they weren't doing anything.  taking back my power in this.  one more doc who wouldn't listen.  we are not dummies when it comes to what's going on with us!  argh!!!

the new star wars movie has some good messages, especially that love trumps hate.  i still believe this beast will be beaten thru love.  to that end, you are all in my prayers every night, and i'm sending love to everyone.  you so deserve all the love you can get, especially from yourselves.

i am very angry at something that happened here where i live - don't want to confront cuz i'm afraid i'll blow a gasket.  instead, i'm staying as away as i can, just doing my thing, keeping to myself as much as possible.  it was a boundary violation.  i'm now on alert, and i hate that i have to feel that way.   i though this was a safe place to live.

i'm not in danger, but my privacy is no more.  sucks.

thank you all for the hugs and well wishes.  you are all angels sent to me, of that i have no doubt.

[Sceal]

Sorry to hear the violation of your privacy. That is not okay what so ever. But i can relate to not wanting to stir the hornest nest.

Wishing you the best.

[DecimalRocket]

Hi San. It's really tough how professionals can sometimes not listen to feedback from their own patients. It's comparable to a restaurant owner who don't ask for feedback on how much their customers enjoy their food. The general knowledge of how people's treatments are of a doctor and the personalized knowledge of how the individual is need to be combined.

I've been reading the history of autism lately and the man who discovered it — Hans Aspeger — reminds me of how doctors could be. He'd judge his patients not through singular tests or short sessions but how they are throughout their lives. He'd continually update his views on those who he was examining rather than just on first impressions, which all people, not just doctors, can do better to emulate.

I'm sorry for the lack of privacy too. I hope the love you see here could make you feel better.